


If I had a moon in the sky to call mine (or, I'll tell you my secrets but please, give me a chance)

by Kuro_Ko



Series: Werewives [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gay Panic, Lesbians in Derdriu, They're werewives, We just love Derdriu, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 70,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuro_Ko/pseuds/Kuro_Ko
Summary: Derdriu is a city of dreams and promising futures for those that look for it. Humans or not.Hilda and Dorothea will find that out even if the past insists on trapping them.Mariane and Ingrid will make sure they find out, hand in hand, side by side.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Manuela Casagranda/Judith von Daphnel, Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Werewives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072379
Comments: 16
Kudos: 68





	1. A leap of faith (or a very persistent friend)

Marianne von Edmund deserved more than she gave herself credit for and, if she wasn’t going to give it to herself, Claude would.

Because Claude von Riegan knew how great his friends were. He smiled when he looked at the screen of his phone, a triumph on his quest to make his friends happier. At the other end of the call that had just disconnected, Marianne sighed.

She was tired and maybe that was the reason she said yes. Claude, usually understanding, had been so persistent she had been surprised. He wasn’t one to pester her, always respectful despite his playful nature. She rubbed her templates, aware that the coffee in her cup was going cold as she waited those last minutes for Ingrid to finish her shift.

She had gotten herself into a situation she dreaded.

Marianne took a sip and decided she wouldn’t be upset just because she let her coffee go cold or got herself into a blind date. At least not that day. She rubbed her face with her hands in the bustling cafeteria of the hospital. It was getting dark and people would soon return home, those who could at least.

Her long shift was over but she still had her white coat on, too tired to think of taking it off from her shoulders.

She had said yes.

What was she thinking?

“Hey! Sorry for making you wait.” She looked up, Ingrid was there with her cap still on and her reflective jacket open as her day was finished. “Ready to… are you ok?” Her golden hair was barely kept by her hat, her eyes looking for hers as she leaned forward in an unspoken question.

“I’m fine. I’ll tell you on our way home…” Marianne got up, taking her backpack with her and inviting Ingrid to walk alongside her. “How was your day?” She asked, a bit of small talk as they avoided people toward the parking lot.

“You know, the normal… ran a couple of red lights, nothing serious to report.” Ingrid opened a door and held it for her, her left hand fumbling in her pockets looking for her keys. “And, hey, I just had three cups of coffee today.”

“Congratulations, then. I’m proud of you.” Marianne thanked her with a curt nod going through the door she held for her. The echoes and noises of the hallways stopped immediately as they entered the underground parking lot. “Are we missing anything for the house?”

“Honestly, I think we can wait until the weekend.” She pressed a button in her keys and the car came to life a couple of meters away. “You look exhausted.”

“It was a long day.” She opened the passenger’s door and let herself just collapse into it. Ingrid had a sympathetic smile as she got in the car and started to drive slowly. No radio, no music playing. She knew it’d kick in a migraine for Marianne if she had to pay attention to one single thing more.

“Claude set me up on a blind date with a friend of his.” Marianne blurted out, as Ingrid joined the traffic in the main street. The blonde raised both eyebrows without looking at her.

“And you said yes? Aren’t those terrible?” That would be out of character for her friend. Ingrid shifted gears, as they picked up speed. Maybe Marianne had finally decided that she did deserve someone at least to give it a try.

She could endorse that.

Maybe she didn’t know how to say no.

Ingrid could help her with that.

“I was so busy. I just panicked.” Marianne buried herself deeper in the seat, the street lights lighting her face for less than a second, as they came and went and the car moved smoothly through the fairly clear street.

“You can always call him again and say no. He’ll understand.” She couldn’t look at her, but she didn’t need to. They’d been friends long enough for Ingrid to know her face and expressions.

“I…” She feared to say it out loud, but she knew a small part of her didn’t oppose the idea.

It scared her.

It called her.

“You wanna go?” That perked Ingrid’s interest. Marianne had spent so much time away from the dating environment that she feared she’d keep away from it forever. Ingrid wasn’t one to talk, but even she had had more dates than Marianne.

Same luck, yes, but more dates to test it out at least.

“It could be interesting…” She dared to admit, in a voice so small that if they were listening to the radio it would have been lost. Ingrid heard her, however. A smile tugging her lips as her heart filled with the warm feeling of happiness and content for her friend.

“I support you. I think you should give it a try.” She stopped at a red light, looking at her fully now. Green reassuring eyes in the hazel doubting ones. “It can be fun, and if it’s a disaster we can laugh about it later.”

“Thank you… Just, Ingrid… would you be around if I need you?” She was convincing herself into it, every little help step would help her to get there and try once more.

A shot of faith in the dark, as her whole life had been.

Ingrid smiled. That was easy to answer. “Always”.

* * *

“You look great, stop it already.” Ingrid chastised. Marianne stopped fidgeting with her braids, fumbling with the laps of her coat instead. “You’re lucky I can’t gently slap your wrists…” She mumbled, grinning her teeth. She wished to imbue her friend with trust and self-confidence.

She wished for her friend to be happy.

“You’ll be nearby, right?” Marianne’s voice was so small when she asked that it raised all of her protective instincts again.

“Of course, Mari. Just say the word and I’ll pick you up in no time.” Ingrid pulled up in one of the bustling streets of Derdriu where the bars and restaurants were and turned into life every night. She wouldn’t be able to remain there for a long time, she thought, biting her lip mindlessly. “Can you see her?” Ingrid looked into her smartwatch. They were a couple of minutes early, she could always round the block to make some more time if needed.

“She’s there”. Marianne was now paralyzed in her seat. Her brown eyes fixed in the woman getting out of a car across the street at the corner. Her long pink hair, her shoulders soft and gentle beneath her black coat. A silhouette she didn’t know and she’d spend time looking at.

Ingrid leaned forward, both hands in the steering wheel, eyeing the woman and humming.

“Ready?”

“No, but I don’t think I’ll ever be…” She sighed, taking her purse from her lap and unfastening her seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Hey.” Ingrid called. Marianne stopped, her hand on the handle. “Good luck.”

Her friend smiled.

“Thank you, Ingrid. Truly.”

She got out of the car, waving her friend goodbye, and started her way in unsure strides toward the girl.

Claude’s friend she had barely talked to.

Goddess, she was nervous.

How long had it been since she had had a date? Maybe back then when she was in college. It didn’t work out that time, that was the truth.

What was she even thinking when she thought about trying again?

“Oh, Marianne!”

And her voice was as cheerful and uplifting as it had sounded through the phone. A profuse blush threatened to crawl its way up from her neck to her cheeks. Her knees betrayed her lack of confidence, buckling on their own. She walked to her, still. Slow, yes, but steady. Hilda had no such reservation, as her strides were quick and powerful. She was beautiful, as beautiful as she seemed in the pictures Claude had shoved under her nose.

No.

She was even more beautiful.

Oh, she thought, goddess, help her. Marianne was powerless over a gorgeous woman.

“Hey, hello…” She tried to smile but was unsure she could even muster a grin. Her stomach was churning and her mouth dry. The nervous feeling in her chest getting the best of her.

“Thank you for going out with me tonight!” Hilda stretched her hand, her skin was smooth and warm, surprisingly rough in her fingertips, however. “I promise we’ll have a great time.” She winked, motioning her to follow her through the sea of people that started to swarm around them as the weather invited all of them to a Friday night out. Early spring brought a chill but a promise in the changing season as well. Marianne nodded and swallowed, letting her feet take her behind her despite her mind barely keeping up.

She had caught the faintest scent of her perfume, sweet and enticing.

Maybe even the goddess helping her wouldn’t be enough.

“So, Claude said that you liked sushi!”

“Oh, yes.”

“There’s this amazing sushi place. We can have dinner there, what do you think?” Her black coat seemed to be tailored for her, maybe it was, favoring her figure and making it come to life every time she swirled. Marianne found she was mesmerized by the folds in the sides and the buttons open. “Marianne?”

“Ah. Uh… I mean, yes! I’d love that.” She blinked quickly, coming back to her senses and looking for Hilda’s eyes.

It wasn’t the smartest of her decisions.

Her mouth was dry once more and she felt as if drinking a river wouldn’t be enough to quench her thirst.

Hilda seemed entertained by her lapsus. Marianne cleared her throat, her blushing crawling now from her neck to her cheeks. They had walked maybe ten meters together and exchanged little more than six sentences. She was sure that hers had been barely coherent.

She feared she wouldn’t make it to the end of the night without making a fool of herself.

“That’s great!” She winked again and Marianne no longer feared it, she was sure she wasn’t going to make it to the end of the night. “We can keep it short. I know your work is a lot…” Hilda slowed down enough for Marianne to catch up with her, to walk side by side.

“Oh, no, no. It’s fine, really.” Her braids were hot in her head, her brown open coat flapped as their steps speeded and their strides were more purposeful. She was a good ten centimeters taller than Hilda if her calculations were correct. Her shoulders maybe at her eye level. She knew it by looking at her from the corner of her eye.

She felt so small next to her still, so unsure and inadequate.

And so very intrigued.

“It must be a lot being a doctor, right?” Hilda was looking at her, she had kept her hands gripping her purse, a beautiful smile lightening her face. Marianne couldn’t know that her grip was a tight one as she feared her hands would betray her, trying to hold the one’s from her date.

Not yet.

Not quite yet.

“It is, but it isn’t…” She looked through the sea of people looking for the horizon, covered by a purple night illuminated by the street lights and the cars that went by on the street. “I like it, I like helping people even if sometimes it takes a toll on me… I think it’s a good way to spend my days.” Marianne looked back at her, there was something she couldn’t quite place in Hilda’s face but it warmed her belly nonetheless.

Something similar to admiration.

“I think it’s amazing…” She smiled, and her smile was yet again different, changing and shifting as Marianne looked at her. Hilda blinked, her expression a decided one. “It’s over here. Let me treat you tonight, for the service you do for all of us!” Hilda grabbed her by the sleeve of her coat, gently tugging her away from the crowd toward one of the restaurants that aligned alongside the street. Marianne didn’t have the chance to answer before she was through the glass doors and inside an environment where the street noises were deafened by soft music and unintelligible idly chatting.

She blinked a couple of times, her eyes adjusting to the change of light, following the gentle guiding of Hilda’s hand as she kept tugging her. It was warm. Hot even. Marianne followed her like a lighted torch in the night. At the counter there was a young man looking at a monitor and smiling at the newcomers.

“Hello! Table for two?” Hilda asked, letting go of her and leaning forward the counter. Marianne realized she was standing on her toes to be comfortable speaking to the young clerk.

She smiled, endeared by the gesture.

The man, in a neat black and white uniform, sported a professional smile as he nodded and asked them to follow him. By when they arrived at the little, yet cozy table at the back of the restaurant, her eyes were picking up every detail and her right arm itching for the touch she was now missing from Hilda. She was warm, the dining hall several degrees hotter than the street, and she took off her coat, her vision still covertly on Hilda.

If her coat was a piece of art, the shirt underneath was a paint that a master would’ve loved to claim theirs.

Marianne found out, as well, that Hilda’s shoulders and back seemed fairly muscular. It meant that it ran in her family or that she worked out frequently.

It also meant that she was strong, maybe strong enough for her hands to pick her up. Strong enough to carry her weight at ease.

She reeled in her thoughts. That wasn’t a line she’d like to continue. Marianne busied herself with her coat and her purse. She’d have time to let herself think about it later when she had a better grasp of who Hilda was other than her enticing perfume, her beautiful smile, her cheerful voice, and her newly found strong physic.

Her throat closed itself just by that train of thoughts.

Marianne would need to tell Ingrid that everything was going ok for now.

Hilda looked at her as she took her seat. She was a mystery for Marianne to unravel. Marianne was a treasure for Hilda to discover and map.

“You know, it’s a pity Leicester’s cuisine doesn’t really make it to Adrestria…” Hilda commented, eyeing quickly the menu as she decided what to ask for the two of them. When Marianne tried to pick hers she grabbed it, a confident smile that flashed white and pink and seemed like a whirlwind she wouldn’t dare to look away from. “It’s my treat, I told you! Just let me know what you’d like to drink and I’ll take care of the rest!”

“I wouldn’t want to bother you…”

“It’s no bother, I swear!” She let her elbows rest on the table and her chin rested in her joined hands. “You can repay me another day.” She smiled. Marianne realized she was starting to get addicted to it.

“Oh… If you’re sure… So you lived in Adrestria?”

“Enbarr, yes. A long time, actually. My family is from Leicester and I was born here. I even lived in Derdriu for a couple of years when I was a kid! But you never know where life may take you, right?” Hilda motioned a waitress to get her attention and place an order quickly. She asked for an awful number of things, Marianne thought.

She was hungry, but she was human after all. There was a limit to what she could eat.

Curiosity was bubbling up now from her chest, displacing her natural shyness as she raised an eyebrow in a silent question. Hilda didn’t seem to pick up her amusement, as she kept telling her how she’d been back to Derdriu for a couple of months already and happy to be back at the Alliance.

Their beverages were at the table in no time, the waitress thanked them for their patience and assured them that their order would follow soon. Marianne had a sip of her cold tea and wrote a short text to Ingrid.

Hilda was telling her now about her life in Enbarr and, in all honesty, she could hear her all day.

Marianne laughed gently when she described to her what the Adrestrians had the nerve to call sushi. Her giggling was covered by her right hand. Her eyes closed. Her eyebrows rose as she imagined the dish Hilda was describing.

It was a good thing, or maybe not that good as she was missing Hilda letting her jaw hang at the sight.

The shorter woman found her glass of water and had a long sip from it.

She wasn’t a religious woman, but if there was a goddess above she had granted Marianne with such a beautiful smile that she felt blessed by seeing it at least once.

“So… I’m sorry, I talked a lot…” Hilda tapped the table with her fingers, trying to connect her thoughts again into coordinate and cohesive sentences. “I’d love to hear a bit more about your days!”

“Oh, it’s ok. I like listening to stories from other places.” Marianne sobered up, the nervous feeling completely gone from her chest, her shyness vanished and her interest making her tilt forward as she heard every word as if they were the most captivating stories Hilda could tell her.

The shorter woman smiled and relaxed a little, opening her mouth to ask her date an open question hoping to gain a bit more insight from her, but was interrupted by their waitress, balancing a huge tray in her hands. She skillfully placed enough plates to feed three or four people at the table, occupying so much space that Marianne had to take her glass and put it at the very edge of the table. The sheer amount of food left her speechless, as Hilda smiled and thanked the waitress who was either used to eccentric customers or very professional, with a polite bow and a reminder that they could call her whenever needed.

“Uh…” Marianne looked toward the whole assessment of plates and the main courses at the table, somewhat grateful that all of them could be picked up by hand as she was sure she wouldn’t be able to use a fork and a knife “Maybe if I had a scalpel…” she mindlessly thought, just watching Hilda smile and open her arms in an invitation.

“Come on now, I know it looks like a lot but sushi isn’t the most filling meal around. Please do eat! I find it delicious!” The pink-haired woman waited for Marianne to grab a piece and try it, smiling harder at how her face opened up in a delighted surprise by the taste, before grabbing her own food and eating as well.

But eating wasn’t the right word.

Marianne plucked a piece of sushi into her mouth in silence, looking at the display before her, unsure if she should marvel or worry.

There was a method, Hilda ate with proper manners and had time to add little phrases, small talk that Marianne could answer easily, never stopping taking notes in her mind. There was a method, there were manners, there was order there.

But she ate fast.

It was almost as she was gulping her food down, wolfing it in a way that made it look correct and polite, yet the food disappeared from her hands in less than the blink of an eye.

Soon, as Marianne was still eating through the first two sets of dishes she had in front of her, Hilda had made disappeared half of the food at the table.

“I suppose it wasn’t that much food after all.” She thought, wondering if the size of the table was what had fooled her into thinking they wouldn’t be able to finish it.

In the back of her mind, she knew it wasn’t the case.

“I feel a bit guilty…” She said after swallowing an especially tasty bite of a plate of shrimps and rice. Hilda looked at her, both of her eyebrows raised a silent question that adorned her beautiful pink eyes.

They seemed electric in the dim light of the restaurant.

Marianne had to make a conscious effort to remember what she was about to say.

“You put so much thought into this… I should’ve thought about something.” She explained, grabbing her tea for a quick sip to wet her lips and regain her speaking abilities.

“Oh, it’s fine! It was me the one that asked Claude for this… it’s the least I could do.” She said. It was the first time she had stopped eating since the food arrived, just focusing on her date in front of her.

Marianne blushed, her shyness back as her heart hammered her ears as runaway horses.

“I… thank you.” She managed to say, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she averted her eyes from her. Hilda blushed, slightly, at the gesture. “It’s a lot of work, I’m grateful for it.” Marianne didn’t know yet, but she’d learn later, Hilda didn’t like to work just because. She was very selective with where she’d put her effort into.

She would learn, later, that she wouldn’t see that side of Hilda that much because she felt compelled to work for her, to be her best for her.

To impress her so Marianne would love her as Hilda was starting to.

Claude would tell her, however, that Hilda didn’t like working extra. Claude wouldn’t tell her that he was impressed that her friend had gone to such extends in their date. He’d just celebrate after disconnecting the call in the park he had been running in, screaming at the top of his lungs as people looked at him.

Instead of saying anything else, Hilda smiled, softly, gently, and muttered an “Of course” that was almost lost to the idle conversation around them.

Marianne knew the only reason she didn’t reach out to her was the absurd number of dishes in between them.

* * *

“So, you designed them?” They were walking through one of the biggest avenues of Derdriu, still bustling in activity despite the late hour. They had to avoid the usual merry drunks that would laugh and hug each other, tripping around as they held onto their bottles.

This time their strides were calmed and in synch, there was no destination to arrive at, just the journey and the experiences they could share through it.

Marianne had been asking Hilda about her line of work, not surprised when she said she worked in designing and crafting, her first thoughts about her shirt and coat had been true, as Hilda had designed them specifically for her.

“In a way, I like crafting things, you know? I like it more than wearing them” She walked by her side, relaxed and content, her hands in her pockets and her cheeks pink, her hair seemed to play with the breeze as it flew and returned in a graceful wave that had to be magical.

Or at least a gift to look at.

“How come?” Marianne enjoyed the noise of Hilda’s heels next to her. She was sure to keep her hands to her purse, her chest filled with emotions she had still to process.

“Oh, you know, I think that things by themselves are beautiful. But when somebody wears them, they just… come to life” She moved her hands, still in her coat, to explain herself. “Things are made to be used and honor their user and not the other way around.”

“That’s a nice thought…” They stopped at a red light, cars lazily cruising the street, drivers ready to avoid a tipsy pedestrian that could trip into their way. “But… don’t you feel proud of what you create?”

“I wouldn’t think it’s the same. I try to do my best when I create something, but it’s still an object. My real reward comes when somebody gives it life.” The light changed and they started their slow wandering with no destination again. Hilda drew her left hand from her pocket to gesture with it freely. “That person will give it a name, a story, they’ll create memories around that little piece of craft. That’s my reward, that’s what I’m after-“ Her words died in her throat as Marianne, very shyly, yet braving her own racing heart, hooked her index and middle finger in Hilda’s hand.

They shared a minute of silence as they looked at the ground, blushing profusely.

Marianne felt her phone vibrating in her purse and knew exactly who it was. She had texted Ingrid to pick her up about an hour ago, asking her to take it slowly. And now, her friend and roommate must have arrived nearby and was looking for her. She used her left hand, the one free, to get her phone and unlock the screen, a message of Ingrid with her location turned on right there. She typed quickly, sending Ingrid her location pin and stopping her slow strides.

“You have to go?” Hilda tugged at her by their joined fingers. Her voice was small, so different at the beaming ray of confidence that had been through the whole night. There was a bit of disappointment there.

“Yeah… I don’t want to make Ingrid wait. I… I really enjoyed our night.” She said, shoving her phone in her pocket and offering her an apologetic smile.

“So did I…” Hilda bit her lip, unsure how to follow up the conversation. How to fill those last minutes or seconds they had to share before their date got to an end. Her thumb ran gently across Marianne’s palm. “Uh…” How unbecoming of her to be so shy and unsure. She was the daughter of a chieftain and had shown the world already how decisive and powerful her actions could be when she was barely a teenager. She braved her turbulent feelings, chastising herself for acting like a lovestruck fool after a single date. “Marianne… would it be ok for me to ask you out again?”

That wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t charming, or perfect, or even romantic. But, hey, at least it was cohesive.

Marianne’s smile, however, was something else.

Hilda was sure her jaw was hanging now. She was powerless to change that fact.

She, in fact, didn’t care at all at that moment.

“Yes. I’d love to go out on a date with you again, Hilda.” She said, her soft voice silk in her lips and fire in Hilda’s ears. She managed to smile, however.

She didn’t know how she managed, but she did, and that was what mattered, right?

“Great! I have your phone number, is it ok if I text you or call you?” She drew her closer by her fingers, delighted to feel them curling and squeezing hers.

“Of course, I’m not the best at answering though… Sometimes I forget my phone in my locker.”

“I can wait, your job is more important than me sending you silly messages.” What had she just said? Hilda wasn’t sure and she wasn’t eager to find out.

Marianne giggled again, so it couldn’t have been that bad. She hoped for the best, at least.

In her pocket, her phone vibrated again. It was a message of Ingrid, she could read her friend’s entertained voice behind it “Look to your left” it read. Marianne did and saw her friend’s car, and the same friend driving and a huge smile on her face.

“I have to go.” Marianne let Hilda’s hand go, gifting her a last smile and a beautiful sight of her hazel eyes, before starting to walk backward. Her date waved at her, her grin wide and hopeful. Hilda watched as Marianne waved at her once more before getting in the car and leaving. Her strides back home were unsure, hesitant, she felt like she was walking on the air.

Her hands in the pockets of her coat burrowed deeper still.

She stopped, rocking in her heels and toes.

She was smiling so hard at the ground she knew it had been a good date.

Her light heart agreed.

* * *

“I haven’t seen you this invested in years, Hilda.” Dorothea looked at her friend from her side of the couch. Hilda was pacing around their apartment, dodging piles of clothes, crafting materials, Dorothea’s old scripts, and other numbers of things she didn’t care about. She could see her path clear in her mind, the scent of both of them showing exactly what belonged to who and how to avoid what wasn’t hers.

“Thea, she was so… I can’t explain it, ok?” She stepped over some of her discarded fabrics, not even looking at them. “She was so beautiful and calm, and her voice is so nice, and her smell... ugh Thea her smell!”

“Ok, I get it. She put a spell on you even when you were the one that asked for that date.” Dorothea hugged her legs as she rested her chin on her knees, rather entertained by Hilda’s panicking. “I support you a hundred percent, you know that.” Hilda stopped to look at her, picking up her tone and recognizing she wanted to ask her something.

“What is it?”

“The driver of your date, that cute blond girl… do you know anything about her?”

Hilda smiled, and there was something off in that smile.

Something canine.

Oh, yes, they were screwed.

But they’d deal with the consequences later.


	2. There’s tea for four (or, I like you, ok?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, me too.” That was a lie, she needed a coffee for the love of everything that was sacred to keep going through that night. She was sure she was sweating and making a fool of herself. A gorgeous songstress calling her cute? Yes, that wasn’t something she had ever mentally prepared for. She needed a heads up, a memo, a text to let her know that train was coming her way.
> 
> Ingrid wasn’t sure that would’ve actually helped, but at least she could’ve tried.

Love was hard to come by, even harder to recognize, and almost impossible to grasp in time. She knew it.

She had experienced it at a certain extent.

She feared it, as well.

Overall, she knew how rare it was to find the right person, to see a partner inside a person that seemed compatible.

Yet she couldn’t help her smile when her phone vibrated and the messaged popped up on her screen. She felt lucky Ingrid was so strict while she drove and never took her eyes off the road, or she would’ve seen Marianne's goofy smile opening up in her face like a flower that bloomed early in spring.

“Good morning! Good luck today saving lives!”

Marianne would sport that goofy, big smile, for the rest of the day.

She typed an answer quickly, her morning grogginess fading away. The smell of coffee filling the car and Ingrid’s usual mumbling about traffic in her ears. It was a normal morning, an everyday morning. She’d get to the hospital and wave her friend goodbye, go through her day barely remembering to have her lunch, looking at her phone absently when the day slowed down, before shoving it to the bottom of her pockets as patients arrived once more and she was thrown into the frenzy that were the afternoons.

She’d text Ingrid to tell her to go home by her own if she was to keep doing extra hours.

A usual morning, yes.

But with a text from Hilda on her phone. It changed everything by the light it shone through her life in unexpected ways. It made her daily activities seem alive, highlighted by something so new and foreign that she almost missed how much she had lacked that kind of relationship.

Almost.

It had been like that since their date, some days ago.

They’d text each other from morning to afternoon, until the late of the night when Marianne fell asleep cradling the device in her hands. They’d talk about the most ordinary things, food, books, weather, their daily routines. Marianne was discovering what Hilda liked, what she was fond of, what she looked forward to every day.

Simple things.

Little details.

She loved Derdriu’s cuisine, she liked listening to the radio when she was working. She was rather more creative at night than in the mornings.

She wanted to see Marianne again.

“Aren’t you in a good mood?” That wasn’t a question and Ingrid’s voice was anything but playful. Marianne swallowed and looked at her friend. They had stopped at a red light and Ingrid was looking at her, her hands on the steering wheel, a sly smile on her lips.

“I… I suppose.” Marianne could try and play dumb with Ingrid, tell her that she wasn’t that invested or that she hadn’t been giggling at Hilda’s goofy texts when the coffee maker was boiling and Ingrid busied herself next to her looking for their cups at their counter. She could tell her that it wasn’t serious or lie to both of them. She could pretend that what the sweet, soft butterflies in the bottom of her belly did to her every time Hilda’s name appeared on her screen or in any conversation wasn’t undermining whatever little resistance she could try to oppose that feeling.

She could.

Ingrid raised an eyebrow, her smile growing by the second with no ill intention behind.

She couldn’t.

“I’d like to see her again, I think.” That was a demure statement, but it was a start. Ingrid wouldn’t press her for more, she knew the best way to get something out of Marianne was giving her the space to explain it. Instead, she nodded and changed gears, the green light inviting them to continue their way.

“That’s a good sign. So, when are you two having a second date?” Her green eyes were back again at the road, driving skillfully through the morning traffic, the reusable cup of coffee next to the shift stick secure in its hold, her hand strong as she changed from second gear to third without thinking about it.

“I’m not sure… she was so thoughtful in our first one, I wouldn’t want to invite her out without having something prepared… something as equally grand, at least.” Marianne scrolled through her phone, looking at the endless stream of messages they had sent each other, hoping for a clue to appear before her so she could break the stalemate she had gotten herself in alone.

“To be honest, if she likes you and wants to see you again, I think whatever will be ok.” Ingrid, in a bold move for her usual strict driving style, used her right hand to take a sip of her coffee. “You can ask her too, you know? It isn’t like you need to just prepare a surprise like this was your first-year anniversary or something…” Ingrid entered the parking lot for the hospital personnel and parked before looking at Marianne, or better, the entertained look her friend was giving her. “What?”

“You’re always so pragmatic.” Marianne’s smile was open now, the small space inside the car was an extension of their house and, as such, a place where she could be whoever she wanted to be, completely honest and true to herself.

Ingrid was many things, but she was first of all her friend, her closest friend.

“Is that your way to tell me I’m not a romantic at all or that I get stuff done?” Ingrid unfastened her seatbelt and gave her a fake stern expression. “I’ll remember that.”

Marianne giggled and unfastened her own seatbelt, getting out of the car and ready for the day.

“I’ll buy you some cookies to make up for it.” She said, as Ingrid opened the trunk and retrieved her backpack, her jacket, and cap for her day at driving the ambulance.

“Yeah, yeah. Chocolate chips cookies if you will.” The blonde closed the trunk with a loud thud, looking at the metal under her hands as her expression changed, once more. “Marianne, tell her you want to see her again, don’t let it slip away from you.” Her voice was serious, it sobered her up as her own backpack hung from her shoulder and anchored her to reality.

“I… I will. Thank you, Ingrid.”

* * *

The market was as busy as always, a sunny morning and the promise of a warm sun in the sky had drawn people out, clothed in light jackets and warm pants, some still clinging to winter scarves to brave the chill spring wind. Marianne was used to the cold, raised under the unfazed profile of the Edmund’s mountains. The wind would come from the frozen white top of the mountains, biting as a cruel animal every inch of skin in the mornings when she was small, braving the seasons with the courage she had never credited to herself.

Her jacket light and black, a beautiful contrast to her skin, was open as her yellow sweater was more than enough to fight those last cold spring days.

Hilda, on the contrary, seemed comfy with her red scarf and her rather heavy coat on her shoulders. Her pink hair was free and it moved gracefully when the wind blew through the market and the crowd. She shivered each time it did, kicking the ground with her heeled boots and cursing deciding on leggings and a skirt.

Marianne thought she looked gorgeous. She giggled when Hilda pouted at her and how she defied the wind with her jacket open and her neck exposed.

“I don’t understand why spring has to be so cold…” Hilda scooted closer to her, looking for warmth in her slender frame.

“How about you walk with me, then?” Marianne asked, not really waiting for an answer. The taller woman, with a shy smile, hugged her by her shoulder, keeping Hilda close and shielding her from the cold that made the shorter woman tremble. Marianne wanted to say something more, but her mouth had gone dry, so she decided to keep her eyes in the small store before them, cute erasers she would never use in fear of ruining them. To be fair, she wasn’t really paying attention to them. They had made their way lazily through the open booths and little stores in the open Saturday market, not buying anything but commenting on all the little things they found adorable but wouldn’t need in their lives.

Hilda, who Marianne had learned, tended to be talkative, remained in silence as well, as she, slowly, hugged her by her waist to bring her just a bit closer.

They were both aware of what they looked like to whoever watched them walking like that.

Was it a bad thing?

Marianne didn’t know.

Was it forbidden?

Hilda knew the answer to that.

She got closer still.

Their steps were in sync as they walked together dogging slow walkers and small clusters of people talking. Marianne needed some steps more to find her voice, buried deep in her chest right next to her hammering heart.

“Would you like to have lunch with me?” She asked, her voice small, so much that Hilda heard her just because of how close they were walking. It didn’t matter, her voice was soft, low, sometimes weak. Her actions spoke for her, and they did it in volumes. She had reached out for the shorter woman for them to meet again, she had reached out to bring her closer and let herself be spellbound by her presence, she was now reaching out and trying to ask just for a bit more of her time.

Hilda smiled and nodded, her shivering gone, her pout forgotten, her blush as bright as the day over them. The truth was that she had lost her voice in the thundering waves of her heart rising and falling as she felt Marianne next to her.

She was so screwed.

So very powerless.

She still could hear Dorothea’s laugh when she saw her making her way through their apartment in her four legs and her very frowned eyebrows, or at least as frown as she could muster in her wolf form. Hilda had shaken herself, clearly offended, as she went to the bathroom to start the long and exhausting process to turn herself back into a human form. So much energy wasted on a Saturday morning just because she had gotten excited in her sleep for the perspective of a nice date. How unbecoming for her. To her further dismay, Hilda had failed to care as she should have, too excited still at the prospect of this beautiful woman asking her out for a second date. Her breakfast had been a hearty one, trying to compensate for the energy spent transforming, but it had left her weak and cold.

Weak to Marianne’s engulfing, sweet scent. At the mercy of her inviting arm around her.

“You’d like sushi again?” Marianne’s voice brought her back to reality, they had reached the limit of the big square that was used as a market and there was a limit of times they could cruise through it looking at the same booths. Hilda blinked, aware again of how close they were walking, how comfortable her hand rested in Marianne’s waist, how close her face was.

“If you don’t mind…” She heard herself saying, her voice summoned without her permission. It was fair, she wasn’t sure her brain would be more coherent than that.

“Of course not.” Marianne smiled and tugged her toward the sidewalk, where the flow of people started to decrease to normal and cars cruised alongside it. The street wasn’t the busiest one, as Derdriu’s downtown seemed to slow down and slumber on weekends. Marianne knew this and had decided it would be a place as private as any other. The wind had stopped as they walked through tall buildings and old structures, and now Hilda’s body didn’t tremble against hers, but it was warm and comfortable. The woman bit her lower lip, thinking her actions through before letting go of her shoulder with a soft smile. Hilda raised an eyebrow but didn’t complain at the sudden lack of warmth and proximity, her mind racing back again instead of the fuzzy, slow-moving feeling she had been under her protection. She breathed in deep, picking up so many different scents and smells that would’ve stunned a normal human being.

She, however, wasn’t a normal human being,

And what she was doing was so oh very dangerous.

As her brother would say, despite her laziness, she was surprisingly reckless.

Hilda was happy, however, and that outweighed every fear, every risk. She was happy, and something more.

But she could live without telling herself that yet.

Instead, she looked for Marianne’s hand and took it in an attempt to go back to that fuzzy state where her mind wouldn’t supply her quickly with the right answer and her chest would be light and cloudy. Her date complied without looking at her, but a cute blush colored her cheeks and part of her ears.

Her fingers intertwined with hers.

Oh it was so very dangerous.

Hilda knew.

She walked next to her, finding in her silly topics to fill in the silence, telling her about her favorite materials to work with, her favorite pieces to construct.

The two of them letting themselves be lured and caught by a trap they wouldn’t be able to escape once it was tight and secure.

Again, they failed to care.

* * *

“I’m not sure, Mari…” Ingrid scratched the back of her head, her flannel shirt sleeves rolled up to her elbows. “I know you like this girl a lot, but I haven’t met this Dorothea…”

Marianne passed her a couple of clean, dry dishes, so Ingrid could store them in the low cabinets in their kitchen.

“I know, and you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Hilda was rather… persistent.” She took a couple of cups from the dishwasher and repeated the process, Ingrid was quick in placing them in a high shelf right over where they stored their coffee and tea. “I can tell her that you didn’t want to. We can still go together later, I’d love for you to know her better and give me your honest opinion.”

“Is this your way to ask for my approval?” Ingrid crossed her arms and rested her hip against the counter in the narrow yet long kitchen they shared. Two people could walk through it if they were willing to be really close, and it was perfect for talking face to face as Ingrid and Marianne were doing.

The doctor closed the dishwasher and looked at her, a sight trapped in her lips. It was part of the truth. Despite everything she knew, Ingrid’s approval would be something else. Even if Hilda was Claude’s friend, she was feeling again as a teenager who didn’t know what to do with all these feelings she was discovering. Everything so new, everything so raw, so strong.

So overpowering.

She had realized, once she got older, that feelings never truly stopped to be that strong and raw, but that she had learned to deal with them at a better pace.

She also had realized that keeping true to yourself was the best way to go about them.

“Yes. You know it is. I trust you, Ingrid.”

Her friend smiled, her short hair wild and barely kept by a quick, messy ponytail.

“I can’t say no when you ask me that…” Ingrid motioned her to let her pass, keeping her hands on her shoulders to make it through to the door and the living room they used as well as the dining room in their apartment. “I’ll go, let’s see what this Dorothea is about.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Anything for you, Mari. Now, help me get the trash out.” She pointed to the bags they had piled up at their door. Marianne’s smile didn’t diminish. She could take care of a couple of trash bags, she did so much worse at her work.

And it was Sunday, their cleaning day.

She followed Ingrid and stepped over their tiny, diligent Roomba, to grab a couple of the bags as Ingrid grabbed the rest.

“So, this Dorothea…”

“Yes?”

“What is she like?”

“Hilda sent me pictures, I’m sure you’ll like to see them.”

“Oh.”

* * *

Dorothea liked many things. She liked the green and red stones Hilda had used to make her earrings. She liked the little cute illustrations in her notebooks, the ones she used to take notes about her roles, and the best way to embody them. Or, sometimes, just a quick note about what they were missing in their kitchen.

She liked chicken better than beef.

She liked her red velvet dress despite not having lots of chances to wear it.

She had really liked the blonde woman that had driven Marianne that Friday night a couple of weeks ago. Hilda hadn’t supplied much information about her, which was fine, she supposed. Dorothea couldn’t ask her friend to ask her date about other girls. And Marianne had been kind enough as to talk about Ingrid.

Ingrid.

Such a beautiful name.

Dorothea liked many things, yes, and she was about to find out she’d like this Ingrid way more than she had supposed at the beginning. But there was a thing she didn’t like and she had to deal with.

Herself.

Or rather, the amount of hair she could shed in a single day.

The songstress sighed as she cleaned her hairbrush again for the third time that day. One of the downfalls of not being completely human, alongside the extra thousand calories she had to eat per day at least and waking up as a wolf from time to time. All thanks to her shitty father, of course.

She swore he was the most useless man she hadn’t even met.

At least the one waking up in unusual shapes wasn’t usually her but Hilda, who would make her way in a very bad mood toward her bathroom, occasionally snarling at her for laughing at the peculiar sight of a pink canine with her tail down and her ears flat. She looked at her reflection and applied a bit of mascara, not too much, she didn’t want to overdo it. She preferred to keep a low profile and just see how everything played out.

Her reflection smiled back at her, confident and dominant. She was ready.

She had a lady to please tonight, she hoped.

“Thea, you ready?” Hilda called from the hallway. Dorothea stood up quickly and made her way through the floor covered in clothes, suitcases and purses with grace. Hilda was pacing around their living room, another testimony of the chaos their apartment looked like to someone whose best sense wasn’t smell. The brunette grabbed a purse from the floor, the one she was using that night, and winked at her friend.

“Well, of course, darling. You look fantastic by the way.” She teased, pointing at her hair tied up on an intricate pattern and the beautiful necklace she was wearing. Hilda smiled as she shook her head.

“Save that for your own date. Who’s driving? I don’t think I’m having alcohol tonight.”

“You always say that and then always have a cup or two…” She opened her purse and saw the package of wet wipe Kleenex there. “You can drive, I don’t want to clean the whole car just before we’re leaving if anything I’ll do it later…”

Hilda rolled her eyes, but grabbed the keys and smacked her playfully in her shoulder. “Let’s go, I have the feeling Ingrid doesn’t think being late is fashionable. I know Marianne doesn’t.” Their building was an old one, with no elevators to move them around as they took the stairs and kept talking in a low voice.

“A lady is never late, she arrives precisely when she means to.”

“You need to stop watching The Lord of the Rings. It’s good, but nothing can be _that_ good with no lesbians in it.”

“Hush, Hilda dear, I’m always surprised by the lack of appreciation for that masterpiece despite your kin eye to art.”

“I didn’t get imprinted on it when I was seven, that’s all I’m going to say…” Hilda held the door open toward the parking lot, letting Dorothea go through in a motion that was repeated and mirrored by their dates in their own home kilometers away. “In any case, it’s been a while since we went out on a double date, hasn't it?”

“Don’t remind me of the last one, please. That guy thought he actually had a chance at the end of the night…” Dorothea opened the passenger’s door, easing herself in with the grace of a queen. She fastened her seatbelt and waited for Hilda to get in her side before continuing to speak. “And that lady that fancied you? She had the nerve to suggest I should go to church again…”

“Yeah, that wasn’t the best one.” Hilda turned on the car and asked Dorothea to help her rearrange the mirrors. The songstress got a Kleenex and used it to move the little right mirror until her friend had the best view out of it she could get. “But this one it's going to be different!”

“Well, I sure hope so. It’s been rather lonely since starting in Derdriu and you going out to see your fair lady.” The dramatic flair was something Dorothea couldn’t control, she refused to, and Hilda was already used to it. She cocked an eyebrow as she drove through the light traffic of a Saturday afternoon.

“Drama queen.”

“Your queen, but still…” Dorothea cleared her throat. “It’s been lonely. I miss Edie and the rest of the clans. I love it here, but it’s…“ She didn’t finish, she didn’t need to.

“Hey, it’s ok. You… You’d like to go back?” It hadn’t been their idea, really. There were traditions she couldn’t go against, there were instincts she had to rationalize and accept from time to time. This was one of them. Dorothea’s smile was sad and yet hopeful. She shook her head.

“Let’s give it a shot, this can turn into something interesting.” And just like that, with a flick of her hair, Dorothea Arnault was yet again the imposing woman that could captivate the scenery with a single word, a single gesture.

A right step under the spotlight of the greatest theater in the capital.

Hilda looked at her from the corner of her eye, before nodding and keeping the car steady toward their goal. She felt like she knew Derdriu now better than she did when she used to live there so many years ago. Maybe because she had allowed herself to wander through the city with no destination in mind and no time to go back. She wasn’t a kid anymore and her time was her own to decide how to spend.

And, of course, she had looked up the map of the city thinking about new places to take Marianne, new paths to discover with her, new landscapes to frame her beautiful face in gold and orange and red when the sun was setting. Her fingers dug into the steering wheel as she thought about it. Suddenly whatever Dorothea was saying lost to her.

She knew those days would be gone at some point, she had the feeling that they’d turn into lazy afternoons, or cruising through open markets, holding hands through a hot summer, sharing hot cocoa in the cold afternoon autumn nights.

Staying close under the blankets in frozen winter mornings.

Hilda was blushing hard and Dorothea had noticed, cocking an eyebrow and smiling hard.

She was so screwed.

“Hilda…”

“I know.”

“You don’t need to clutch the steering wheel that hard.” She joked, tilting forward to get a better look at her face.

“I’m going to crash if you joke about this.”

“And miss a date with your beautiful Marianne?”

“She’s a doctor, she can take care of me in the hospital and I’ll be in heaven, between the painkillers and her attention.” She fumbled, stopping at the red light still.

“She’ll be rather surprised at your metabolism.”

“I’ll have my brother come all the way home to sneak food for me. Holst will do it.” Her words escaped through her gritted teeth. Dorothea knew exactly how to get Hilda into a banter in less than three seconds.

“I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Like you’re one to talk.”

“Well, my dearest Hilda, I for one haven’t fallen that hard for a fair lady.”

“Yet.” Her voice was harsher than she intended, but Dorothea took it in her stride, her smile never fading.

“Yet. That’s fair.” She shifted in the seat, facing forward and watching how the streets got narrower and more cars filled them in, everybody rushing into the night fairs that opened on weekends, cutting several streets in downtown. “Love has always been a dangerous affair, hasn’t it?” Dorothea looked at her hands, her fingers naked and bare, despite her love for accessories and ornaments.

The reason was so simple and yet a source of shame, in a way.

“More for us, uh? More for us…” Hilda looked for a space to pull over. Cars were parked close together, it would be harder to find a spot later and their destination near enough as to walk the distance. “Look, at least it can be fun and I haven’t even talked to Marianne that much, not even kissed her. Let’s not worry about things that may never need to be said.” Dorothea nodded and Hilda killed the engine, pulled the handbrake on and unfastened her seatbelt.

Yes, they both had agreed to lie to themselves blatantly.

They’d have to deal with the consequences later.

For now, it was just a night out, a nice fresh spring night they could enjoy to the fullest. Hilda looked at her phone, at the message Marianne had shared with her live location and locked the car with her keys. It was an old car and she had to make sure it was properly locked before joining Dorothea on the sidewalk to start their way, her strides purposeful and quick.

She was anxious, she could recognize that much to herself. She wanted to cross the distance in an instant. She wished to be next to her and just grab her hand, to feel secure and safe and seen next to her in an ocean of people.

Hilda wasn’t ready to recognize to herself what that exactly meant.

“So, are they close?” Dorothea’s heeled steps reverberated even through the waves of people they walked through, now that they had left behind the quietness of the streets in the skirts of the city and had walked right into the pedestrian way bustling with activity. With so many people around, it was impossible for Hilda to find Marianne’s scent and it upset her.

She had such a bright, kind, blue scent that made everything disappear.

“Yeah, they should be just about halfway that block.” Hilda pointed with her chin, locking her phone and shoving it into her pocket. It was hard to see among that many people, more even so when she was rather short, her friend looked that way, her green eyes over the average of the pedestrians in Derdriu’s streets. Her smile was priceless when she spotted the two of their dates waiting for them.

Or, to say the truth, her smile was unique when she saw Ingrid in her green flannel shirt gesturing sideways as she talked to Marianne, completely unaware of their presence.

Yet.

“I see them.” She said, which was a fair short way to say how her stomach was churning at the prospect of spending time alongside that beautiful woman that night.

“Guide the way, then, you tall queen.” Hilda ignored the sly smile in her friend’s face, too busy trying to tell Marianne apart from all the people. They walked a couple of strides more, maybe three or four, when she saw it.

Her heart skipped a beat, she was sure.

Oh, she could deny it to herself, she could wait and beat around it as much as she wanted.

She was so deep in there was no way back and, the longest she took to recognize it to herself, the harder it’d hit her when she realized.

Yet, that spring night was kind to her and it decided to bless Hilda with ignorance and a lovestruck smile that brightened her face and was matched by Marianne’s when she waved at her and walked to find her in an embrace. It made her forget about anything else but the warm arms that engulfed her and the heart beating as fast as hers against her chest, her sensitive ears picking it up and sending her own pulse through the clouds.

On the contrary, that spring night was hard on Dorothea, striking her numb and weak when she saw Ingrid’s curious eyes on hers. She breathed in to regain some of her composure and she was now attacked fully by the woman’s scent, strong and warm, earthy and yet wild.

Oh no.

Oh _goddess_ no.

She had never had hope to put up a fight, had she now?

“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Dorothea Arnault.” She said, extending her hand for her to shake it. That wasn’t that bad, she could start from there, as Hilda was too busy being hugged by her almost girlfriend to actually introduce her. She’d get back at her later for that, maybe she’d shake her own shedding fur at Hilda’s bathroom doorstep. She could think about it later.

She would think about it later, Ingrid had grabbed her hand and it was a strong one, there were callous there from the steering wheel.

“Nice to meet you, Ingrid, Ingrid Galatea.” Her voice was rich, and a bit low, but feminine. Her rolled-up sleeves let her see a sharp muscle in her forearm. Dorothea feared for a second she’d actually faint by all the stimuli around her. Luckily for her, Marianne had let go of Hilda and was introducing herself with a soft voice and a polite nod. It gave her room to breathe, as Ingrid’s scent got mixed with Marianne’s clearing her head and her nose in a blissful second.

She didn’t need anything else to approve of this girl for her friend already, she had saved her from being a smoking wrecking gay mess.

Dorothea hoped she could last the night.

“So… Would you like us to show you around? I don’t know how much you know Derdriu at this point…” Marianne was kind to ask, Dorothea knew very little and relied heavily on her phone and Hilda to navigate the city. She looked over to her friend, who seemed to have ascended to a heaven she hadn’t been invited. Dorothea cleared her throat, looking at her with her eyebrows raised.

“Oh, uh, Dorothea doesn’t know that much… Is this fair around the old district, right? We could show her around...” Hilda took her left side, looping her arm around Marianne’s as Ingrid naturally fell to her right, looking at her with an indecipherable look in her green eyes.

Oh goddess above.

Dorothea asked for strength, she had wished for something and had been rewarded with so much more she wasn’t sure how she’d take it. But she would.

She swore it on her name she would.

* * *

Ingrid was scratching the back of her head, a habit of hers when she wasn’t sure what to say or how to proceed.

It happened regularly when Marianne asked her what she wanted for dinner, or when Mercie asked her why she had decided to stop at the yellow light even if she had room to cross before the red. It happened when she was asked what her favorite color was and what she liked to do out of driving and working out.

“Women” was the easy answer to that, sadly easy answers sometimes weren’t the appropriate ones.

And it happened now when Dorothea smiled at her and asked her what she thought about their friends being all cute and clumsy and goofy around each other.

Ingrid, however, wasn’t sure at what exactly she was scratching her head to. Marianne seemed so happy when she was around Hilda that she had no complaints. It was clear to anybody that had eyes and was willing to see that both of them adored each other. Hilda had been attentive, nice, and polite to her.

She was sure there wasn’t anything else she could ask from someone who wanted to be a partner to her friends other than their love and respect toward them.

So, Ingrid rationalized in the fraction of a second, it wasn’t that what had her scratching her head. Something else was making her unsure, doubting how to phrase her words in a cohesive, coherent speech she could call hers later and not be ashamed by it.

Dorothea cocked an eyebrow and Ingrid was sure that being that attractive had to be a crime in at least a couple of countries.

It wasn’t Marianne and Hilda’s obviously lovestruck behavior. Then, by elimination process, she had only one option. Dorothea was making her feel uncomfortable. No, that wasn’t quite the word she was looking for. She wasn’t uncomfortable.

It was something else.

Regardless, she closed her hand into a fist and made the conscious effort to lower it to her hip. Then she shoved both of her hands into her jeans.

She bit her lip.

Ingrid needed to answer, her mind supplied, running a process so slowly she wasn’t sure it was running at all.

“I think they look… happy, together.” She said, struggling to find the right words. Dorothea was taller than her, at least a couple of centimeters, and she was aware of it as they walked side by side, giving the pair some privacy a couple of meters ahead.

“That they do, Hilda has clicked quite quickly. It surprised me.” The songstress had a voice that was a pleasure to listen to. Ingrid had wished to hear her more, but hadn’t been able to think of something to say, or a topic to coax her into telling her about her life and about her day.

Whatever that just granted her with the gift of her voice she was sure some people paid to receive.

“Marianne too. I’m happy for her. She seems a lot more confident about this than the first time I dropped her off.”

“Oh, yes. Hilda was so nervous that day too.”

“You were there?”

“In a sense. You and I were the same, Ingrid. I dropped her off for that date. I saw you in that beautiful car of yours.” She winked and Ingrid cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

“I suppose I quite didn’t make an impression, didn’t I? That’s a bit disappointing, I must say. One can’t be a commanding presence in the stage if one can’t capture the attention of a fair lady…” She gestured to the air; in a way, she was able to use all the space around her to work at her favor. Her bare shoulders were soft and round and beautiful.

Ingrid swallowed.

Her mind, however, didn’t connect this with her struggle before.

“No, no, no! I just… didn’t pay attention.” Why was she apologizing? She didn’t know. Dorothea was smiling at her.

Was she laughing at her?

Ingrid had no idea, she suspected she wasn’t going to be able to figure it out on her own.

“I was joking. I’m glad you came today, however.” She winked again and let her hands drop, suddenly all the imposing air around her softened and she was just a woman walking beside her again. What a frightening power to have Ingrid thought. “You’d like some tea? I like to drink it after dinner but we didn’t have the opportunity in that restaurant.” She said as they managed to keep just a couple of meters behind their friends.

“Uh, I suppose I can have some coffee.”

“Coffee? Are you sure in the middle of the night?”

“I drink so much at work that I’m a bit immune to it now.” She shrugged, mussing her hair again, unsure what to do with herself, so conscious of every little move she made.

“I see.” If Dorothea had something else to say, she kept it to herself, instead she tilted forward slightly, just enough for the cleavage of her shirt to drop and show a generous patch of skin that sent Ingrid’s pulse so high she feared for a moment she was going to have a stroke. “Still, I’d love it if you were to have a coffee or a tea with me, Ingrid.”

“Uh…” _Brain, words, please._ “Sure, of course.” She managed to say, making Dorothea’s grin wider.

“Excellent! Maybe we can even get our friends to have some with us!” She grabbed her by the shoulder, unexpectedly strong, making them almost jog those meters to join the soon to be couple. Ingrid let herself be dragged, using her long legs to keep up, her mind drawing a line for a moment.

She wasn’t herself that day, maybe she needed to sleep a bit more.

“Hilda, Marianne, so sorry to interrupt, but what do you say if we get something nice and warm to drink?” Hilda looked at them, a knowing smile as her mind supplied the best places for her tea she knew her friend liked. Marianne tugged her by their linked hands and her hazel eyes spoke to her in a language they were starting to develop and it was for the two of them alone.

Ingrid’s stomach fluttered.

What an incredible thing to witness. She was happy, so happy for Marianne. And confused, so confused with herself.

“Sure thing, there’s a great booth we can order to go near Claude’s job…”

“The one in the Riegan plaza? I know it.” Ingrid’s mind pictured the mental map of Derdriu with absolute clarity, she saw the little store as if it was in front of her. Her job had hammered every street and avenue, every corner and roundabout with astounding clarity.

“Let’s go, then.” Marianne smiled at her, a question in her face. Ingrid nodded, encouraging her to keep walking with Hilda. She deserved to spend more time with her, and she couldn’t complain. Dorothea was a beautiful woman to look at.

So beautiful she had been fidgeting all night around her.

Her green eyes blinked, momentary out of it for a second.

So that was it. Gay panic.

She bit her lips to avoid groaning. Her hands grabbing her thighs through the fabric to avoid hitting her face.

Ingrid wanted a cup of coffee now more than ever. “So, Ingrid, should we follow them?” Correction, she needed a cup of coffee now more than ever. She blinked and looked at Dorothea, nodding as she started their way again. How very common and ridiculous for her to not realize she was gay panicking at the gorgeous woman around her.

And her beautiful voice, her commanding presence, her rich eyes, her long hair…

Coffee, right. Good bitter coffee.

“How is it, your work?” Dorothea was next to her, her hands behind her back, tilting her head while looking at her with those curious, green eyes. Ingrid scratched her nose, giving herself a moment to think of an answer that didn’t put her in evidence.

“It’s… I guess it’s not as exciting as people think. I don’t usually drive through the city skipping red lights and blasting sirens. Most of the time we can actually drive following the traffic regulation…” She said, gesturing with her right hand how she held the wheel and changed gears without realizing, reenacting those everyday actions as she talked about them. Dorothea, however, picked up those little details and something brightened in her face.

“Still it’s a very important job.”

“I suppose… It pays the bills and it allows me to be out in the street. Walls suffocate me.” Dorothea scooted closer to her as they walked through a tight group of people using the whole width of the sidewalk to have their conversation. Ingrid made sure she was next to her, following her, before continuing. “There’s no glamour on it. It’s just me, driving with the paramedics and wearing reflective jackets all the time so no one misses me.”

“I think you’d be hard to miss, even with no reflective jacket on.” Dorothea said and in the dim light of the street lights, the emerald green of her eyes was a treat and shone right alongside her crimson earrings.

Suddenly it was a really hot night.

“Uh…” Ingrid tugged the hem of her shirt away, she needed air and the crowd around them was loud and the environment stuffy. She, also duly noted in the back of her mind, was aroused by this woman that seemed to enjoy getting a reaction from her.

Or at least had tried several times already.

Ingrid wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. She was sure that she reacted to her, nonetheless.

Dorothea chuckled and straightened up, her smile so wide it beamed. “I must apologize, I tend to tease from time to time.”

“Is it a theater thing?”

“One could say that, but I don’t think so. I just think you’re cute, Ingrid.” She said, fully aware that it was an understatement, she was so handsome that Dorothea would think about her that night and cover her blush in the dark of her room rubbing her hands against her face. “I apologize, was that too straightforward?”

“No, no… It’s… It’s fine. I.. Uh… You’re a beautiful woman.” Oh goddess that was a disaster, she was a wreck and she knew it. How had she gone from ok to completely lost in three steps and two meters?

Dorothea laughed, and Ingrid decided she would do better to forget about their lapse, her hands back in her pockets, her face red as she burrowed it between her shoulders. Despite everything, she was smiling.

“So, this place is really close. Just taking the turn here…” Her blonde hair turned alongside her head, as she showed her the way, her voice a little shaky but trying her best to leave everything that had just happened behind.

“Oh, good, I could use something to drink.” Dorothea had mercy on her and didn’t add a comment nor flashed her eyelashes at her, which made walking and breathing easier for Ingrid.

“Yes, me too.” That was a lie, she needed a coffee for the love of everything that was sacred to keep going through that night. She was sure she was sweating and making a fool of herself. A gorgeous songstress calling her cute? Yes, that wasn’t something she had ever mentally prepared for. She needed a heads up, a memo, a text to let her know that train was coming her way.

Ingrid wasn’t sure that would’ve actually helped, but at least she could’ve tried.

Whatever Dorothea had in mind when they turned and the avenue opened into a huge central plaza was lost at the scene they found there. Hilda, good, short Hilda that spent her time making delicate ornaments and complained about carrying the groceries three stores, was in front of Marianne in a stance Dorothea would recognize anywhere.

Oh no.

She hoped she wasn’t snarling or her fangs would be out.

Her green eyes looked for the intruder, the one that had gotten into her territory and had upset Hilda that much. She wasn’t one to be territorial over space, never minding sharing the room around her. That left open only one option, someone had tried to get into Marianne’s personal space without her permission.

If Marianne had just a… yes. Yes, she did. Dorothea could smell it right away, the sour, dry smell of fear mixed with her usual sweet scent. It rose her own anger bubbling up her throat and clenching her fists. That wasn’t good. If that was her reaction, Hilda’s was bound to be much worse.

So much worse.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Ingrid was making her way quickly toward them, her own rich, green scent, mixed with the high spike of rage. Dorothea followed, identifying the offender quickly. A man, not too big, not too menacing, maybe he had decided to show up at the wrong moment.

“Ingrid, nothing, really…” Marianne looked at her friend and felt the weight of her hand in her shoulder as a welcoming anchor.

“Hilda, dear, are you ok?” Dorothea got to her friend quickly, noticing the changes in her appearance, just visible for those who knew what to look for. She didn’t touch her; it’d only make it worse.

“Yes, I’m fine. I was telling this fine gentleman that _my_ girl doesn’t need his company or his money.” She snarled, barely understandable through her clenched teeth.

So it was that kind of man. Dorothea’s grimace was replaced by a condescending grin. “I see, I suppose he was leaving, right?” Her voice was dangerously close to a growl, she didn’t care. There was something so primal in that concealed threat that made humans step back unconsciously. This time it worked again.

The man, young now that she looked at him closer, nodded, and disappeared into the night. The people around them barely noticed the whole scene. The brunette breathed in deep, trying to calm her raging blood, the mixed scent of worry, fear, rage, and relief flooded her nose. It came from all of them at the same time, making her dizzy. Hilda blinked and straightened up; her lips firmly closed in a displeased line. Her anger calming down, her shoulders still trembling but her breathing leveling again.

Dorothea could still see the tip of her fangs barely covered by her lips.

Before she could say anything, however, Hilda turned to look into the girl she had been defending, and her expression softened, her demeanor changed, her eyes turned gentle and kind again. “Mari, are you ok?” Ingrid let go of her friend and stepped back, allowing them some space.

In her green scent, she could still smell the rage and the worry, but Ingrid’s pulse was going back to normal, and she went back to Dorothea’s side, her eyes still in her friend’s silhouette who was nodding at her date.

“Let’s get them something to drink, shall we?” Dorothea tugged her by her wrist, snapping Ingrid from her worried mental state and making her unclench her fists. “I know what Hilda would like, I trust you can order for Marianne, right?”

“Yes.”

“Come on. Hilda won’t let anything happen to Mari, let’s do something nice for our friends.” Dorothea smiled, and it wasn’t a playful smile, but a sincere one.

It was beautiful.

Ingrid looked toward her friend once more before nodding and letting herself be gently guided away from them, toward the little booth where a sleep-deprived clerk tried to keep up with his customer’s orders. As they ordered and waited, talking about what had just happened and the nerve of a guy who believed he could just walk into a couple and ask any of them to join him, they lost the last step their friends took into actually consolidating as a couple.

“I’m sorry…” Marianne had her eyes in their linked hands, somewhat ashamed at being hit on like that by a stranger and reacting that way. She had been scared for a second, enough for Hilda to jump into her defense.

“Hey, it isn’t your fault. It’s that guy's fault for thinking he could be that rude!” Hilda needed to stop thinking about it. If she continued, she may turn right there and that would be a disaster. To say the least.

“Still, I’m sorry our date was ruined by this… I don’t usually get that kind of attention.” Marianne looked up as Hilda’s hands cupped her cheeks, gently guiding her hazel eyes to lock with hers.

“This isn’t your fault. It never was, it never will. You shouldn’t feel guilty about being pretty, you shouldn’t feel ashamed because you caught someone’s attention.” Hilda was talking out of adrenaline, she knew. She was powerless to stop herself. “You have the right to be desired, to be adored, and to be loved. Always.” Her eyes were in Marianne’s, her hands holding her close. She swore if she let go that moment she’d run away, her words born before she could stop to think about them. That wasn’t going to end well. She knew. Oh, Hilda knew it. “And if you would allow me… I’d like for you to give me that chance…”

Oh well. There it went all her plans to have something romantic, give her a beautiful ornament that would flatter her hazel eyes, treat her to the best she could afford, prepare a speech that would blow her away.

She couldn’t go back in time, however. And she couldn’t take back her words, her adrenaline still high for her to care that much.

Marianne’s wide eyes were lost for a second, and then she grabbed her face and kissed her.

Oh we-... Wait.

Marianne was kissing her, her eyes now shut and she was actually kissing her out in the open. It wasn’t a dream, it couldn’t be.

No, dreams weren’t this detailed.

Marianne was kissing her, for real.

Hilda closed her eyes and forgot how to think.

She’d deal with the consequences later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sips Marihilda juice* Yesssssssss......  
>   
> *Looks at the next chapter and sees Dorogrid right alongside Marihilda* YUUUUUSSSSSSS


	3. We’re four, and two, but not the two you think (or, why are you so territorial and clean freaks?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could she be in love with that dork enough to love her through any kind of weather and brave the worst of storms?
> 
> Her heart suspected the answer, but her mind was quick to doubt it. How could she tell? How could she think she was going to even get an answer to that?
> 
> The beating in her chest grew stronger yet.
> 
> Maybe she wouldn’t get an answer, but she could feel the resolution to try it every single day and that, even if she didn’t know it, was the essence itself of loving somebody.
> 
> “Look! Chocolate bars are on sale!”
> 
> Even if that somebody had an appetite that was outside of this world.

Ingrid was resting both her hands and her chin on the steering wheel, eyeing the street distracted as she waited for Mercie and Annie to come back from the huge house they had been called to. It didn’t seem to be a serious case, and maybe they wouldn’t need to go back to the hospital. Yet some people paid for the service and they had to deliver.

Ingrid had a rather displeased pout at the thought.

Her phone vibrated in the compartment next to her shift stick and she looked at it, fully aware she wasn’t supposed to look at it while she was working. She unlocked it and went over her notifications quickly.

She still had to wait for her paramedics, she could review her phone in the meantime and not feel guilty about it.

The windows of the ambulance were down and a sweet breeze gave her some breathing room as spring was slowly but relentlessly turning into summer. She felt it in her neck as she tapped her phone and looked at the messages she had waiting for her attention. Marianne had sent her some silly images that made her smile and she went through them typing a quick reaction.

Sylvain had sent her a message too and she didn’t know if to laugh or frown at it. She decided to tell him that she missed him.

Ingrid looked up, the street empty and Mercedes and Annette nowhere to be seen.

Dorothea’s messages she had blatantly ignored. She wasn’t sure she was ready to shoulder her reaction to the woman even through messages. Ingrid looked up again, her eyes darting around to ensure her privacy, feeling as she was doing something that was utterly forbidden.

Ingrid opened the notifications she had ignored and read Dorothea’s messages quickly, devouring them, before scrolling back and reading them again, stopping at each letter that time. Her fingers ghosted over her keyboard for a second, thinking her answer, before looking up again.

No signs of Mercie or Annie.

Good.

The textbox was still waiting for her to type an answer.

What could she say? There wasn’t anything really interesting to tell. She had driven about ten kilometers, visited two rich houses, and no real emergencies that day. Ingrid bit the tip of her tongue as she thought about it, before typing in something that was closer to a report than to a message to a friend.

Dorothea wasn’t her friend.

Did she want her to be?

Ingrid knew the answer but decided to keep herself in the dark for just a bit longer.

“It seems you’re dead in the water for now,” Ingrid smirked, typing a quick answer. Her eyes were very quick to go from the screen to the street back to the screen.

Ingrid was typing an answer and her smirk turned into a full smile, unknown to her.

Unbeknownst to Ingrid, Dorothea had a full-blown smile at the other end of their conversation that rivaled hers.

“Yeah. Not really doing much…”

“Is it common? For you to just wait at the doorstep of rich people?”

“Some weeks. It’s a service they can pay for.”

“Does it mean that you’re not out there helping people that may need it?” Ingrid straightened up, phone in hand, her right eyebrow up.

“It shouldn’t, but I’d prefer to be waiting for calls from the emergency systems.” She was quick to type it, her interest picked up, waiting as the little dots danced on the screen that let her know Dorothea was writing her answer.

"It sounds like you don't quite like it."

Ingrid snorted. She hated it, of course. People shouldn't have that power to capitalize on emergency systems. It should be available to absolutely everybody.

"I don't." Ingrid stopped, looking at the screen deciding how much she could say without sounding too harsh. She erased the message quickly and opened Marianne's chat. "How hard can I go with my 'I hate rich people capitalizing emergency systems and underpaying people'?" She sent. She'd wait a minute or two.

Then she'd be on her own to decide how much she could say.

To her surprise, however, Marianne was quick to answer. "Just go all the way in, if you talk about it in real life you won't edit yourself. You shouldn't edit yourself."

Okay then, she had sweet Marianne's blessing.

"I don't. I hate it, actually. Emergency systems are for emergencies only. A new department should be put in place for this." Her typing was aggressive, more than she intended, but she hit sent nonetheless and locked the screen, looking around to make sure she was still, in fact, alone. She could feel a blush working its way up through her neck. Ingrid wasn't kin to vomiting her opinions so bluntly on people, but Marianne had said something that it was true.

She shouldn't edit herself. Sooner or later Dorothea would know the true Ingrid and would decide if she wanted to know her more.

Better sooner and save them some time.

Her phone vibrated in her hand and she unlocked it eagerly. The notification made her smile.

"Yes! Prissy rich people! I swear sometimes it gets out of hand!"

Relief was born from the bottom of her belly in waves. They crossed her body as a soothing blessing that left her warm and tingly.

That was good. Yes. That was good.

Ingrid was about to type back an answer when a gentle knock on the window of the windshield made her look up and throw her phone back at the compartment where she had originally taken it from. Mercedes and Annette were smiling at her, Annette seemed intrigued.

Mercedes seemed aware.

Ingrid felt the drops of sweat going down her neck. If Mercedes just suspected what she had been doing she'd never be free. The woman was relentless and to be feared. She'd get every bit of information out of her and would make Ingrid, in such a kind way that it seemed impossible, face her insecurities and fears. Ingrid didn't want to go on a journey of self-discovery. She just wanted to rant about the world's current status with Dorothea who had a beautiful voice and an even more beautiful smile.

No, bad, bad line of thought.

"So, was it something important?" Ingrid asked, leaning toward the door, her elbow on the open window as she tilted on it.

"Nothing serious. We tried opening the back but it was close." Annette was quick to make her way toward the passenger seat, climbing up the ambulance in less than a second. Mercedes looked at her, kind eyes inquisitive and intelligent. Ingrid smiled and stopped herself from swallowing the knot she felt in her throat. She'd talk about it later when there was something to talk about.

Now there were just hopes and infatuations. Nothing real, just card castles that could crumble and collapse in the slightest adversity.

“Okay, that’s good! We can go back and get some lunch, then.” Ingrid gripped the steering wheel a bit more forceful than needed, looking at Mercedes with intention. The woman raised her eyebrows, before opening the side door and getting in, right behind Ingrid. The driver waited to hear the “click” that meant her seat belt was fastened to turn on the engine and start driving, carefully as ever, toward the hospital. She was off the hook for now. 

Ingrid changed gears and nodded to whatever Annette was saying.

She was off the hook for now, but wouldn’t be for much longer. Mercedes had a keen eye to emotional turmoils and a sharp yet gentle way to get everything out of her.

Her knuckles were white, she was holding the steering wheel even harder now than before.

The phone was still buzzing, vibrating with each message she wasn’t reading and answering right away. Ingrid had to make a conscious effort to keep herself from looking into the little device. She had to force herself to hear what Annette and Mercedes were saying regarding their last patient.

A bittersweet taste spread through her tongue and throat as a single, strong idea took shape in her mind and pushed everything else aside. So bittersweet, yet she’d move forward with it.

Ingrid needed to call Marianne, she wasn’t sure she’d wait until the night after work to tell her.

* * *

Hilda spun around as she walked through the supermarket’s hallway. She seemed like a little kid as she looked at the snacks they were to get. Marianne smiled, endeared by her excitement. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever get tired of it. The more she knew about Hilda, the more she liked her. Hilda was prompted to little antics, she would dance in front of her in the supermarket aisle, she would push her slightly when she was hesitating, she would look for her eyes and smile at her fondly.

She would kiss her when she felt they were close enough.

Yet, in her experience, these things faded away. She was used to falling into a routine with her past partners, slowly but relentlessly falling out of love as each little thing was discovered, personality traits appearing and biting away the trust in the relationship. Communication being tricky and elusive, the last step to finally have the talk and get it over with.

The lights were bright as Hilda picked a bag of chips big enough to cover half her shopping cart with the clear intent of adding it to their shopping list. “Why do they make them so big?” she thought, dodging the real thought that consumed her.

Could they actually be in love, instead of simply falling in and out of it?

“Hey, Mari! Do you want some ice cream, too?” Hilda had a carton of ice cream in her hands already, it was chocolate and nuts. Marianne loved chocolate and nuts. She nodded and raised an eyebrow when she saw how Hilda took three cartons more and dropped them nonchalantly in the shopping cart.

Could she be in love with that dork enough to love her through any kind of weather and brave the worst of storms?

Her heart suspected the answer, but her mind was quick to doubt it. How could she tell? How could she think she was going to even get an answer to that?

The beating in her chest grew stronger yet.

Maybe she wouldn’t get an answer, but she could feel the resolution to try it every single day and that, even if she didn’t know it, was the essence itself of loving somebody.

“Look! Chocolate bars are on sale!”

Even if that somebody had an appetite that was outside of this world.

“Let’s get some, then.” Marianne eyed their cart, her mind running prices and portions for each. She knew that Hilda ate like three people, Dorothea had shown the same tendency to eat more than she thought possible upon first look. The two of them could easily eat through the snacks they had already picked up. 

And there was also Ingrid… Ingrid wasn’t too far behind, she was the reason why they bought groceries every weekend and why Marianne kept their rice cooker on and working almost constantly when she was at home. 

If her calculations were correct, and she feared they were (she was, after all, really good at maths) they’d need at least twice more to make sure no one went hungry. She sighed, her eyes back at her girlfriend jumping through the aisles picking up snacks to leave them where they were before, not quite decided what she wanted to eat.

Hilda had asked her to be her girlfriend after that kiss in the middle of the night. Her answer was clear since she had kissed her and had touched a different dimension, guided by the softness of her lips and the warmth of her breath. Of course, she had said yes, the breath she had been holding after kissing her was entirely used to form that single word. Marianne looked at Hilda, who had finally picked something else, nachos, she believed, and her chest was warm and her mind fuzzy. Hilda was a shade of pink Marianne never thought she’d love so much.

“What do you want for drinks?” Marianne suspected that, despite the question, Hilda had already something in mind. She shrugged, pushing the cart toward the next aisle. Marianne had stopped drinking soda years ago, halfway her internship in med school, when she realized the sheer amount of coffee and sugary drinks she was consuming per day. Now she’d only drink water and, occasionally, tea or wine. She also knew Ingrid would drink whatever was available.

The shopping cart was rather heavy as they made their way lazily through the supermarket, a Friday afternoon in which Marianne had managed to sneak early and Hilda picked her up for a movie night. Ingrid had been the one to give the idea, blushed, and hands deep in her pockets as she talked to the floor rather than her roommate after explaining it briefly over the phone in the middle of their shift.

Her voice had been almost inaudible when she suggested that they invited Hilda and Dorothea.

It had been a while since Marianne had seen Ingrid deep in her gay panic, but she supposed a night out with Dorothea had hooked her bad enough for Ingrid to suggest such a thing. She knew her friend had been talking to the actress through text a lot and Hilda had a knowing smile when she commented on it. Marianne nodded at whatever Hilda had shoved under her nose, nothing too sugary that would make her frown by habit or instinct.

“Oh, we should get something nice to drink as well, do you like red wine?”

“Oh, yeah. The sweeter the better.” Marianne turned around, Hilda on toll, already a route in her mind to get to the alcohol aisle. She grabbed Hilda’s hand, driving the cart with only one hand and incredible skill. Marianne missed the surprised and then flustered expression in Hilda’s face. Dorothea was interested in Ingrid, that much as clear, and she was Hilda’s friend. Those were good references if she could ask for any.

They made it to the wine aisle in silence, Hilda’s flustered demeanor changing for a slightly confused one.

If Ingrid was brave, maybe she could find something she’d like at the other end…

“Mari?” She snapped back into reality, blinking as her eyes registered the white light that made the supermarket a place not as hospitable as it could be.

“Yes?” 

“It’s everything ok?” Hilda tugged from their linked hands, making her turn in a gentle request.

“Well, yes, of course!”

“You seemed… a little out. Is there anything worrying you?” Marianne bit her lower lip, guilty rising and flooding her chest in heavy waves. She had done it again, she had managed to be away despite being present.

Why was it so difficult just to be there and enjoy what she already had?

“No, no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to seem! I just…” Marianne looked at their hands and squeezed Hilda’s, trying to convey the warmth she felt when she saw her carefree expression, her pink locks, her dazzling smile.

“Hey, it’s ok! I’m sorry I got carried away by all the snacks! Would… Would you like to share with me what’s going on?” Shy wasn’t an emotion Marianne associated with Hilda, but she looked vulnerable and fragile when she asked her, looking at her through her eyelashes when she got closer, voice small. Marianne smiled and bit the tip of her tongue in her mouth closed.

The moment was now, she’d do better to remember that and communication was key.

The two keys she had missed most of her life.

“Of course, I want to share so many things with you…” Her words didn’t have her permission to be said, yet they were out there before she could stop them. A furious blush worked its way in less than a second from her neck to the top of her ears.

“Oh… I… I feel the same.” Hilda cleared her throat and she dared not to look at Marianne’s hazel eyes, not her soft features, much less to her pink lips.

A supermarket wasn’t the place she wanted to kiss her girlfriend and forget about anything else.

“So…” She stepped back, despite wanting to move forward into her arms. “What wine do you like?”

“Oh, uhm…” Marianne grabbed a pink, fruity wine almost without looking. “I was just thinking about Dorothea and Ingrid…”

“Dorothea has fallen head over heels for her, you can tell by just looking.”

“I hadn’t seen Ingrid like that in a while.” They lingered in the aisle without looking at the other shoppers who walked their way around them. “She will take things slow…”

“Oh? Then I hope that Thea is prepared to work for it. Usually, men or women just fall for their charm quickly.” Hilda crossed her arms and shifted her weight, her expression turning from her initial shyness to a thoughtful look. “If she likes her, however… Dorothea isn’t one to back down at the sight of hardships…”

“Then we can just wait and see.” Marianne still felt the bitter tingles in her tongue. She went to grab the cart and stopped, turning to her girlfriend and opening her arms, calling her into an embrace Hilda didn’t doubt for a second to throw herself in.

At the light music of the supermarket under the unnatural, white light that kept the aisles always looking the same no matter the time of the day, they hugged each other and rocked together dancing to the music their love started to form and play at their hearts. The same symphony playing in unison yet unknown to them.

Communication was a long road, and they had just started to walk it.

They were bound to find so much about each other and develop a language of their own with time.

Time Hilda, in a sense, feared she wouldn’t quite have.

* * *

Dorothea looked at Hilda rather entertained. Her friend was doing her best to keep a straight line, yet her small frame always ended up against Marianne’s side, tilting as the alcohol worked its way through her veins. The brunette knew how much of a lightweight her friend was when it came to drinking, what she didn’t know was how much Marianne could drink without taking the slightest hit.

Next to her, in a posture so stiff she could pass as a statue, Ingrid chugged water from a glass bottle as her eyes were fixed at the tv and her hand rested in Dorothea’s knee ready to spring at the slightest sign of danger. What could possibly be that danger? Dorothea didn’t want to imagine it, but her mind supplied her with possibilities still. She had paid little to no mind to the movie they were watching in Ingrid and Marianne’s living room and had spent most of her time looking at Ingrid’s nape, her short hair and the unspoken invitation that had her fingers tingling to go for it and caress her blond strands with her fingertips.

Dorothea, however, had learned that Ingrid liked to take things slow.

Or, maybe, she was too prompt to panic to do anything else than taking it slow

Ingrid had been quick to sit down on the floor when the couch proved to be too small for the four of them, her back against the arm of the couch next to Dorothea. At some point while they were watching, Ingrid had used her leg as support and her left hand rested in Dorothea’s left knee, almost as if she were hugging herself. Her mouth and chin was hidden behind her forearm.

A slight poke in her ribs made her look at Hilda, who in her pitiful state had decided that poking her was a good idea. Her friend wiggled her eyebrows or at least tried.

_What do you want now?_ An eyebrow raised was enough to convey what she wanted to say.

_It’s your chance!_ Hilda stared at Ingrid and then her, her face open in disbelief.

_Hug your girl and mind your business, Hilda dear._ Dorothea fluttered her eyelash at Marianne, then looking Hilda straight in the eye.

_I won’t hear any complaints later when I tell you everything._ The tiny woman snuggled closer to her girlfriend, rejoicing in her warmth when Marianne brought her closer by her shoulder, hugging her with her left arm, her right still holding her glass of wine and her attention in the movie.

The table before them was crowded with what was left from their snacks, enough to feed several but that two werewolves, one hungry human and a shy Marianne had finished in the first fifteen minutes in the movie.

Dorothea wanted that for herself, she knew it. She wanted to kiss a girl, to have her close, hold her and be held when it was late at night, or the afternoon was a cool one, or they were just watching silly things on the tv and there was wine and cheese and chips and each other. She would lie if she didn’t recognize herself she had envisioned her walking around by Ingrid’s side, their hands joined, their words easy. Their attraction out in the open for everybody to see.

Marianne got Hilda’s glass out of her reach discreetly, drinking what was left in the process.

How endearing were these dorks falling in love.

Was it wrong for her to strive for the same? It would never be easy for them, but maybe, just for a second, a moment static in time she could imagine she would get it. She could let herself fantasize she could have it.

Dorothea, in just a moment static in time, a second in which she allowed herself to be self-indulgent, could believe she was able to reach that closeness, that syntony, that harmony with somebody else. Even if that somebody was a human.

Her green eyes wandered back to Ingrid’s neck, clean and bare, her short blond hair, the strong line in her throat that then drew her jaw.

She bit her lip and slowly, hesitant, in an action that her usual self would do oozing confidence, she closed the gap and let her hand rest in Ingrid’s neck. In response, Ingrid’s hand clamped her knee for a second. Her fingers were strong and her grip tense, and then, after a moment that seemed to extend itself forever, she relaxed her fingers, her forearm going rather limp and the muscles back to a soft, resting nature.

It was a small victory, yet it made her heart jump in her chest.

Dorothea spent the rest of the movie caressing the soft, short strands of hair. Running circles with her thumb behind Ingrid’s ear and scratching softly her nape. Ingrid little by little relaxed into her touch, leaning back to get closer to her, her eyelids sliding shut and a shaky sight making her shoulders tremble.

Oh, yes. Dorothea wanted her so badly, she wanted that dork so prompt to panic to kiss her and call her cute names and to get herself lost in the green ocean of her eyes when Ingrid smiled under the sun.

She was screwed, she knew, yet she let herself drown in the bottomless, stormy ocean that could be her feelings.

Just a second longer.

She could stay there, breathing in her scent and her warmth just a second longer.

At the end of the night, only Marianne really remembered the movie’s name and what it was about. Hilda was in a fuzzy state of mind, cloudy and foggy as she rode the first wave of her drunkenness. She’d regret it later. For a drunk person, however, just present tense existed as time lost its meaning and deepness. She was next to her friends, happily engulfed by her girlfriend’s arms, intoxicated in her sweet scent she adored.

There was no way in heaven or hell to move Hilda from her spot that night, and Dorothea knew it once Ingrid got up and turned the lights on, stretching in the process. Her shoulders were muscular and her back seemed to follow the same pattern under the thin fabric of her sleeveless t-shirt. Dorothea eyed her, keeping a hand under her chin. She wouldn’t want to make a fool of herself with her jaw hanging at the saw of a ripped woman and her glorious shoulders and back muscles.

There was a green trail that followed Ingrid, it was all over their apartment, it was in their car in the pilot’s seat. Dorothea could close her eyes and see it at the entrance, where they had left their shoes and where the daily routines of Marianne and Ingrid were marked by their everyday actions. Marianne’s purse and keys hung there, next to Ingrid’s working cap and her working boots. She didn’t keep her keys there, and Dorothea could guess them in her pockets next to her wallet all the time.

Such different people living together in harmony, it was a feat she wasn’t sure she had quite achieved with Hilda.

She looked at her friend again and smiled. Hilda was snoozing off to the sweeter dreams she would remember in months, Marianne smiling apologetic to her as she kept her girlfriend from falling to her lap. Dorothea pursed her lips for a second, before shifting to face Hilda.

“Hey, sleepyhead, come on darling, time to go…” Dorothea called her before shaking her shoulder gently. It was always a bad idea to shake a werewolf first and then talk to them. Hilda had been easy to turn unwittingly the first days she had seen Marianne and Dorothea worried she would do the same if she slept with Marianne for the night.

They carried the secret of the other, it was a heavy burden that they shared. It meant that they also had to rely on each other.

And that trust was being tested right there.

“Come on, Hilda, you had some projects you wanted to work in tomorrow’s morning…” She shook her again, her intentions clear as her grip grew stronger in her shoulder. A boulder would’ve answered her sooner instead of sleepy drunk Hilda in Marianne’s arm.

“I can drive her tomorrow early to your apartment before going to work.” Ingrid was next to them, an entertained smile adorned face and a heavy blush still covered her cheeks and ears. “We’d need to leave the house a couple of minutes earlier. You okay with that, Mari?” Her hands in her hips, and then her pockets. She shifted her weight. Ingrid was restless or had too much energy to waste.

Or something else.

Dorothea wasn’t blind to that display and she had to be very self-aware to maintain a pace that wouldn’t scare Ingrid away.

“I’m sure Hilda wouldn’t want to burden you…”

“Oh, it's not a burden at all! Ingrid loves driving, and I don’t mind waking up half an hour earlier for Hilda…” Marianne’s hold around Hilda tightened, bringing her closer.

Dorothea smiled and trusted.

She had to. It was for her friend’s happiness, after all.

“Then I will leave her in your loving hands. Do treat her well, she adores you!” Dorothea winked at Marianne, deciding she could have some fun at the expense of her drunk friend. She deserved it since she was entrusting her with the secret of both of them. “Do you need help getting her set up for the night? For being a delicate flower she does sleep heavily…”

Marianne blushed, Hilda very much now in her lap sleeping happily.

“No, it’s fine, I think I can handle her” She cradled her closer, too precious to let her go.

“If you’re sure…” Dorothea got to her feet, she was driving alone to her house tonight. She felt as if she was interrupting a moment that was meant just for the two of them. Ingrid’s hand on hers was gentle and shy when she tugged her away. Soft words to say goodbye and an unanswered question of how Marianne would get Hilda to bed. Ingrid opened the door for her and closed it carefully behind her, making sure to be quiet that late at night.

It was a Friday night and people were bound to be up late, but extra consideration was never a bad bet.

“Thank you for your hospitality, dear” Her smile was wide and radiant and Ingrid swallowed when she saw it, it brought a smile on her own lips regardless.

“Of course, I’m glad you could come... “ Ingrid’s expression shifted, from shy to mischievous, and Dorothea could swear it was the first time she saw it. She loved it. “And I’m sure Marianne is more than happy.”

“Oh? I didn’t think of you as a teaser.” She crossed her arms, her hip slightly tilted and an intrigued expression in her face. Ingrid shrugged and pressed the elevator button with more force than intended.

“I’m just making sure I have something to defend myself if the necessity arises.” She said, rubbing her fingertips together where she had punched the button. The elevator was quick for once in coming to pick them up. Again, Ingrid allowed Dorothea to go first like she did in every single door and threshold they had to cross. The songstress saw a pattern there she found endearing.

So a knight in shiny armor in modern times, uh? She could learn to play around that.

There was something about elevators that made them seem surreal. They existed in a different dimension, with their never-changing lights and so polished surfaces that they work as mirrors. In that strange space, they could aspire to be something different for half a minute, they could dream about being something different, couldn’t they?

Dorothea was taller and from the corner of her eye she could see Ingrid’s strong shoulders, her untamed blond hair some alone, lonely white strands gave it a platinum final color. Her hands weren’t in her pockets nor crossed at her chest. The songstress bit her lower lip and went for it. 

Elevators were different worlds where she could reach for more things and maybe, maybe, hope to replicate them in the world they both had to live outside of that metal box with never changing lights and mirror walls.

The building had a parking lot for visitors and Hilda had parked there their red car hours before. Dorothea guided Ingrid, their steps reverberating in the bare cement walls and their ears red. How unbecoming for such a grand, irresistible presence as Dorothea to be flustered by holding somebody’s hand like she was some high school girl again.

No, not even in her high school years she had taken things so slow and carefully.

Ingrid let her go when Dorothea fumbled looking for her set of keys in her purse. The car’s spare were among the many keys she kept with several keychains in a mess she’d shake till the right one was usable. The blonde she wanted to call her girlfriend looked at the process raising both of her eyebrows and smirked when Dorothea winked at her.

Ingrid kept all her keys separated in different keychains. She felt them when her hands dug into her pockets for what could be the eleventh time that night. The hands in her pockets were warm, maybe too warm for her liking but she feared what they could do if they were out there in the open, near Dorothea, near her beautiful silhouette, her mesmerizing smile, her attractive lips. Ingrid looked at the ground, thinking she could fool herself.

She was so wrong.

“It was a really nice night, thank you for having us. I’m sorry I had to leave Hilda in your care...”

“It’s Marianne’s care. Don’t worry, I told you already, I think she’ll be more than okay.” She remained static, unsure of how to proceed. Dorothea felt insecure when she was around Ingrid, her confidence lost and her usual dramatic flare suppressed by this woman that seemed to capitalize all of her senses and emotions. Dorothea didn’t know if she liked it, but she knew she wasn’t able to stop it.

“Then… I suppose it’s goodnight?”

“Yeah…”

They lingered, not wanting to go and yet not knowing how to keep moving the conversation forward. Ingrid rocked her weight forward and backward, sure of what she wanted but unsure of how asking it. 

“Umh… would it be ok if we saw each other again this weekend? I have to work but it isn’t a full shift tomorrow driving so unless something comes up I should be free all Sunday… Maybe we can go out for a walk, or watch a movie again, I can show you around Derdriu more…” She shut her mouth close. She had been talking too much and her words would betray her if she kept talking.

The question, however, was how much could be considered treason if they spoke the true wish of her heart?

Dorothea didn’t comment on her voice, rushing through syllables, not in how furiously she scratched her neck, not in how she shifted her weight buckling her knees almost imperceptible. Instead, she smiled and nodded.

“I’d love that…”

“Great! Uh, then… I can text you later?” Ingrid gestured to the car, trying to make sure she wasn’t stalling Dorothea in purpose, encouraging her into getting in the machine and leaving. Dorothea, instead, leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

“You can always text me.” She completed her statement with a wink and opened the car door. Ingrid’s blank expression was a blessing because her own expression turned sour when she realized Hilda’s scent was all over the steering wheel and the seatbelt and she’d need to clean those free of that smell before she could drive it. Dorothea breathed in deep, trying to clear her mind in a weird mix of a scent she wanted to eat and one that she recognized as part of her clan.

She wished the goddess would be with her giving her strength.

Her purse had several cleaning wipes boxes, and she grabbed a handful before getting in the car and cleaning the steering wheel. She’d drive a couple of blocks making sure to be out of sight before stopping to clean thoroughly the whole car and driving seat.

But she had to keep her hands into getting marked by Hilda’s scent.

Oh, she would get back at her friend later.

Ingrid watched her cleaning frenzy with a mix of curiosity and amusement. It was nothing compared to what was about to come, but it wasn’t normal to see a person get in the car and start wiping clean a steering wheel that seemed perfectly fine.

“It’s a bit sticky…” Dorothea said, trying to cover for the powerful wiping she was doing in the wheel.

“Eh, sure, of course.” Ingrid crossed her arms and tilted her head, following each movement of her hands.

Dorothea wasn’t satisfied with the cleaning, but it’d do for now. She fastened her seatbelt, using every single ounce of willpower to not make a face when the scent of Hilda whiplashed right across the nose and turned on the car.

“Text me when you get home, please.”

“I’ll text you all night if I could, darling.” She teased, a wink alongside and she got the blush she was looking for. Ingrid smiled embarrassed but waved her goodbye, watching her get out of the visitor’s parking spot and drive into the night.

Dorothea’s knuckles were white as her grip tightened and her mind raced to try to go against her very nature.

She’d text Ingrid once she was home, thinking about her night and how soft her hair was.

Praying and hoping that Hilda would keep to herself their secrets just a little longer.

* * *

Her brother tended to say she was too big of a personality for her small body. He used to say she was too good at making others make her work and for herself to lay low, enjoying pleasures and idle afternoons.

He said she was really smart for the rest to keep up.

Hilda used to agree with him. Today, however, in the back seat of Ingrid and Marianne’s car, she had to recognize to herself that she had to give a lot to receive in an equal manner. Yes, she had woken up in Marianne’s arm, engulfed by her warmth and her scent. That had been glorious.

She also woke up in her underwear as Marianne wouldn’t feel right helping her out of her bra when she was so drunk she could barely remember it. Hilda looked through the window, embarrassed to recognize her memories were disconnected in the best of the scenarios. Did Marianne keep her standing up while she got out of her shirt and into one of Marianne’s old shirts she used to sleep?

It could’ve been the case.

Marianne had cooked her breakfast, and she had had dark bitter coffee alongside her and Ingrid before taking a quick shower in her girlfriend’s bathroom. She had liked the experience. She’d liked it better if she wasn’t still dizzy from the alcohol she had drunk.

Their goodnight hadn’t been a text, but a kiss and a hug that tangled them through the night, a mess of limbs and emotions she didn’t need to pick apart because it was part of them and them only.

And it’d been so much better if Hilda could remember it completely.

“You okay there?” Ingrid looked at her through the rear mirror. The woman seemed quite refreshed, which was normal considering she hadn’t drunk anything else but water and soda last night.

“We’re close now, you could keep sleeping for a bit longer. Do you want me to call you when I finish my shift?” Marianne turned from the passenger’s seat to look at her. That was the real question. How did Marianne manage to drink three times what she drank and be so refreshed and unfazed?

Hilda had to admit to herself that the revelation just made her love her a bit more.

“Yes, just a bit sleepy…” Her stomach churned when the car turned and Hilda thanked the goddess and her ancestors that Ingrid was such a calm defensive driver. Breathing in to calm her upset stomach, she pulled up her phone and saw the messages she had been sending and receiving from Dorothea.

_I’m going home._

_You barfed their car?_

_No, I have some decency._

_Ask Ingrid when she’s out._

_You ask her._

Hilda locked the screen and tilted forward, looking for Marianne’s arm and peeping through the windshield.

“It’s a pity you have to work today…”

“Oh, we’re used to it already, right Ingrid?” The driver hummed in agreement, her hands in the steering wheel and her eyes on the road. “It isn’t for too long today.”

“Dorothea told me you had a date today, Ingrid.” Hilda raised her eyebrows when Ingrid’s knuckles turned white.

“Y-Yeah….”

“If you don’t mind, I could pick up Mari today so you’re free to go for her.” Marianne looked at her through the rear mirror, her hazel eyes curious, but she kept her thoughts to herself. Hilda winked, putting up her best face despite she felt like crap.

Damn that delicious wine and damn Dorothea for reminding her Hilda owed her.

“I wouldn’t want to trouble you.” Ingrid’s gear shifting wasn’t as smooth as the other ones. The werewolf picked up the nervousness in her smell and hoped that Ingrid’s driving skills were so hardwired in her brain that they were out of danger for gay panic.

“It’s no trouble! I owe Marianne a nice date after she got me to bed.” That was true, she had been a burden to her girlfriend. Or at least that’s how she felt.

Marianne didn’t agree, with the look she gave her.

“I can ask Dorothea…”

“She’s dying for you to take her out, believe me.” Hilda winked again, her stomach turned in her belly, and soon she would break a cold sweat. But they were humans, they’d never know by her smell how close she was of being really sick. “Would you like that, Mari? I have some accessories I’ve been working on to show you!”

“Oh, are you sure?”

“I really really really want you to try them on!” Hilda didn’t add she had made them for her. She could say it later. For now the less she said, the better. Her mouth shut was a statement to keep her stomach in place.

Ingrid stopped at a red light a couple of blocks from her apartment and scratched her neck. She was unsure, indecisive. What was it with this woman that she feared to be alone with Dorothea and at the same time she wished for the brunette to eat her up? Hilda wasn’t sure, but the mix signals she got from her scent were interesting, to say the least.

That was a mystery for Dorothea to solve, she had Marianne and couldn’t be happier.

Even if she had to keep secrets, she couldn’t be happier.

“Why don’t you text her, Ingrid? We can move our baking Saturday time for tomorrow.” Marianne suggested, touching her friend's forearm in a reassuring gesture. Hilda clenched her right hand, hidden from them, into a tight fist.

Damn her protective, territorial instincts.

“I could…” The light turned green and she started driving again. “Are you sure it’s okay, Mari?”

“More than okay.”

Hilda leaned back, breathing in and closing her eyes. She had already done her part, if she pushed any harder she’d be sick right there and it would be a disaster, to say the least. Ingrid drove that last block in silence, before pulling up where her phone told her to. She took it from the little stand she had plugged it in for easy access when driving and started to type quickly.

Even in a pitiful state, Hilda had power. She could go now and just lay in bed for hours.

Dorothea was one of the few people she would really work for.

“Thank you for the ride!” Hilda unfastened her seatbelt and got out of the car in a flash, longing for the fresh air of the morning, even if it was tainted by the humidity of a late spring day. She breathed in and walked to Marianne’s window, who was smiling at her as she lowered it. “Thank you for taking care of me.” She whispered now. Her girlfriend pulled her in close and gave her a quick kiss.

For a moment, just a blissful second, Hilda forgot how bad she felt and how her stomach had started a war of its own in her body.

“For you, always.” Marianne whispered back, letting her go.

“Bye-bye! Have a great day!” Hilda walked backward, waving them both. Marianne never stopped looking and smiling at her. Ingrid looked up from her phone and gave her a thumbs-up, before engaging the engine again and driving away. Hilda looked as they went, she was sure that this was similar to the first time she had said goodbye to Marianne, that first date weeks ago.

She rocked back and forth before looking for her keys in her purse and making her way to her bedroom, where her stomach could behave as it pleased. She had hours to recover before going for Marianne at the end of her shift.

In her desk, still unfinished and waiting for her skilled hands to complete them, a couple of earrings awaited their true owner to claim them.

* * *

“So how did that go?” Derdriu’s avenues were famous for their wide roads that went to the sea. Ingrid had parked in of the parks at the top of the tallest hill in the city and they were now walking lazily through it, looking at the ocean each time one of the avenues opened up and the blue of the sky paled in comparison to the rich blue of the ocean.

“Nobody noticed, thank the goddess, but my company never worked with that director again.” Dorothea had a cone ice cream with enough flavors on top of it to keep an eye on the balance of the whole tower with every step. Ingrid’s was smaller.

Not that smaller.

“It’s amazing still, that you could all navigate through that so easily.”

“I wouldn’t call it easy, dear, but we did our best and it paid off.”

Ingrid had looked upon a website what were the best things to do in Derdriu for a date, read through it, and almost threw her phone out of the ambulance’s window. She had had the not great idea of telling Dorothea she would have plans for their afternoon. Plans she had then struggled to come up with.

It was Annette the one who had saved her, by pointing to the ice cream shop when they drove next to the same park they were cruising now and telling them those ice creams were by far the best of the city.

The blonde had supposed that the best ice creams in the city were as good a starting point as any. She also remembered Dorothea hadn’t been around the city that much, and she had decided that some of the landscapes around were nice enough to walk and talk with no other further matters pressing them.

“Would you like to be part of a company here as well?” Ingrid was curious about Dorothea’s past. The songstress seemed to have enjoyed her life in Enbarr, yet there she was with Hilda in a new city that she had never visited before. Derdriu was a huge city, the capital of a country that praised itself in the art its people produced, that was granted. It was, still, a new city and an unknown future to face.

It was scary, it was uncertain, it was risky.

“Oh, I’m not sure. As a free actress, I’d have more freedom, I may need it while I get my name around!” Dorothea had eaten most of her ice cream already. She had perfect manners when it came down to eating, Ingrid couldn’t help but feel inadequate next to her.

She kept by her side nonetheless.

“I suppose that’s the case. I’m sorry I can’t help more with that…'' Maybe if they were back in Faerghus she could've helped, maybe if she talked to her family she would have had some contacts to share with the woman.

Maybe if she hadn’t chosen for herself years ago she would have her family to offer Dorothea rather than just herself.

The past was a dangerous topic and every now and then it came back to bite her side.

“Oh, no, don’t worry! I do want to get myself out there in the big stage by my own merits!” Dorothea flipped her hair over her shoulder and the gesture made Ingrid’s mind drew a blank for a second. “Besides, you’re already so kind showing me the city around. I enjoy your company a lot, Ingrid.” She tugged her by their link hands, a source of warmth Ingrid had stopped thinking about to concentrate on talking. “How about you? How do you end up driving an ambulance?”

Ingrid had a bite from her ice cream, giving herself some time to think of a proper answer. Her past was covered in thorns she didn’t wish to visit, yet navigating through memories to produce an acceptable answer was something she excelled on. She let the cold cream dissolve in her tongue, the citrus flavor flooding her tongue and sweetening her thoughts, before deciding in the words she wanted to use.

“I was never cut for a profession that kept me cooed inside a building… It was almost an accident, but I like it a lot and pay my bills. It also allowed me to meet Marianne, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.” That wasn’t a lie, yet it wasn’t the whole truth. Dorothea must have sensed she wasn’t telling all she could by the way her green eyes looked at her, but her smile was warm and reassuring.

She was kind to change the topic without pressing further.

Ingrid would find out later that she wished to tell Dorothea her secrets and her burdens. She wished to share with her the distant memories she had fought so hard to never think about again. She would find out.

Later.

“So, what else is to visit around here?”

“You’re up for a little adventure?”

“With you” Dorothea laughed, a pristine sound. “Always.”

* * *

Marianne made her way through the apartment doing her best to keep her amusement to herself. Compared to the order she and Ingrid lived in, their dates’ apartment was so chaotic that it was difficult to walk a straight line without knocking something to the ground. She did her best, however, following Hilda as she talked to her about the earrings she had crafted lately and how she needed her help to quite finish them.

Hilda’s room wasn’t any different from the rest of the apartment. There was a change in the colors that adorned the walls and covered the furniture, yes, but it was the same chaotic mess as the living room they had arrived upon opening the door.

“Are you sure it’s my help you need?” Marianne let her backpack on the bed. As she looked at the things that were on the floor and on top of tables and shelves, she started to realize there was a pattern. There was a method there that was easy to miss in just one look. “Wouldn’t you need someone with more of an artistic eye for this?”

“Oh, Dorothea loves helping me out, but I really just need to see you wearing them to see what I’m missing!” Hilda wished to be less straightforward, but she couldn’t. She didn’t find in herself the patience or the words to say anything less but the blunt truth.

“If you’re sure…” Marianne sat in the chair Hilda offered her, taking off her own earrings and taking carefully the ones that were lined up right there waiting for her. They were a shade of red with traces of salmon that made her blue sky hair stand out, framing her face delicately as she put them on and looked at herself in the mirror. Marianne was busy admiring the accessories and she missed Hilda’s expression.

She would’ve loved to see her expression that moment because when Hilda looked at her, wearing the earrings she had made for her, tilting her head and exposing her fair neck, she knew she wanted to tell Marianne her secrets. She wished to lay them all in front of her, expose herself complete for Marianne to explore and take apart. She wanted those beautiful hands, those skillful, slender fingers, stripping her bare. Layer by layer, secret by secret, piece by piece.

Until the very end, when only her soft, delicate, ethereal essence was there for Marianne to take.

She didn’t need to conquer her. Hilda was already hers.

“What do you think?” Her question was never answered, when Marianne looked over her shoulder she just saw Hilda blushed to the tip of her ears, struggling to get her words through her mouth as her mind raced with images and feelings instead of coherent thoughts.

Being around for a while for a werewolf meant that they were able to forget about smells and other little clues for most of the time.

That moment wasn’t the time for Hilda to forget about Marianne’s scent and every single detail she could pick. Marianne stood up, understanding quite well the look in her girlfriend’s eye. It spurred in her different emotions, her heart racing and soaring when she bit her lower lip and tried to say something to Hilda. She wanted to tell her that the earrings were beautiful.

That she loved how delicate her work could be.

That she was happy to be by her side.

How lovely she looked when she was flustered like that.

Instead of doing any of that, Marianne brought her closer, her hands in her waist pulling skin against her skin. Feeling the warm flesh under her fingertips, the shivering and trembling of Hilda’s hands in her nape.

The hunger in her kiss, her tongue claiming territory in her lips, in her mouth, exploring the line of her jaw, her neck in a gentle and relentless siege that made her see the night sky when her eyes shut close.

“M… Mari…” Her thoughts were elusive, her mind racing alongside her heart. Her blood rampage as runaway horses in her veins. She bit her lower lip when Marianne found a sensitive spot in her neck, almost at her collarbone, where her pulse quickened.

Her fangs were longer.

“Mari…” It was a plea and it was a prayer. Her hands now intertwined behind her waist. Marianne was covering her, kissing her neck, intoxicating her with her smell, disarming her with her warmth.

Consuming her in a wildfire she was never going to be able to diminish.

Marianne’s hands cupped her cheeks and she was kissing her. There was want, there was love, there was rush.

Her fingers trembled when she caressed her cheekbones. The dry scent of fear hit her nose among the rich and powerful scent of Marianne’s arousal and primal smell. Barely a trace, but enough to shed a light of clarity in the mist of her mind consumed by instinct and hunger. Hilda opened her eyes and broke the kiss, looking for Marianne’s.

“Mari, are you sure?” Her nose was so close that it grazed hers, their breaths mixing and encouraging her soaring heart, her mind threatening with losing all sanity left in the bottomless ocean of her love.

“Hilda…” Her voice was soft and trembling.

“We don’t have to do it if you aren’t sure… I don’t want to rush you into something you don’t want to do.” How could she explain she wanted her for her life? She wished for her presence to be in every corner of her day. For her smell and her voice and her giggling to be her daily song that would give her warmth through the winter nights and solace in the summer days she had before spent alone.

“It isn’t that. It’s just…” Such a delicate voice. Hilda wanted to hug her and shield her from the world. Growl at anybody who would dare to get remotely close to her with ill intentions.

“You’re so much more valuable than what you can give me in a night, Mari. I can wait countless days for you…” She swallowed, her body aching the loss of something she hadn’t quite grasped yet. “Just let me hold you tonight. Just let me be near you, I want you, not what you can give me, but just you.”

Her scent was mixing with something more. Arousal, and nervousness, fear, excitement, determination.

Love.

Hilda swallowed again.

Oh goddess.

Love.

Was it Marianne’s? Was it hers?

She couldn’t care less. Marianne pulled her close again and kissed her, taking her time. Kissed her with dedication and patience. She kissed her as if it was a task she had to pour her soul into as if she was creating a piece of art that would represent the pinnacle of her creation.

She melted in her arms, in her lips, in her scent.

Suddenly, she was sitting down in her bed. Before she could register it, she was sitting in her bed and her hands were in Marianne’s shoulders holding for dear life. She had never stopped kissing her. Marianne used her weight to make her lay and her lips traveled from her lips to her jaw and her neck. Her braids were starting to get loose and her hair caressed her feverish skin.

This was happening, and Hilda’s brain couldn’t keep up.

She couldn’t but register the kisses in her skin, and the hands opening her buttons one by one. Hilda heard herself humming and moaning, nodding each time Marianne asked her if she could continue. She laid there bare and naked, trembling and wanting, her eyes clouded by a need that had grabbed hold in her throat. Hazel, bright, beautiful eyes looked at her, the red shine of the earrings still framing Marianne’s face.

Hilda had wished to lay in front of Marianne, open and exposed. Instead, she opened herself, trembling when hot fingertips traced senseless patterns in the soft skin inside her knees as a prelude to place kisses to set her skin on fire. She closed her eyes and let herself go with no reservations. No second thoughts.

She closed her eyes and let herself be loved, wanted, and needed.

Marianne was eating her, she wouldn’t stop until she had heard her cry, her orgasm soaring from her throat and burning her sex. She was kissing her with dedication and reverence.

No reservations, no second thoughts.

Hilda wouldn’t regain them until the next morning when she was sure to wake up aching and content next to the one she loved.

* * *

“Do you like stargazing?” Dorothea watched as Ingrid took the hand she offered her, making sure her feet were secured and strong as they reached the little plateau near the of that steep hill.

“I never paid that much attention to it…” Ingrid’s hand was strong in hers, not enough to hurt her, of course, but it was a nice reassurance of her presence. “I like them if that’s worth something.”

“Of course it is!” She enjoyed how Ingrid didn’t let go of their joined hands. She had been less shy that day, moving forward toward what they both had danced around and asked for since they met each other. On the contrary, Ingrid intertwined their fingers together. “They say that our future is written there, as our past.” Ingrid looked at her, an eyebrow raised, before looking back at the stars, her eyes were a mirage of stars and planets. A tiny cosmos that ran through them as the night river. Dorothea thought she had never seen anything so beautiful.

She was painfully aware of how her heart throbbed at the thought.

“It’s beautiful, that’s for sure.” Ingrid wasn’t small, yet under the stars, next to Dorothea’s taller frame she felt tiny, fragile.

Vulnerable.

Her hand itched in Dorothea’s, her skin asking for more. Her whole body screaming for what she wanted at such a primal level. Dorothea tugged her just a bit closer, leaning in her shoulder and not letting go. Never letting go of her.

Ingrid swallowed.

Dorothea’s skin was hot, o sho hot, her perfume intoxicating, her presence numbing. Ingrid’s mind was running, spinning her wheels, and never going anywhere.

This had nothing to do with her mind, her fears, her racing thoughts. This was about her heart, that swelled and soared at the mere idea of wanting Dorothea.

Of Dorothea wanting her back.

She closed her eyes and let her body take over, letting go of precautions and fears. She hadn’t allowed herself since arriving at Derdriu years ago, when her heart had taken control of her and decided what was best for Ingrid when her mind couldn’t.

Only the brave could claim the praise they longed for.

Ingrid tugged her hand, bringing her impossible close, making Dorothea face her to look for solace in the curvature of her neck. Yet, she didn’t find solace, she found the liquid fire of the throbbing of her heart, beating in her veins and driving her mad. She grabbed Dorothea’s delicate dress holding tight, her forehead in her collarbone and her eyes closed.

They remained like that for a moment, seconds they knew they¿d treasure for the rest of their lives. The threshold before the change, the knowledge setting, and tingling in their minds.

Dorothea breathed in a shaky sigh.

“Ingrid… can I kiss you?”

Of course she could. Ingrid was hers, even if she didn’t say it, or recognize it to herself. She was hers to take as much as she pleased. Anything that was Ingrid’s and Dorothea wanted, she could have it.

All these words stormed her mind, racing thoughts, runaway horses that consumed her in a fire she would never quench. She managed, however, to nod and mutter a small “yes”.

The brunette breathed in again. The approval giving calm to her rushing mind. Her hands traced Ingrid’s hips, her arms, her shoulders, barely grazing her neck and caressing her jawline, making her look up, allowing Dorothea to dive in the stars that filled her eyes.

Her eyelids shit and she saw no more, but she smiled and kissed her.

And the night around them fell silent.

Ingrid wouldn’t hear it but later would see Marianne’s text telling her she wasn’t going back home that night.

* * *

Marianne woke up unsure exactly where she was, thrown off by the unusual surroundings so different from her room in light, pastel colors, and the morning light coming from her right. She was in a bed that was bigger than hers, with darker colors and the smell of Hilda everywhere. The light came from high on a window near the ceiling and it gave the room a rather dimly aspect that early in the morning.

Her muscles twitched and tingled pleasantly as she remembered last night and a soft smile opened in her face. Before stretching and dozing off again to the safe world that were her dreams, she looked for Hilda next to her, she looked for her warmth and her soft skin, her naked body close to hers in blissful communion.

Yet, she just found the fading warm next to her.

Marianne opened her eyes fully, trying to sit up in bed while grabbing the sheet against her chest, but she was kept in place by a heavyweight on top of her. What was…?

There was a dog, a big dog, a _huge_ dog lying across her chest, and sleeping in what seemed content slumber. Marianne swallowed, paralyzed by surprise for a second before her adrenaline kicked in and her pulse shot to the skies.

A pink dog, just the same pink as Hilda’s lovely hair.

The dog twitched its ears, before opening its eye and raising its head alarmed.

Oh no.

There were consequences that needed to be dealt with. Hilda had some explaining to do.

So much explanation to do.

Once Marianne stopped running away from her and she had a throat capable of talking again, that was it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof woof?
> 
> **EDIT:**
> 
> I was gifted BEAUTIFUL art for this chapter and I feel like I need to share it with the world!!!! Please find the amazing artist in the following links!!!!
> 
> [i-mossy](https://i-mossy.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [mossarchives](https://mossarchives.tumblr.com)
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH


	4. Family can be found (or, let me explain once more)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were to blame, yes, circumstances always were as they shaped people into different things, but at the end of the day the only one that could ultimately change her ways and her behavior was herself.  
>   
> She groaned.  
>   
> Oh, how she wished to be a little less self-aware. It would make things easier.

Ingrid didn’t quite like Marianne’s bed, too soft for her liking. Her back was sinking in the softness of the mattress, she feared she wouldn’t be able to get away from it the more she stayed there, staring at the ceiling, too early to quite get up but too awake to go back to sleep.

The room wasn’t unwelcoming, but it wasn’t hers. In her room, Dorothea slept. In her sheets, in her blankets, in her rather stiff mattress, surrounded by her bare walls.

Her hand looked for her phone next to the pillow. She scrolled down lazily through it. There were no texts from Marianne, but Ingrid could guess her friend was entertained in rather more interesting activities than texting her. She sighed. 

Dorothea was sleeping in her bed.

She had changed her sheets for clean ones and had offered all the accommodations she could’ve thought about. Ingrid thought she had seen her disappointed pout when she told her she’d be sleeping in Marianne’s room. She couldn’t bring herself to sleep alongside her.

Not yet at least.

Dorothea had respected that and she liked her even more for doing so. The brightness of her phone's screen was too low for the morning light, she changed it absent-mindedly and opened her email to update the app and see if anything new had appeared there.

Dorothea had respected that, and she liked her more for doing so. She still felt guilty, however. Why couldn't she bring herself just to open up and offer something more than just words and hugs? Why couldn't she be okay with just offering her words and her kisses?

Why did she keep feeling inadequate, despite whatever she did and whatever she said?

She wanted to blame somebody else out of herself. She could, of course, Ingrid had had her fair share of hardships as to point fingers and allocate traumas to different sides of her family. She could blame her father for trying to marry her off, her mother to allow such a thing to happen, and encourage it with her well-intentioned yet disastrous ladylike lessons. Ingrid could blame her bad luck for being born into a family that wanted what the past had offered them and the present had taken away.

She could feel bitter toward her siblings whose future had been shoved in her hands, her firstborn duty to save them from the precarious life she had had to endure. All of those years in Faerghus where she had just existed, merely surviving instead of living and thriving as she should have. As anybody should with the limited time they had in life.

Ingrid sighed, putting her phone away and rubbing her face with her hands forcefully.

They were to blame, yes, circumstances always were as they shaped people into different things, but at the end of the day, the only one that could ultimately change her ways and her behavior was herself. 

She groaned.

Oh, how she wished to be a little less self-aware. It would make things easier.

Marianne had been the most unlikely wildcard to get away from her natal Galatea and into a different city and country, using distance as a way to protect herself and carve a path for her own outside of any arrangements and commitments she hadn't had a part in. It had meant she had broken relationships with most of her family, only her siblings talked to her now, and they did when her parents weren't around to make inquiries about her whereabouts and life.

She was grateful to them and ashamed at the same time.

It didn't matter how much time passed, it seemed, no matter where she was and what she was doing. She still didn't feel ready to be completely herself. 

Ingrid got up, pushing away the blankets and making her way to Marianne's bathroom ruffling her hair upset. It was too early to start the day mad at herself, yet there she was pouring over a past she didn't wish to look into but chained her to a weight that prevented her from getting into the future she desired for herself. Maybe a shower would get her worries and sour thoughts about family, duty and past away.

Maybe Dorothea's smile would get her in a different mood.

Ingrid wasn't sure if that mood would be better for her health but she could at least try. The woman seemed to like her even when Ingrid was itching to get out of her own skin. The water she used to wash her face was cold and it slapped some sense into her, grounding back to a Sunday morning that didn't ask anything from her but to exist. Yes, it was true, Ingrid didn't quite like herself, she wasn't quite comfortable with the person she was.

But she could be different if she worked on that.

She could strive for something different if she had hoped to get there.

And when she did… and when she did maybe she'd be comfortable enough as to let somebody else in. She'd let Dorothea into her very essence where she didn't want to be by herself but didn't want to be exposed all the same.

Ingrid turned around, looking for a towel to shower quickly and start working a quick breakfast for her visitor. Dorothea wasn't her girlfriend, not yet at least. They had just kissed once.

_ A kiss that had sent her to the sky. _

And on their way back she had seen Marianne's text. Her ears still burned to remember how she showed it to Dorothea to explain the whole situation and how the songstress had laughed upon seeing it, asking her to let her crash her couch as she didn't want to go back to that scenario in the apartment she shared with Hilda. Ingrid admired Marianne in many different ways, but she admired her inner strength to offer up her heart and her emotions so openly. Sweet Marianne, who had gone through a lot, who still got in her head so much and worried about what she did and how her actions were perceived. Generous Marianne who looked for a profession where she could help people despite her experience with people itself. She had every ounce of self-doubt and bad memories as Ingrid did, yet no matter how scared she was, she gave herself and reached for what would make her happy.

Ingrid found the towel and threw it over her shoulder.

She wished she was as brave as her friend was.

* * *

Hilda was sitting in front of Marianne, her hands on her knees and her eyes fixed on the floor. The silence between them was so different from the silences they had shared just the day before, it weighed on her shoulders and breathed in her neck reminding her she had reached for too much and had burned herself in a fire she was never meant to warm herself next to.

Marianne's stern expression was almost impossible to read or, maybe, she was so scared and ashamed she hadn't been able to look at her in the eye long enough to realize how her girlfriend felt.

Could Hilda call Marianne her girlfriend after that morning?

She sure hoped so.

Her knees hurt, her feet were starting to get numb and she was sure she wouldn't be able to unclench her fists even if her life depended on it. Hilda swallowed, her mind failing catastrophically in providing the right words to make the other person stay with her. Next to her, around her. Make the other person remain her girlfriend.

"So..." Her voice trembled as her shoulders did. Hilda pushed forward. She'd need to push forward no matter what.

"So…?"

"I… I should've told you sooner…." 

Several seconds passed by, Marianne was choosing her words carefully.

Too carefully for Hilda’s liking.

"Yes, you should have." Her tone had lost its warmth. It had lost the beautiful intonation it always had had for Hilda and Hilda only. A note that had been found in Marianne’s chest when she saw her shade of pink that evoked so many things in her she wasn’t able to name and explain.

Deep in her mind, Marianne hoped for an explanation that could satisfy her as to keep Hilda by her side.

It was going to be difficult to have such an explanation, and Marianne would never do herself dirty and settle for something that wasn’t good for her. Not ever again.

“So… I’m a werewolf…” It was never easy to say, and it never sounded right. Not even when they were with her clan the word was said out loud enough to make them comfortable with it. “I have always been, but it isn’t something that weird, I swear! We just want to live normal lives as the rest of everybody else!” She used her hands to gesture, a physical barrier to try to explain her case. Marianne's face was a song she couldn't understand, a frown that made her soft features severe and her usually understanding eyes hard and closed.

Marianne was, for the first time she met her, closed to her.

Hilda caught a sigh in her throat. At least she wasn't hostile toward her.

Her hands traveled down again to her knees, her fists clenched tight. Holst had hugged her close once, when she was a kid, and had explained to her what they were and how they survived. He had held her as a kid and his words for once had been kind and soft instead of thunderous and bold. Holst had told her they were the same as everybody else, their essence just a simple soul that looked for their place in the world. Hilda licked her lips, her memories flooding her in an attempt to give her the right answer, the right words in the thin ice she needed to navigate to get back to her girlfriend.

If she could call her that.

The distance that separated them hurt her like a blade that had been sharpened and pointed at her direction with no mercy and no warmth. It was ice and it was wind, the hollow cry of the mountain pass when the snow-covered it in winter.

No creature, no soul would venture in it unless death was the final goal.

No words could be said that were untrue if she wished to keep Marianne with her at least just a moment longer.

The silence dragged on, the short woman unsure how to continue, the human expecting something more before asking her questions to make up her mind.

"I never intended to hurt you or lie to you… It's complicated. It isn't just my secret to tell." Her voice was just a small stream now, instead of the rapid river it used to be born of her lips. "I'm not that different, I just eat a lot, shed some hair and… uh, well… turn every now and then." A joke could've gone there, she knew it, even a compliment.

Hilda suspected Marianne wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"I was sent by my family… my clan, to come back to Derdriu. Some of our ancestral territory lays here, in this old city..." She tried to open her hand to encompass her surroundings in a wide swing of her wrist. She couldn't. "This apartment it's the way for us to do so. We are to live our lives and just cover as much territory as possible… My people have their old ways. I.. I don't quite appreciate it, but I must respect them." Hilda bit her lips, her teeth now so small and blunt it infuriated her to think she was a wolf less than an hour before with white big fangs that could be portrayed in any horror movie.

She hated those stories. She hated to be the big bad wolf.

"I… I won't hurt you, I'd never dream about harming anybody. Please, Marianne… it's just me. It's always been just me." Hilda was trembling. She didn't realize, but her shoulders were trembling and her nails digging inside her palms made her forearms tense and shiver in emotions she couldn't control and, if she was honest to herself, she didn't wish to control.

The silence shifted around them.

Still uncomfortable, heavy and thick, difficult to breathe in, difficult to read.

Hilda's teeth kept biting her lower lip, she was starting to hurt herself.

Marianne was silent.

There were no more words strong or heavy enough for her to share and say in an attempt to explain her situation. Hilad could talk all day long about her upbringings, about her first turning, about all the myths and legends around her kind and her race. She could talk about the stupid task her parents had requested of her, about how she had escaped from a bad marriage arraignment by taking leadership in a different territory far away from her family and friends. She could talk about the long walks and talks she had had first with her brother at night, near the tall mountains in Goneril territory south of Derdriu. She could spend days detailing how it felt to be a human and not be one at the same, how her very nature was a mystery she wasn't able to explain and yet had to live with every single day.

She could explain the logistics more or less, she could detail the circumstances.

Hilda could list all the elements that composed that equation.

She couldn't, however, decide for Marianne what she believed and what she wished for her life.

"I…" and she decided to keep to herself that last piece of information, the only one that included feelings rather than actions and decisions. The only one that spoke from Hilda alone instead of her family, her clan, her traditions and her duty.

She loved her, or at the very least she was falling in love with her, she was willing and wanting of her.

Hilda wished to look at Marianne and make her smile for her.

But what would that bring if she said it in that situation? She didn't want to press Marianne into something that could remotely be seen as emotional blackmail.

As so, she remained silent. She remained hurting. She remained yearning and longing.

The seconds stretched, one after the other.

Hours and years compressed in moments that would run the same length no matter the clock they were measured with but seemed to be eternal in her tired mind, her tensed shoulders, her hoping heart.

"Hilda." When Marianne spoke, she looked at her eyes and Hilda couldn't but look back.

"Yes?"

"Do you like me?"

So easy to answer.

"I do, I do so very much..."

"Do you love me?"

So scared to answer.

"I… I think I'm starting to..." and that was the truth.

Marianne looked at her, not letting on anything in her firm expression, her decided hazel eyes. She had taken a decision, that was much clear to Hilda. What was that decision? She couldn't phantom it, but she would find out soon.

"Do you want me to be with you, and live a normal life? At least, as normal as it can be?"

"I wish to have you in my life." Hilda looked small, defeated, scared and vulnerable. She kept there, offering her heart and her nature to the woman she longed for. She remained there, weathering the storm of her chest and the edge in the words that could come.

Marianne watched her, hurting and fearing.

Marianne watched her and couldn't find in herself a real reason to turn her away.

"Then… I'd like for you to tell me about your childhood, about your parents, about your… people." That last word was strange to say for Marianne. Was it people, was it species, was it race? She couldn't tell. She knew that Hilda had had plenty of opportunities to hurt her, and the only reason she was caught was because she turned in her sleep and decided to sleep across her chest. The woman was well aware that her girlfriend was still the same, yet she had hidden a side of her she feared to show.

Could Marianne call her out without being a hypocrite?

Weren't they all just hiding away the sides of themselves they didn't find joy or pride in showing around?

She grabbed her hand and, slowly, ran her thumb over Hilda's tense and closed fist. Her beautiful pink hair had lost her lust, her eyes were tired and her frame trembled every second. It could be a side effect of her turning from human to wolf to human again. Marianne wondered these things, her mind running through what could make somebody that looked so human so different from her without her permission. A rather scientific curiosity arising from the depths of her mind.

Hilda looked up to Marianne, allowing herself to feel hopeful for the first time in that morning since she was able to turn back and get Marianne to sit down with her to listen to her explanation.

The tall woman offered her a shy smile, enough to warm her soul and free it from the sharp thorns that had pierced it and wounded it all morning.

"Dorothea...?"

"She… She is as well, that's a complicated story..."

"Ingrid needs to know."

Oh.

That was going to be even more complicated than telling Marianne, Hilda supposed.

But, at least, that was Dorothea's task to overcome, not hers.

* * *

The red light was taking longer than it was allowed to, she swore to the goddess. Her fingers twitched in the steering wheel and a sigh was trapped in her throat. It had been a long day.

A really long day.

She had driven through the city several times with the sirens blasting and the gas pedal pressed down to the floor. It seemed like the public had gone insane that day, several accidents and incidents that made her outmaneuver cars through the heavy traffic of the morning rush and the lunch madness. Ingrid hadn't gotten out of the ambulance yet, but she was sure she had scrapped the right side with a street lamp trying to squeeze through to make it in less than ten minutes to the hospital.

It had been a good day, too. They had always made it in time, just a second before it was too late. Mercedes and Annette had been brilliant, tireless, and efficient. The back of the ambulance was, despite everything that had happened, organized and clean enough to receive a new patient if they needed to. That wasn't the case, Ingrid needed to drive them to the hospital, restock the ambulance, and hopefully park it for another shift.

Her stomach rumbled while she still waited for the light.

They hadn't had the chance to eat anything at all amidst the chaos. Annette was laying on the back of the ambulance, completely exhausted. Somehow Mercedes still had enough energy to be seated upright in the passenger's seat and look forward with a calm expression that was the vivid embodiment of her inner strength and unshakable, strong nature.

Her right hand ghosted over the shift stick. She should be allowed to blast the sirens and get them in record time if it meant getting something to eat. Ingrid tended to get in a bad mood if she didn't get lunch.

Let alone if she didn't eat lunch or a good breakfast.

"Finally..." Ingrid muttered, putting the car in movement with a displeased pout. Her phone had buzzed all day, messages coming and crowding her notifications with words she couldn't read or answer until she had eaten something and gotten out of her uniform. She knew Dorothea's words awaited her there.

She itched to open the messages and read them. Her mind supplied so many different possibilities she wasn't sure what to pick and what to expect. Dorothea had been talking about the auditions she had applied to and the plays she wanted to participate in when Ingrid prepared breakfast for them yesterday’s morning. She wanted to listen to her melodic voice talking about her likings and her wishes. Ingrid wanted to sit next to Dorothea and just get lost in the ocean of her voice and her words without needing to understand them to enjoy them.

"What a day, right?" Mercedes hands played with the window's switch without really touching it. Ingrid knew it because she could see it by the corner of her eye. "I wish emergencies were better distributed across days, don't you?"

"Absolutely, but I suppose that's part of what makes our job interesting, isn't it?"

"That's true… but I surely missed my break, didn't you?" Mercedes only answered with more questions when she had something in mind and a mission before her eyes.

Suddenly, Ingrid's throat felt so very dry.

"Well, of course… I think Annie needed it more than us." The image of the young paramedic sleeping soundly in the back of the ambulance was endearing, even if she could only see it for less than a second in a quick glimpse of her rear mirror.

“Poor Annie, she was our player of the day, wasn’t she?” Annette barely moved at the mention of her name, mumbling something about extra doses of painkillers. She had run all day non-stop, pushing stretchers and yelling orders to her colleagues while still being kind to their patient of the moment. Ingrid could drive over a hundred kilometers per hour in the crowded streets of Derdriu, but she didn’t know how the petite woman managed to multitask so brilliantly when somebody’s else life or wellbeing was on the line.

“She’s exceptional, it’s easy to forget by how joyful she is all the time.” Another red light, another rumbling of her stomach. It shouldn’t be a long drive back, less than ten minutes. It seemed like an eternity. Ingrid’s knuckles started to turn white as her grip strengthened, her hunger and frustration finding a valve.

“You weren’t behind at all, dodging traffic like a race driver!” Her tone was sweet and smooth. Her words were flattering.

Ingrid felt how she was starting to sweat again.

“I sweated enough to drench these clothes, I’m sorry if I smell…”

“And you didn’t look at your phone all day.” Oh no.

Oh no, she knew.

Of course she knew. There was no way from keeping something from Mercedes absolutely astounding perceptive skills.

“Well, we can’t when we’re working.” It was a poor excuse, but she tried anyway. The light changed and she joined traffic from the small street into the big avenue where the cars speed up no matter the hour of the day.

“Shush, Ingrid, dear. We both know that’s a silly rule…” The gleam in her eyes was telling, she knew. Mercedes knew something and she could imagine what it was. “And you don’t follow it so strictly now…”

“Uh…” Eyes fixed on the road.

Eyes fixed on the road and for the love of everything sacred not in her coworker who must have been sporting the widest smile.

“You’re dating someone, aren’t you?”

“Mercie!” She hit the brakes for a second and the whole vehicle shook with the force of the sudden change in pace. Ingrid kept the nose of the ambulance straight and regained control in a fraction of a second, trying hard to not think in the rubber she had just burned in the street and the honking from different cars as they all had to maneuver to avoid her.

Annette mumbled something in the back of the ambulance where a couple of things had fallen over her.

“So you are, oh Ingrid, dear! Why didn’t you tell us!” Mercedes was delighted, she jumped on her seat and turned to face her.

“I’m not dating her! We just kissed once… or twice…” Ingrid hissed, tilting forward and gritting her teeth.

“Kissing? Oh my, that’s really serious when it comes to you!”

“Mercie!”

“Oh, stop it already, you know a glacier moves quicker than you in a relationship.” Mercedes laughed, leaning back in her seat. “Please do share more!” She kept her voice quiet, respecting their coworker sleeping on the back.

Ingrid thanked her mentally, but she believed Annette wouldn’t wake up even if she managed to crash the ambulance into a bakery.

“Her name is Dorothea. She’s from Enbarr and arrived a couple of months ago to Derdriu…”

“What does she do? Do you have pictures of her?” Ingrid was sweating so much again, she’d need to stay under the cleansing and warm stream of the shower for ten minutes just to get the embarrassing feeling out of her skin. Reluctantly, groping with her hand by memory to keep her green eyes in the car in front of them, she handed Mercedes her phone and fumbled with the locking pattern to give her access to her applications.

“Look for the profile picture in the texts. Please, don’t read them, I haven’t yet…” It sounded more to a plea than she liked. Mercedes nodded minded absently, navigating a phone and a layout she wasn’t used to.

The seconds were painfully slow in the silence that was her search through one of the most precious and personal belongings Ingrid had.

“Dorothea Arnault?”

“Yep.” Five minutes to the hospital. She hadn’t made it in time. Mercedes would get everything out of her with all her kindness and gentleness.

“Ingrid… She’s gorgeous! She looks like an actress!”

“Well… She is.”

“Oh?” Mercedes locked the phone, putting it back in the small compartment where Ingrid used to keep it. “Then please tell me more, about this fair lady from Enbarr.”

Ingrid sighed and peeked through the rear mirror. Annette was still sound asleep and she’d be until they shook her awake with the promise of a well-deserved rest or if the emergency line sounded off again. So that was it, time to voice in words what her thoughts had been insinuating in her head in a never-ending story, time to give them a body in the real world outside of the infatuations she could have and allow herself in the depths of her mind.

In the dashboard of the ambulance, she saw that only fifteen seconds had passed by.

Mercedes was in for a treat, as she swallowed and started talking.

And she talked, she talked all that she had kept silent even from Marianne. She talked about the green of her eyes, the fullness of her lips, the shape of her hands. The soft curve of her neck and the mysterious and captivating rocking of her hips when she walked. How every move seemed to tell a story, a word whispered to complete a puzzle Ingrid felt hid answers she had been looking for a long time.

She talked about the passion she oozed when she talked about the plays she liked. Ingrid described how much she liked the way Dorothea would eat ice cream and smile to her afterward like the sweetest reward was still just walking by her side.

Ingrid blushed, gripping the steering wheel to steady her racing heart. She talked about how she felt free to be who she was around Dorothea, who seemed to enjoy her company and her words just for who she was and not what she could offer.

However, Ingrid didn't talk about the wild and untamed butterflies that filled her belly each time she thought about Dorothea, nor about how the floor seemed to disappear under her feet when she saw the actress smiling at her and flipping her hair with a flair that had to be unreal. 

When they parked in the hospital, she had no more words to share and the silence in the vehicle felt warm, cozy, and close. Ingrid killed the engine and just remained there, her mind silent, and her words resonating in Mercedes's ears. She thought she'd feel empty with no words in her head, but instead, her heart felt light and free.

Ingrid had set herself free by accepting what she felt. Naming it would be a different story.

But a different day could be spent on that.

"So, what are you going to do?" Mercedes hadn’t unfastened her seatbelt, making her company and playing those words she had never expected from Ingrid once and over again.

“What do you mean?”

“When are you going to see her again? What are your intentions with her?” Mercedes's kind voice never failed to convey what she exactly meant. She was exasperated by Ingrid’s ineptitude in any relationship.

“Uh… I’m not sure…”

“Well, let’s start with something simpler. What are you sure about?”

“I like her.”

“And…?”

“I’d like to spend more time with her…”

“Okay, that’s good. How would you like to do that?” Ingrid recognized the voice Mercedes used to use with their patients now.

She’d been offended if she wasn’t scared.

“We went out the other day to the Alliance park… and had ice cream.”

“That sounds lovely! So what else would you want to do with her?”

“I’d like to take her out on a long ride toward Edmund province, close to the mountains and just… spend time together.”

“Ingrid.”

“Y-Yes?”

“You’re long overdue some days off, don’t you think?”

“Ah…”

“And the weather is lovely right now.”

“Oh…”

“Yes.”

* * *

“No, don’t sit there!” Hilda caught Marianne before she could sit on the couch in a blink, grabbing her forearms and pulling the woman close to her.

"What is it?"

"That's Dorothea's place." Hilda stated simply. Marianne blinked and understood. A part of her was surprised by how easy it was to understand something when she opened herself to the possibility. Hilda had explained that smells were something that controlled their lives. The seemingly disarrayed state of their apartment was actually carefully crafted so there were lanes and pathways to follow, as well as little piles of things that correspond to one or other only.

It made perfect sense if it was understood using a nose and not the eyes.

For Marianne it still looked as if a typhoon had just made its way through the living room. It was a different territory just crossing the entrance door.

“Should I sit in your place?” Marianne was trying, she was trying to be open and understanding, but there was the slight shade of betrayal she hadn’t been able to shake off her skin still. Marianne knew why Hilda had kept that important part of her sealed away from her. She understood it and shared the same concerns.

Marianne would keep Hilda's secret safe because of the very nature of it.

She feared she wouldn’t have believed her if Hilda had told her without showing her.

But the feeling remained still.

Hilda had lied to her, and she understood, but how could she build the trust and the closeness back up again?

“Yes.” Hilda tugged her gently, letting go of her once her senses told her she was out of Dorothea’s spot on the couch. It wasn’t a big couch, maybe even smaller than the one they had at home with Ingrid, and Hilda sat in front of her on the floor instead of next to her. Marianne raised her eyebrows in a silent question.

“I… I can’t sit there, I’d get Dorothea’s smell all over myself and then I’d need to take a shower.” She tried to smile, lightening the mood and the air between them.

It worked, in a way.

It had been tense in the last couple of days. Hilda could feel it not only in the air and the rather strain words from Marianne, opposed to her sweetness and her softness less than a week ago, but in her scent, the beautiful blue shades hidden in her skin and her smell were now tainted by sparks of dark brown when she doubted of her or took a second longer to figure out what Hilda was telling her.

It hurt her, yes, it tingled in her nose and burned her throat.

It would take time to be back at the same point they were before. Maybe they would never go back again to that same point. Maybe that was the best, one way or another it was a test Hilda would have to go through in every single relationship where she felt comfortable and loved enough.

She had to try, nonetheless, for that was the very nature of love, trying and caring.

Marianne extended her hands over her knees, offering her the comfort of her smooth skin to quench her need of contact. It wasn’t ideal, but it was something. They remained there, in silence, feeling each other’s warmth through their fingertips and in the strained silence that hid so many questions but answered none of them.

Words would be the only way out of that situation, words, and time.

Yet they were elusive to them.

“Ingrid’s taking Dorothea for a getaway.” Marianne said, barely a murmur that broke the momentary peace. It wasn't what they had to talk about, by any means, but it was a start at least. Big conversations didn't need to follow each other closely. Marianne and Hilda needed space to breathe and still enjoy each other's presence. Marianne needed to remember that Hilda was still the very same person.

“Yes, Doro told me. She seemed really excited about it.” Hilda rested her chin on her knees, her hands never letting go of Marianne’s.

“Do you think…?” Marianne didn’t know how to exactly phrase what she wanted to say.

Hilda blinked, curious.

“What?”

She’ll have to try.

“Do you think she’ll tell Ingrid there?”

Hilda squeezed her hands, biting her lower lip.

“I sincerely hope not, can you imagine Ingrid panicking in the middle of a forest?” Hila smiled while saying it, coaxing a giggle from Marianne.

“Oh, knowing Ingrid she could just jump out of the car or ask her how does that work at a physical level…” She said, tilting forward.

“Ingrid could pass by as a werewolf just by how much she eats.” Hilda’s smile grew wider.

“You haven’t seen the rice bags that we keep at home.” Marianne rolled her eyes and faked a displeased pout.

“But I smelled them when we were at your apartment!”

And they laughed and the tension lifted from their shoulders and the worries disappeared for just a blessed second, a single wind of fresh air to clear their blood and fill their lungs.

Those were the moments they needed to cling to when the storm ramped up again. Happiness hid in the simple, small things.

“But seriously, I just hope she understands at least as much as you did… and that she doesn’t turn on her while sleeping.” Hilda leaned back, giving Marianne space to follow that up as she felt best. The woman, still her girlfriend, nodded.

“That’s up to her… and I will support whatever decision she makes. I will miss her however the days she isn’t around. Ingrid hasn’t taken any time off for the longest time.” Marianne let go of Hilda’s hands and looked through the window, the sun setting in Derdriu. “I should get going before it gets darker…”

“Oh, sure, of course.” Inviting her to stay the night was out of the picture, of course. That would need to come from Marianne and only when she felt ready once again. It had been a great feat that Marianne accepted her dinner invitation to start with. Hilda was painfully aware that her girlfriend had given her something too precious to squander, and she hadn’t paid retribution with the same coin.

Hilda got up to walk Marianne to the door and bid her goodbye, pacing back and forth in her heels to keep her energy under control. They stopped right at the threshold, unsure how to say goodbye, again in a silence plagued by things unsaid that weighed in them.

“So… I guess it’s goodnight, right?” Hilda kept her hands behind her back, looking at her hazel eyes through her eyelashes. Marianne's smile was small, but a smile nonetheless. She leaned in and kissed her tenderly.

Hilda was suddenly warm and pleased and tingly.

“Good night.”

* * *

Ingrid pulled up and looked at the house, it seemed cozy and private, things she wished for dearly. Dorothea had grown rather drowsy, falling asleep on the way. Ingrid allowed herself to smile at her, appreciating how beautiful she was even when she wasn’t trying, before grabbing her forearm gently to shake her awake.

Even the way she woke up seemed unrealistic and gorgeous. Ingrid retreated her hand, afraid of what it could do without her consent.

“You’re being ridiculous, you already kissed. It isn’t like she doesn’t like you back… it isn’t as you’re the one afraid of this.”

She liked her back.

And that was, unsurprisingly, terrifying.

“Good afternoon.” Ingrid said to her date. Could she call her date, girlfriend, lover? They hadn’t put a name to their relationship yet.

“Hey, sorry… I don’t remember when I fall asleep…”

“We’re here” She smiled and opened her door, a fresh breath of air filled her lungs, changing her demeanor and cleaning her mind. How she had missed this.

“My, my. It’s gorgeous.” Dorothea got out of the car, closing the door loudly behind her.

“My dad wasn’t the greatest, but he taught me a thing or two about the outdoors and how to pick up a house in the forest.” She had already opened the trunk and started to fetch their luggage. “Here, would you mind opening the cabin while I get this?” Dorothea caught the keys sent her way easily. It helped that her night vision was a bit better than any human could be, even if Ingrid didn’t know that.

The brunette smiled fondly at her, before making her way to try the keys she had received in that foreign house. It was charming how Ingrid made sure to do all the heavy lifting herself, procuring that Dorothea wouldn’t strain over the weight.

If only she knew.

But that was up to Dorothea to say, wasn’t it?

It was the goal, to tell her in the calmest manner what she was and just hope for the best. Marianne had accepted Hilda despite the scare she had gone through due to her friend’s lack of planning. 

Well, Dorothea frowned, Marianne at least was trying to accept Hilda. That said so much more about her than other people.

Why wouldn’t Ingrid accept her when she was such a logical, mind level person? Something churned inside her.

Maybe she was fooling herself, Ingrid didn’t have to accept her, neither like her once she knew what she was. She hoped she would because Dorothea liked her. That was it. As painful as it was, there was no certainty, only hopes and dreams. Dorothea had, in a way, accepted them and prepared herself for the shattering feeling a possible rejection would inflict on her.

The third key was the right one, and the house opened to a myriad of smells that left her mind blank for a second.

Right, a rented house that hadn’t been opened in weeks. She needed to do a tiny bit of cleaning, or her sanity would be tested. Dorothea hurried to open windows and blinds hoping that fresh air, so strong scented with a healthy forest around them, would clear the air before she started her little cleaning frenzy.

By the time Ingrid had carried their bags, Dorothea had opened every window, door, and the vast balcony that was the main source of light in the main room. She could breathe in the scent of pines, oaks, lavenders, verbena, and multiple other trees and bushes.

She had missed that.

“Oh, you already opened this up, great!”

Correction. She was dying to have a taste of a getaway alongside such a beautiful woman.

“You know, the smell of old houses makes me uncomfortable, it smells like abandonment.” Dorothea turned and saw Ingrid looking for the switches to turn on the lights in the room and then the whole cabin. “Come here! This place is amazing!” Dorothea called. She waited, elbows on the fence, looking into the last rays of light from the afternoon. Ingrid drew near her in no time, resting her chin on her shoulder and caressing her arm while she hummed, happy.

“Tomorrow it’s going to be even more beautiful.” Ingrid backed away slightly, letting Dorothea space to turn in her arms, sliding her eyelids shut when the songstress leaned in and kissed her. It was a light kiss, barely a touch like a butterfly fluttering on her lips. It was followed by a second one, a thor, a fourth, each heavier and warmer.

The wet noise when their lips parted after their last kiss brought some sense into Ingrid. She stepped back, panting and licking her lips. Dorothea’s eyes were hazy and foggy. There was want in her sight and Ingrid shivered when she recognized it.

“Would… would you like some tea? Coffee?” Distance was, in a sense, a way to protect herself. Dorothea understood that much. She also understood what she could smell off her scent, green and yellow, spikes of cold blue Ingrid couldn’t control but tried to fight.

She wasn’t ready and the actress knew better than pushing her. Instead, she smiled and winked at her, offering her hand to bridge the gap between them, her heart hammering and her lower belly in flames, tracing lines that made their way up through her sides.

“I’d love a cup of tea.”

Ingrid’s expression changed again to be warm and knowing, guiding her to the small kitchen in the cabin.

Dorothea followed, a shadow flickering in her heart keeping her from enjoying at her fullest.

Until she wasn’t completely honest, everything she said and did would be nothing but a facade. She couldn’t shake that feeling away. She couldn’t bring herself to talk about it either. It followed her through the night, through the warm shower she allowed herself to get to comb her hair and brush all the loose hair away, preparing for the night.

She should count herself lucky, it wasn’t a small thing to sleep in the arms of the one she wanted.

Yet...

She didn’t find in herself to do anything else but curl in her arms and close her eyes. Dorothea couldn’t let herself go, she was lying to Ingrid, she had taken all the generosity, all the love and acceptance, and Ingrid’s awkward flirting comments and had smiled while lying to her.

If anything, Dorothea wasn’t worth all of the attention Ingrid was gifting upon her, and yet.

And yet…. She was helpless.

She took Ingrid's strong hand, the one that kept her close by her chest, and linked their fingers together. Her date’s heart was hammering through her chest, she could feel it in her back as it throbbed despite Ingrid’s attempt to breathe normally. They still were silent. It’d been easy for Dorothea to turn around and kiss her, and just let themselves get connected and intertwined in a physical act that would light words however small and big she wouldn’t have ever thought about before.

It’d been so easy.

She kept Ingrid close, rejoicing in her warmth, in her scent, in the silence around them, in the throbbing heart that told her more about Ingrid’s feelings that the usually short sentences she used to talk to her.

Dorothea had to tell her.

Dorothea had to expose herself.

If she didn’t, she would never be able to cross that line with Ingrid and she would be missing someone she never dreamed she could meet. Someone that was hugging her and nuzzling her neck as she wished her a gently good night.

It was a bittersweet feeling.

Dorothea closed her eyes and tried to sleep, looking for strength to overcome her own inner demons that would never stop howling at her wish for more, at her dare to reach out for more.

The time would come, eventually.

* * *

Ingrid woke up to Dorothea sleeping in her arms. Her slumber was a deep one, as Ingrid moved enough for the woman to shift in her embrace and burrow her face in her chest, but not wake up. She looked at her, blinking away the last traces of her sleepiness, before smiling fondly at her.

She looked so different, yet the same person, her features were imbued by a calmness that got replaced by energy, playfulness, intelligence and so many other things she liked about her. The word she had thought first was love, but she wasn’t ready to say that still, she’d find her courage for that later.

There were things to be done. Her mind supplied a handy list quickly as the heavy fog trapped in the last traces of a dreamless slumber finally lifted from her mind like the mist in the hills when the sun reached the water covered treetops. Breakfast, she needed to prepare breakfast for both of them, some caffeine to start her day. Then she’d need to get a fire started, it was late summer and the mornings brought a chill that could settle in someone’s bones. Even more if that someone was a fair lady that had grown in the warm streets of Enbarr.

She’d need to shower and then…

And then?

Hours, seconds, days. Time could lengthen or shorten, but time was what they had. Time together. Ingrid felt how her blood started to run as her pulse picked up as it had last night. Time to spend alone with Dorothea.

She swallowed.

That could be something, she was sure.

Shaking her head, trying to get out of that mental state, she detangled herself from Dorothea’s sleeping body, gently letting her alone in the bed, with the warmth of her body still held by the sheets of the bed.

Breakfast, that was as good a start as any.

The cabin had a nice kitchen, bigger than hers that was for sure. Ingrid looked for the coffee maker and through the groceries they had got. She liked strong, bitter coffee, enough as to kick her awaken for the next four hours at least. Dorothea had mentioned she liked sweet breakfasts, coffee and milk, chocolate, and blueberry pies. Ingrid was more than happy to provide her all these little things.

Their grocery shop had been big, but Ingrid had a healthy appetite and it seemed like Dorothea did as well. Marianne had mentioned that the three of them, Dorothea, Ingrid, and Hilda, seemed to eat enough as to keep somebody a week. Ingrid thought she was exaggerating.

They didn’t eat that much.

She cut four slices of blueberry pie, almost half of it gone in those slices. Brewing coffee was as natural as breathing at that point in her life, she cracked five eggs and scrambled them with her mind still in the sleeping figure in the main room. They had slept together, Ingrid couldn’t quite remember the last time she had spent the night with a date, even if it had just been sleeping. Sharing her personal space through the night, holding her close, it had been a strange night, her sleep hadn’t been as restful as it could, she had woken up several times in the night to bring Dorothea closer or disoriented as she didn’t recognize the roof on top of her or the woman sleeping next to her.

But she wouldn’t change it for anything.

She’d woken up with the light feeling of being alongside somebody, and she had missed it.

“Hey, that smells delicious.” Ingrid turned with a jar of coffee ready in her left hand and a mug in her right. Dorothea was leaning in the doorframe, a smile in her lips that was sincere and simple. Ingrid smiled in return.

“Good.”

There was a small table against the wall of the kitchen, almost a counter where Ingrid had been setting their breakfast. Dorothea grabbed a stool that was tucked under the table and sat there, thanking Ingrid as she handled her a cup filled with coffee and milk. Ingrid pulled her own stool with her foot and sat down balancing her coffee and a plate filled with scrambled eggs.

“I missed you when I woke up.”

“I’m sorry, should I have woken you up?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m a rather heavy sleeper and…” Dorotha eyed the extensive breakfast in front of them and smiled. “You got up to make breakfast, how wonderful is that?” She tilted forward as she said it and Ingrid had enough mental clarity to realize she was asking for a kiss. She granted it, her tongue tingling with the taste of coffee and milk in Dorothea’s lips.

Her smile was even brighter when they pulled away.

“It wasn’t a big deal...” Ingrid heard herself saying. She was relieved that she was still capable of talking at least.

“Oh, hush. It is a beautiful gesture.” Dorothea scooped a considerable amount of eggs, eating with a delicacy Ingrid wasn’t sure how she managed considering the size of the bite she had just had. “I looked through my emails while I was in bed.”

“Mh.” Her mouth now was full, the sweet yet tingling taste of blueberries filling her tongue and pushing almost everything else to the back of her mind. So delicious, so good.

“And I got an audition! A role I applied for some weeks ago. I had honestly forgotten about it.”

“Mh!” She was still chewing but tried to convey her excitement in those barely articulated groans.

“Unfortunately, it’s this week. I don’t think I can make it…” Dorothea had eaten at least half of her eggs portion while Ingrid still struggled with her bite and keeping up with the conversation. The blonde swallowed, a couple of tears were born in the corner of her eyes by the action, she didn’t mind them, blinking to get rid of them. There was a most important matter to take care of. Ingrid hit her chest once to help her food make it all the way to her stomach.

“Don’t say that! If you applied you must have liked it, right?”

“Well, yes, of course. But I won’t want us to go back just two days after we got here. I’ll have other opportunities apart from this one.”

“Can’t you do it online?”

“I could, but we don’t have great reception and it wouldn’t look flattering for me to try to convince them of my talent while the call is just breaking up every five seconds.” Dorothea smiled, dismissing her worries with a quick wave of her hand. “Truly, I prefer to be here, with you, more opportunities will come…”

The spoon she had in her mouth moved displeased. Ingrid crossed her arms as she looked through the kitchen’s window, pensive. That wasn’t good, Dorothea needed any opportunity she could have to make herself known on the stages of Derdriu. She moved the spoon as she thought.

Internet connection shouldn’t be an issue, it was true they weren’t in the city, but the closest town wasn’t far away and the antenna must be around somewhere. If she could find it…

“Really, darling, it isn’t that big of a deal! New opportunities will come…”

“Yeah…” Ingrid had other plans, however. She looked at the phone she had left on the other side of the room. “But maybe this opportunity hasn’t really passed for you.”

* * *

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Yeah, this will be fine.” She took another picture of the antenna and the metal box with all the specifications of the signal it sent. “I just need to look up some materials…” Ingrid paced around it once more, looking it at its length before turning and nodding at Dorothea. The songstress shook her head but her grin was an amused one. Ingrid had looked up where the closest antenna was, looked at the company's name that had installed it, and made some comments about amplifying the signal for her to have her audition.

“I can have it up and running by today.” Ingrid had said in such a confidence, carefree voice, that she couldn’t do anything but trust in her. And as such, after breakfast, they had wandered through the narrow dirt streets to arrive at the solitary structure. Dorothea didn’t understand that much, but Ingrid seemed happy at what they had found and it was enough to make her happy.

“Let’s go back, we need to buy a tall pole and some duct tape.” Ingrid changed out in the open, she seemed to gain centimeters and her demeanor confidence. She scratched her forearm absently minded, before offering Dorothea her left hand. The brunette took it with an eyebrow raised, listening to Ingrid rambling about how they’d need to have at least a three meters pole to get enough altitude to get the signal clean and clear. She found that she could listen to that voice free of worries and light as she talked about a project all day. Dorothea had to admit to herself she wanted that role, she was dying in excitement to play the mighty Emperor Edelgard, who the legend said had reshaped the continent more in a lifetime than her predecessors in a thousand years.

Yet, she also wanted to sleep alongside Ingrid and wake up in the middle of the forest where they were the only two people around. Nobody there to pry in their privacy, nobody there to change the course of their interactions.

“What are you going to sing for them?” The question caught her lost in her thoughts and she had to blink to think of a proper answer.

“The Emperor’s lonely aria, of course. It’s one of my favorite pieces, it’s part of the play and I have it fairly studied as to sing it without much rehearsal.”

“You’d like me to clear the living room and go for a walk when you’re on the call?”

“Well, of course not!” Dorothea tugged their joined hands, as to chastise her in a playful manner. “What is an artist with no spectators? I’d love for you to be there if you want to.”

“I just don’t want to distract you in any way…”

“Well, Ingrid darling, you distract me every day in the best possible way! So, if I can pull it off with you looking at me, I should be able to manage a theater with a thousand people looking at me.” She joked, hoping for a reaction from Ingrid. The blonde blushed all the way from her neck to the line of her hair, widening Dorothea’s smile. She had a blush in her cheeks as well, but she could forget about that.

The path opened as they joined the main street, their strides quick and their hands joined. Dorothea looked over at the light bomber jacket Ingrid had on her shoulders and was surprised by how unfazed she seemed by the chill wind and the morning dew that had covered the landscape. She had to resort to her rather warm boots and a coat she tended to use in Enbarr’s winters.

Obviously, she was about to get on a ride with Derdriu’s winter.

“You seem really comfortable in this weather.” She said, hoping to gain more insight on her and changing the topic toward Ingrid and her past. The blonde looked around and just shrugged, the curve of her neck was exquisite, Dorothea thought.

“Winters in Faerghus are worse. I got used to them when growing up, even if it’s the southern part of it, it seems like crossing the mountains is enough to get the temperature down.”

“How old were you when you came to live in Leicester?” Dorothea leaned forward, looking for her eyes.

“I did first a year as an exchange student, and I’ve been here with Marianne for five years, something like that, I think…” Ingrid scratched her neck, her eyes looking to the road while she talked. Dorothea had picked up that little gesture, she knew that Ingrid did it when she felt uncomfortable or stressed.

Ingrid had closed herself off to that topic and that much was clear.

Pushing her harder maybe wasn’t beneficial. Dorothea had her own secrets as well, but that wasn’t the moment to share them.

Not yet.

Not quite yet.

Instead, Dorothea kept asking things Ingrid was eager and happy to answer. She talked about the anthena they were to install, the specific specs for the modem they’d need to get, and how to test it.

The brunette would listen to her listing every little thing as if it was the most precious thing in the world. In a way, for Dorothea, it was. Even when Ingrid was on the rooftop, installing a precarious plastic tube and the little artifact that would get her the best shot at getting the role, she couldn’t help but smile and laugh and help.

Dorothea was in love with a dork. A dork with the brightest smile when she accomplished something and cleaned her hands with a rag cloth and a proud air around her.

And it made everything just so much more difficult.

* * *

The aria of Emperor Edelgard was a powerful piece. It was inspired by the big revolutionary of Fódlan, back when the continent was ruled by the church's laws. Despite the reach of her actions, the aria had strophes dedicated to Edelgard’s love for her people, her land, and her lover. It seemed there was a soft spot in the Emperor made of steel and prone to war. She, who had ramped her way through the battlefield casting all traditions aside, had caressed and cherished the love of her life so brightly that it was remembered to this day.

It was exactly what Dorothea needed to show her true potential. When playing the red Emperor any actor could embody her unwavering will and her commanding presence.

That was something anybody could achieve.

She needed to deliver something more.

There was a duality in the character, richness and so many layers and dimensions other than the powerful ruler that changed Fódlan. That was what Dorothea needed to show.

The duality of Edelgard the Emperor and Edelgard the lover. She needed to portray Edelgard the human. Dorothea could do that, she thought, breathing in deep and preparing mentally for the task she was about to perform. Ingrid had cleared the living room for her, staking furniture against the wall and just leaving the carpet and a char she was using to sit backward, her chin resting in her arms and the chair’s back.

Ingrid looked at her, expectantly.

Dorothea smiled and blew her a kiss. She would deliver for her the greatest of her performances.

Her internet connection was, somehow, better than at home. She was marveled by what the blonde had achieved in just an afternoon. It worked perfectly when she clicked on the invitation and the call connected through her personal computer, soon she was in front of the director and other actions.

The only spectator that mattered was Ingrid.

Showtime.

Dorothea closed her eyes and when she reopened them, she was a different person.

Before Dorothea even started, simply by straightening up, the air changed around her. Dorothea's presence filled the room and Ingrid knew she was about to see something amazing.

The aria was a little less than five minutes long, the songstress had told her what it was about. A song intertwined in old worlds she could barely comprehend, but felt resonating in her chest regardless. Unknown to her, she held her breath waiting in expectation.

And Dorothea sang, her voice a tide that grew slow, steady, strong. A powerful presence that filled the room transporting her to a different dimension. Ingrid didn’t notice, but she didn’t dare to move. Dorothea was singing for her, to her. And as the rise of the tides when the moon called them, she was the celestial body that pulled that ocean toward her. The maelstrom of green and red and just a tad of brown that shook the earth and gave wings to her very dreams.

The emerald green of the songstress clashed against the green that reminded of a forest on a summer afternoon.

The weight of her words was enough to ground and burn that memory forever in Ingrid's mind. Dorothea loved her, she said it in her words, she showed it in her actions.

She imprinted it in her voice.

And that voice wasn’t shy, nor cowardly. It was brilliant, bright, light and warm. It vibrated with the same sentiment her heart harbored.

It was a song one voiced but was composed of two.

A story waiting to happen. A decision already made.

Ingrid was in love and, in that room, far away from the city and the noise of her worries, she heard that revelation in every throb of her heart.

Ingrid was in love. And her love was bound to be a brave one. Dorothea would get the role, and when the call was over and Dorothea came back to herself, instead of the mighty Emperor of the past, Ingrid would spin them both with Dorothea in her arms. They would spin and laugh and kiss, for a moment all of their worries buried under the bright light of the newfound closeness.

For a moment, as a shade of dark brown was still to be uncovered.

* * *

She was running out of time. The week was almost over and she hadn’t said what she wanted to. Her hands moved on their own, dismantling the improvised antenna she had set-up a couple of days ago and throwing the plastic pole to the ground while keeping the little artifact that worked to capture the signal.

Dorothea was quick to collect it and give her a thumbs up.

Ingrid almost jogged the ladder down to be back at her side.

So little time, so many things she wanted to say, words so elusive to her mind.

The day passed by like a dream. She barely kept record of what she did, her head in the clouds instead than on the ground. They had shared meals, walks, lazy afternoons and mornings and simple conversations.

Serious topics had been discussed alongside the smallest of things. Ingrid had told Dorothea how she used to play with her siblings when she was just a kid when there were no worries in the world. She told her about her days driving the ambulance, about her coworkers and the love for the labor she performed every day.

Ingrid would talk about her weekends with Marianne, when both of them just watched television or cooked together talking about their weeks and their worries.

In retribution, Dorothea would tell her about her time on the stage, the lights warm and blinding embracing her and elevating her to a different realm. She'd tell her about the open streets of Enbarr, the tall buildings and the history embroidered in each corner of the city, in every building old enough to remember the big war. In each sculpture erected to remember those who fell and those who remained.

There were things they couldn't share about their past, not yet. But they were past that first stage where they felt compelled to talk about everything they liked and loved just to get each other better.

Now, a long walk under the afternoon sun sometimes was enough for them. 

Her hands, a bridge to her reality, informed her that she was on the balcony, gripping the fence that kept clueless people like her from falling over. Ingrid blinked and the vast green landscape greeted her.

The wilderness blessed her with a gentle blow of fresh air that cleared her mind and her lungs. Ingrid wasn't quite ready to let go of all of her fears and all of her apprehensions, but she wanted to have Dorothea in her life more than a friend or whatever they were at the moment. She was ready to at least try and, little by little, reach out for more.

Yet, she felt as if she was running out of time.

Ingrid had to ask her.

“Ingrid, dear, you in there?” Ingrid turned, her eyebrows frowning.

Dear? When did Dorothea stop calling her darling as she used to?

Wasn't she taking a shower, too?

Dorothea appeared from the main bathroom, only a towel covering her naked body. Ingrid remained still, drawing a blank for a second. Taking in the shapes and curves she had just dreamed about when her brain wondered without her permission.

Then, in an act of pure instinct and self-preservation, she turned away and jumped out of the balcony, to the forest ground a couple of meters below.

* * *

The fire was warm, cracking, and cozy. Ingrid thought that the tips of her ears were even hotter, What was she thinking jumping out like that? At least she hadn’t hurt herself but it had been so stupid she preferred to think that, in fact, she hadn’t been thinking at all.

Dorothea had laughed once she made sure Ingrid wasn’t hurt.

Really embarrassed, yes, but in one piece.

A log sizzled breaking the science between the two. Ingrid snapped a branch in her hands and threw the pieces in the fire. Dorothea rested on the couch looking at peace, her breathing leveled and easy.

Ingrid was running out of time.

A loud sizzle and a spark.

The blonde turned to face the woman, still sitting on the floor near the fireplace. They exchanged a conversation composed of gestures and expressions. Dorothea was aware how little by little she was getting what she wanted but she didn’t deserve. It settled like a cold, sour ball at the bottom of her belly.

They both, unbeknownst to each other, were running out of time.

Ingrid wondered how to say what she wanted, how to breach that gap she wanted to erase forever.

Maybe, the only way was going for it.

Love must be brave if it ever wished to bloom.

Dorothea shifted on the couch, a similar idea in her mind with a different revelation. They looked at each other, resolution in their eyes as the women cleared their throat and talked in unison, their eyes locked in a match that was never meant to be won. 

“Would you be my girlfriend?”

“I have something to tell you.”

They stared blankly at each other, the words resonating like wild thunder in the storm they had just created in their hearts, rampaging in a stampede that knew of no rules or restraint.

“What, what is it?” Ingrid sat straight up, looking at her with apprehension and fear. Had she misread the situation? Had she fucked this up?

Her heart shrunk in despair.

Had she fucked this up?

Dorothea smeller her fear, her doubt, her anxiety and her own heart sunk to the ground. Ingrid hadn’t done anything wrong, on the contrary, she had been brilliant, caring, understanding and loving.

The brunette had been the one that lied, she had been the one that didn’t deserve any of it. She had sought Ingrid’s hand and, knowingly, she had taken everything she had been offered without thinking about it.

“There’s nothing wrong! Not with you, at least, dear…”

“You don’t like me that way? I’m really sorry if I misread this… I thought that-”

“Ingrid, it’s not that. I want to be your girlfriend.” Dorothea cut her.

She had to do this right.

She had to.

“Then what is it?”

“Would you have a werewolf girlfriend?”

“A… werewolf?”

_ A werewolf? _

What was Dorothea even talking about?

“I’m a werewolf…”

Ingrid didn't look taken aback as she had expected, she didn't look disgusted or pained or weird out. Not even scared.

It seemed like she was just processing one situation at the time, never multitasking her mental processes and, right now, she was asking her to be her girlfriend.

Dorothea felt lost, instead of reassured.

What if Ingrid didn't even believe her? Would she be willing to turn just to show her. Dorothea had enough self-respect to know she shouldn't.

She had enough self-awareness to know for respect to herself she shouldn't even relationate with people that ask that of her.

“But you still want to be my girlfriend…?” The question was the most ridiculous thing in all of their dialogue so far.

“Well, of course, dear, I thought that much was clear. We’re here in a romantic getaway after you just did the most amazing of things to help me out… But… that doesn’t change who I am.” Dorothea's voice, usually so rich and sure and strong, had lost its strength, consumed by the galling thoughts of old betrayals and fresh rejections.

She loved Ingrid, and that didn't make it easier.

In the maelstrom of her mind, she couldn't find a single light, a secure harbor to hang to. She couldn't read the scent of Ingrid, too consumed by her own racing fear blossoming in her skin as tainted flowers watered by despair.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Ingrid looked at her and saw Dorothea so far away from what she usually projected. She was vulnerable and scared.

She seemed lonely.

Her heart ached to embrace her.

Ingrid didn't understand a single thing about the werewolf affair. Was it a codename for something? was it a strange sickness she knew nothing about? Was it the real thing as a fairy tale and Dorothea could turn into a two meters tall bloodlust beast? If that was the case, she had had plenty of opportunities to shred her to pieces under the full-moon in the forest when the two of them laid together at night. Dorothea looked mortified, her green eyes at the brink of tears. 

Ingrid realized that wasn't the moment to think about that. She would have time to learn later, she supposed.

And, Ingrid knew something more, something she had learned the hard way many years ago. She was bound to hear the story before deciding on it.

“Okay. I learned a long time ago to never judge people for what they can’t change.”

The fire sizzled again.

“But… can you please explain the werewolf thing to me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I just wanted to write a fluffy silly story and I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED SEND HELP PLEASE I NEED A MOMENT WHY ARE WE TOUCHING FEELINGS AND GOING IN DEEP CHARACTERS.
> 
> *sips mate*
> 
> In any case, hope you like it. Enjoy and leave kudos and comments please, would love to hear from all of you!


	5. We dream together (or, you’re the moon in my sky)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But that night, as time made its way relentlessly, and their waiting became a worried one, and then an anxious one, Dorothea and Hilda never came back.

Hilda pulled up in front of Marianne's apartment killing the engine and fetching her cellphone to text the women and let her know she was there. It was the Sunday when Dorothea and Ingrid were to come back to Derdriu. Her roommate had texted her early in the morning a single line.

"She knows."

Hilda buffed just by remembering it. Dorothea had to be dramatic all the time, right? The werewolf unclenched her fists from the steering wheel. At least it meant it hadn't been bad, if not her friend would've said something more. Now they were both in the open, their secrets not only theirs anymore.

Marianne appeared from the door and waved, making her way toward the car.

Hilda wanted to believe that wasn't a bad thing. Having more people to share one's burdens meant not being alone in the world. It had been so long since she had anybody else but her family.

"Hey, Mari!"She leaned to her, happy to get a kiss as a greeting. "Looking beautiful as ever!" A wink and her complement made her girlfriend blush.

Good, she was getting back there.

Even if Marianne had been to her apartment, she hadn't invited Hilda back to hers. It was fair, she supposed, she'd need time to trust Hilda back as she did before.

"Thank you, Hilda, you… You look lovely." Her voice, soft and gentle, had acquired again the kindness and warmth she kept only for her. More importantly, her blue scent was back again the same as before. It made the werewolf indescribable happy to get in the car every day and be blessed by the lingering traces of her aroma, the never-ending warmth and richness of her blue scent only Hilda could truly appreciate and admire.

Hilda would need to clean the car thoroughly, however, once Dorothea was back, or her friend wouldn't let it go and would use it against her every single time.

"I got a text from Ingrid yesterday."

So Marianne knew. She could play dumb still.

"What did she say?" Hilda started the car and she tapped quickly on her screen to pull up the GPS showing her the best way to the movies. There was a movie Marianne wanted to watch and she was more than happy to indulge her.

"She jumped from the balcony."

A silence just a second too long.

"She did what again?"

"She jumped from the balcony." Her girlfriend repeated, hiding a giggle behind her hand. "And… she knows, Dorothea told her."

The werewolf woman sighed. They were clean, they were ready to build it back up again. They were out in the open free of secrets to hold them down once more. Right?

"Did she tell you anything else?"

"That we should talk about it once she's back home."

"Yeah, Doro will want to talk about it too..."Hilda was scared to follow up that line of conversation. She pushed forward nonetheless. "Do you want to talk more about it?" It could be that Marianne asked her questions she couldn't quite answer. It could be that Marianne was slowly realizing what it really meant to be with her and share as much time as they felt like.

It could be that Marianne realized she didn't want Hilda with all that luggage behind her back, with a past so intricate in unknowns and a family just as weird as the woman herself.

'I will, eventually… but now, I'd like to just watch this movie with my girlfriend." Marianne patted her forearm, a reassuring smile on her face.

Hilda couldn't do anything else but smile back, hopeless over the butterflies that filled her up when hazel eyes locked up with her pink ones.

"Of course! Whenever you feel like it! I'm here for you!"

Hilda had been relieved that Marianne was still there day after day. She knew she had hurt her, she had shattered part of her trust and yet Marianne was still there, Trying. Marianne was there and, under the open skies of Derdriu, she could call her name and introduce her as her girlfriend freely.

Marianne kissed her when they arrived and held her close through the movie.

Time and patience.

That would be the two key aspects they'd need to weather the storms they couldn't see but that were to come.

The storms they couldn't see but were bound to cross their path and rock their ships threatening to capsize and sink them in the ocean of unknowns and 

* * *

Ingrid was, above anything else, a practical person. She relied on logic more than Marianne and had a harder time to understand her feelings in her fixation to dissect them, just comprehend them from a rather cold, practical approach and never truly embrace them.

It meant that she was able to understand a situation to the detail, never failing to notice the small parts, the vital information that composed the whole where the truth dwelled to the point where explanations weren't needed. But all that mental process kept her from truly understanding her feelings and what different situations stirred up on her.

She knew this was a weakness of her. She never gave herself enough space to be alone with her thoughts. Ingrid, however, found out she tended to go over things in a calm, not judgemental manner when she was driving alone. Only the road and soft music to keep her company to her thoughts. She turned on the blinkers to get out of the small road she had taken before and keep driving through a highway that was mostly empty.

A werewolf, uh?

Dorothea slept soundly on the passenger's seat. 

Ingrid still wasn't sure what to make out of it. They had spent hours talking that night. She had learned about Dorothea more than she had hoped. The woman had lost her mother when she was small, too small to know what she was and how to control it. She had been left alone in a world that wasn't ready for her at an age she could barely fend for herself. Her mother, Dorothea had said, was a normal human and, as such, she couldn't teach her anything about her inner animal.

"She said she would be there to help me understand myself when the time came…" Dorothea had smiled. "I think she wanted to… I choose to believe she wanted to."

What a cruel world to walk on.

Ingrid bit her lip and gripped the steering wheel. In her mind, she could just see a little girl alone and lonely. Clanless, Dorothea had said, wandering in the streets of Enbarr with an empty belly and no one to look up to. Her father had always been absent, a figure she could never recognize, a man she didn't want to reach out to.

He was the werewolf, the one that wanted children to continue his dynasty. Dorothea was a late bloomer and she didn't show any signs upon being born, enough for him to just disappear never minding he had just brought a little girl to the world that needed all the help she could get.

Asshole.

It had been a streak of luck that Holst found this little clanless girl lost in the streets of Enbarr and had taken her to his clan and his family, to his sister who was almost the same age as this kid.

The Goneril clan.

Dorothea hadn't talked too much about that, she had said those weren't her secrets to tell, but it seemed like the clans weren't prone to share their stories. She supposed it was fair, Ingrid had her own secrets she preferred to keep close.

This was a picture she'd need to puzzle alongside Marianne. That was new, as well, Mari knew but couldn't tell or, at least, she had given Dorothea a moment to actually tell Ingrid herself.

Ingrid still had about an hour of driving.

Despite everything that had been said and shared, and the questions had been asked and Dorothea answered, they had slept together in a tight embrace that felt more intimate than anything they had done before. How different was this? How different did knowledge make her?

They could still go out for ice cream and a walk in the park, right?

Dorothea still wanted to be her girlfriend.

The curves in the highway were soft, the steering wheel barely moving to take them just right.

Ingrid asked herself if she needed anything else.

Ingrid asked herself if she wanted anything else.

Her girlfriend shifted in her sleep, mumbling something that had no meaning. The driver smiled looking at her from the corner of her eye. She was gorgeous, not only that, Ingrid fel that she was accepted and understood by her.

Maybe she didn't need anything else.

A quick, sour, and coward thorn jabbed her side. A painful reminder of her past. She wouldn't have any problems explaining her relationship with her friends or family. Ingrid didn't have a true relationship with her parents or a fluid conversation with her siblings. The fact that her girlfriend was a werewolf wouldn't affect her life at all, more so if her roommate had the same predicament.

It made her feel like the praise she had received from Dorothea before was misplaced. What a bitter feeling.

The lights on the highway were constant.

She had learned to stop judging people a long time ago. Dedue had been her teacher and her lesson a bitter one, one she still felt ashamed for.

Was she especially understanding if she didn't have to explain it to anybody else?

She wasn't sure, but there was only one way to find out.

* * *

Everything was easier to face when you had a friend nearby, even more, when that friend was going through the same as you. Marianne set a cup in front of Ingrid and sat next to her on their couch, a mug of steaming tea in her hands.

Yes, it was easier, more so when they were both dealing with the unknown.

Ingrid drank from her cup, dark coffee as Marianne knew she liked it and could now make it in her sleep after years living together. It was a Saturday afternoon, and instead of grocery shopping to restock their pantry that had been assaulted by two hungry wolves and a human, they were sharing time looking at their tv that put soft music in the background.

There were things more important to talk about than going grocery shopping.

“So…” Ingrid struggled with words, she always did, her mind racing through a completely different pace and leaving the words it formed far behind.

“You jumped from the balcony in the cabin.” Marianne’s humor was so present in her voice she could’ve touched it.

“Oh, don’t remind me, those were two meters at least and it hurt…” She groaned, rubbing her face. Her ears were turning red. “Dorothea called me from the balcony and her towel fell, I ran so fast toward the forest I was lucky I didn’t fall in my face first.”

“Oh, Ingrid…” Her giggle was endearing, as always, and Ingrid faked a pout at her. It was always a good thing to see Marianne happy, even if they had things to clear out.

“I’m happy to provide you entertainment… now. How long have you known about Hilda?” The question came out rougher than she intended, she didn’t mean to accuse Marianne for keeping secrets that weren’t hers. Yet a small part of her felt betrayed by her friend.

And it showed, as Marianne sobered up immediately and her eyes lost their lust to turn into an apologetic look fixed in the floor at their feet.

“Not long, the night Dorothea stayed here… I… “ She fidgeted her fingers, fighting to get the right words out of her lips without her voice failing on her. “She transformed in the morning while she slept…”

“She transformed… after sleeping with you?”

“Yes…”

“As in, _sleeping with you?”_ Ingrid tilted forward looking for Marianne’s eyes, she averted her gaze pointedly.

“... yes.” Marianne’s voice was small and a contrast at how hard her ears had turned red.

“Wow, way to go, Mari.”

“Ingrid!” The doctor smacked her in the shoulder and Ingrid laughed, breaking the tension they had fallen in. Just the years they shared together as friends would allow them to do that so easily and effortlessly.

“Still, I was very surprised… and we talked that morning about it.” Marianne took her mug back again from the cupholder on the coffee table. “I asked her to let Dorothea know she’d have to tell you soon or I was telling you… I didn’t know you already had moved toward that kind of relationship.”

“To be fair, we kissed that night for the first time…” Ingrid scratched the back of her head with her left hand, her right holding her cup tight. “And it isn’t like we were a couple when we left either…” Now she was scratching her forearm. Marianne looked at all those twitches and left her cup once more to grab her left hand in between hers.

“It’s okay, Ingrid. This is our safe space, isn’t it?” Marianne told her exactly the same Ingrid had told her years ago when the woman was starting to open up to her completely, telling her about her past and her fears and demons.

“Right… I just… feel weird around her, you know? I feel like she is different, like…”

“Like you want to spend years by her side?” Marianne sighed, finding in Ingrid the same feeling her heart harbored despite everything that had passed and her better sense. “I know. I think we’re falling in love with them.”

They remained in silence, looking at the opposite wall, no questions answered but so many feelings out there in between.

“So now what?”

“We could buy them a really big dog bed whenever they need to stay the night.” Marianne supplied, grabbing her cup of tea and looking unfazed at Ingrid’s cooked eyebrow. “Haven’t you thought about it?”

“Isn’t a dog bed a bit insulting for a wolf?”

“Oh, I thought Hilda was this huge pink dog at first. You can’t really tell that much the difference unless you know the differences.”

“I haven’t seen Dorothea transformed yet… but I trust you, let’s not tell them that though.” Ingrid leaned back, smiling and drinking from her cup, fully aware that the little banter was just composed by jokes they could share just between the two of them. 

“You could pass by one of them just by all the food you eat, Ingrid…”

“Mari! I just have a healthy appetite.”

“You eat as they do, and they need a thousand calories extra.”

“Did Hilda tell you that?”

“She did, I want to do some researching to find the main differences between our bodies and theirs but I wonder if that would be disrespectful…”

“I think you already examined her.”

“Ingrid!” Oh, sweet revenge, Marianne almost choked in her tea and even her neck was blushing now.

“Remember that time out, when we had that first double date?” Ingrid thumped her friend’s back, patting her distracted as Marianne’s breathing went back to normal. “Hilda acted really protective that night…”

“Oh, I think that’s something that has to do with their territory.”

“And Dorothea opened the house completely when we arrived, smells must be an issue for them too.”

“I think so, yes, but again, I wonder how it works. Hilda is really strong too…” Marianne decided that almost dying once a day was enough and left her tea until their conversation wasn’t about those difficult topics. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just…”

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your place to tell. I understand. We’re good and I’m good with Dorothea… are you okay with Hilda?” Ingrid had had time to go over it, approaching the situation from a logical perspective and deciding that what she received was so much more than the fact that her girlfriend seemed to be a mystical creature from a fairy tale and her roommate’s was the same. Ingrid couldn’t think of Hilda and Dorothea as some kind of big bad wolf waiting the right moment to swallow them whole, but just in two women that liked art, eating dinner out, and weren’t really that great at driving.

Those weren’t mean monsters, just people trying to live their lives.

“I suppose… I’m just…”

“Mari…”

“I just felt betrayed but, haven’t I kept things from her too?” Marianne shifted on the couch, looking for the remote to change the song to the next one on the TV. “I’m just taking it slowly as I regain back my confidence and get my courage to tell her more things about myself…”

“Marianne.” Ingrid waited patiently to her friend to look at her, her eyes covered in the thin layer of shame she knew so well. “That’s completely okay, and you have me, I will always support you in whatever you decide.”

“Ingrid…”

“Even if we need to leave the country if they have to silence us after knowing their dark secrets.” She smiled while saying it, realizing how true or how ridiculous it could be. The situation didn’t grant a solution in the middle, really.

Marianne smiled at her and opened her arms, asking for a hug that gave her air to keep going. Ingrid was always able to cuddle her in her arms and imbued her with a strength Marianne sometimes forgot existed and thrived in her chest. They remained like that for minutes, giving each other the encouragement they needed to keep facing each day, to keep moving forward in a world that seemed to move in all directions all the time, never settling in one.

Yes, everything was easier to face, to conquer, to discover, and to accept with a friend nearby. More so when that friend was ready to hug you when things turned south and the world seemed to turn off its hinges for days and days alike.

Marianne was a blessing for Ingrid, Ingrid was a blessing for Marianne.

Together, they didn’t need anybody else, as each of them was a whole person ready to face whatever life could throw at them. Together they were a team that could never be brought down.

Together they could strive for more.

Together, they could tell each other they deserved love in all its shapes and colors.

They deserved the love Dorothea and Hilda were eager to give them, no questions asked. 

* * *

It was the first time she had been in her room since the big reveal. Hilda looked around taking in her surroundings and basking silently in a room that was completely covered in Marianne's traces and scent. A space that breathed as much as Marianne did.

Hilda wanted that in her life so badly. Yet she had to wait.

She had to be patient.

She owed Marianne that much at least.

"Would you like us to go out every now and then? Ingrid and Dorothea had taken a liking to going out that I never thought I'd see in Dorothea, she really really reaallyyy likes to be comfortable."

"Oh, I'm sure Ingrid doesn't mind doing the heavy lifting for her. They make a good team, don't you think?" Marianne left her backpack and her hospital coat on her bed, a tired sighed escaped her lips as she did so. Hilda came to her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Maybe some time off? You look exhausted..."

"It's been a rough week..." She turned and hugged her, letting Hilda support most of her weight with a thankful hum of appreciation. Hilda rubbed her hands through the length of her back and closed her eyes as she felt Marianne leaning in her more and more. Her skin was warm and her fingers curious, it was almost as the warmth invited her to go just a bit more.

Hilda knew better than to push her own projections into Marianne's actions. She knew better because she could smell her true intentions and felt the comfort and the closeness but, despite it all, there was still some reticence that the woman couldn't shake herself from. It hurt Hilda to think she was the cause of it, yet she also knew better than to lie to herself.

"You can tell me you aren't ready for that kind of commitment, it's okay! I know… I know you need time and that I wasn't honest with you..." Hilda let her go, accepting Marianne's hands in hers with a smile that was tainted by sadness. "I know I hurt you and you have the right to judge me for that..."

Marianne tugged at their hands and made her look at her. Hilda's face was surprised and soft. Marianne wanted to kiss her, but she kept the distance.

There was something more important to say. A conversation they had avoided for too long.

“I can’t judge you by what you are and why you kept it from me, Hilda. You’re beautiful, amazing, kind… You’re the person I’ve been falling in love with since our first date…”

“Then, what is it? What's keeping you from me?” It was more a beg than a question, Hilda hated the sound of her voice so weak and pleading, and yet couldn't change it.

Marianne's scent was now engulfed in pain and fear.

“I… I am a monster, or at least I felt like one for the longest time… My parents…” Marianne stopped, unsure how to continue, unsure what to say to explain herself. She was her own monster, she carried that in her pockets, she had it carved in her shoulders, a mark heavy and painful that tore her apart little by little whenever it woke up. She had been doing better, but the animal only slumbered, never quite gone, never quite willing to leave her alone.

She didn’t know how the loneliness felt, she was always with it.

Her shadow, her monster.

Herself.

"Mari..." Hilda opened her arms and received the weight of the woman in them. She was strong enough to keep her secure and safe while she opened up and exposed the most vulnerable part of her soul, that little something that, in a way, made Marianne herself and that she hid from the world.

"There's an old legend in my family, one that says that my family is cursed and my blood doomed. I don't want to believe it, but all my blood relatives are gone. My parents were gone when they were looking for something better for us. My uncle was gone when a horrible sickness took him away. I just have Ingrid, Claude and… and now you."

"You will always have me."

"Hilda, you can't promise that, and you shouldn't without knowing all the implications… if you're a werewolf then things I didn't consider possible exist and then… maybe… maybe it's true, maybe I am a monster. Maybe my blood is cursed as they said so many times before."

"Mari, you aren't a monster, there's anything else further from the truth… if you want to see what a monster looks like, then you need to look at me." Hilda let go of her, putting a couple of meters between the both of them, both of them in opposite extremes of Marianne's room. She smiled at her girlfriend, a smile that couldn't hide the pain, the sadness, the loneliness.

Hilda still believed, in a small place in her mind, that she wasn't allowed to live in between humans when she could oh so easily snap their necks and end their lives if she ever wished to do so. Marianne moved to come closer, but Hilda stopped her with the sole intensity of her eyes.

"This is what a monster looks like, Mari." One last human smile and Hilda turned her inner eye into herself, looking for something she had buried so deep it was hard to find and almost impossible to pull at will. She tugged at the strings in her heart that howled their very nature and grabbed them willingly for the first time in decades, feeling the rush of adrenaline and the quickening of her heart as her muscles twitched and her smile transformed into a snarl.

That was a monster.

It was hard for Hilda to explain the feeling, the rush, the hot intoxicating mantle that covered her when her genes woke up and she let go of her humanity. For a second her mind was blind, there weren't feelings, emotions or thoughts, there was instinct and the undeniable pleasure of turning into what she wanted to be so bad at the very bottom of herself. There was joy in turning, there was rush, there was excitement.

There was danger.

It was intoxicating, a sensation she never grew tired of, a feeling she never wanted to stop rejoicing in.

For all of her self-restraint when it came to her transformations, Hilda knew something very simple.

She loved turning and the feeling of being something completely different. She was an addict to that rush of adrenaline and wilderness and something more.

It scared her.

When her ears perked up and her tail escaped through her clothes Hilda knew she was done. Still, a quick shapeshifter, as her brother used to say. Easy for her to turn into the inner beast they shared. Her eyes were kind and gentle, ready to flinch and escape if she were to see deception or terror in Marianne's eyes when she looked for them. It was difficult, however, to take that last step. The first step and the last seemed to always be the worst for her.

They remained in silence, in the soft light of a summer afternoon, when fall was starting to cover them as a heavy blanket, a reminder of how time was precious and limited and that the new year was about to find them once more, now different people as experience and seasons had changed them once more.

"Hilda," Marianne called for her, and she looked, and she followed, because her voice, silk and satin, was an oasis in the middle of the desert. It was the spring of joy Hilda never wished to leave, the only means to quench her thirst and look how time changed her and polished her into the truest shape of herself. Maybe it was the first time her eyes, still pink, were leveled to the hazelnut that spoke to her in a silent language in Marianne's eyes. Her paws, she made a point to not look at them, took her to her side on their own. They knew better than herself what she wanted.

As a wolf, Hilda was tall enough to rival Marianne who was sitting down. She was a big one, not the biggest, that was Holst, but her size was bigger than the rest of her clan. That was the only reason she was allowed to go on her own into a territory that could've been occupied by other families due to her parent's short-sighted plan. Her muzzle was docile when Marianne touched her cheeks, and then her neck, learning this new form with her trembling fingers unsure of how to caress this new skin, this new body, yet the same person.

 _This is a monster, Mari, not you. You're kind and warm, you're the sun in spring and the breeze from the ocean in summer._ Hilda dropped to the ground, little by little getting closed to Marianne, who accepted her head in her lap, still petting her in a timid gesture. _You're the moon in the sky when the winter bites and the snow covers the land. Pretty, solitary, alone up with no clouds around. Almost impossible to reach, yet there to look at and never lose hope that, someday, my voice could reach you, really touch you, to let you know how much I love the way you laugh, the way you look, the way you talk._

She closed her eyes, intoxicated by the scent around her, by the warmth from Marianne's lap, rocked by the throbbing of their hearts that, somehow, managed to beat as one.

_You're not a monster, I am. Yet I hope to be next to you by your side and… if you will let me, I would shower you with affections, with sweet words and gentle embraces and valiant words and brave actions. I'll kiss you in summer, in winter, under the rain, or in the middle of the night. I'll chase away your demons, I'll give you my secrets to keep and to share and to hold in your hands…_

_I'm a monster but, if you let me, I'd love to be around you just for a little while, just for as long as you'd want._

None of her words reached her, they never would. And maybe that was the right thing, love didn't speak in words, but actions, didn't listen to flowery descriptions, just to what the day to day brought and the reaction to each little gesture Marianne could wake in her.

Hilda remained there, afraid to pull away, afraid to reach for more. She remained there and hoped, with all her might, she hoped that Marianne would tell her her secrets as she had done in a leap of faith she never would regret even if it meant her final demise.

They lingered, together, in silence, feeling the time go by, comforted by their warm and the unspoken promise of a better future they wanted so badly to believe in. 

“I was so naive… I was naive when I met you.” Hilda’s ear flickered when she heard her voice, Marianne tilted forward, speaking only for her, whisperings that little by little puzzled together a story she didn’t like to tell. “I’m still naive for loving you, aren’t I? I’m afraid I won’t ever be enough for you, I’m afraid I won’t ever be enough for myself.

“I’m afraid I won’t ever be free of my own past… So many burdens I don’t want to bother you with, so many insecurities I don’t want you to waste your time trying to reassure me everything is fine. So many fears…” Her forehead was now touching her soft fur, every word muffled against her skin. Hilda didn’t dare to move, supporting Marianne’s weight as her ears registered every word. “I gave myself to you freely, I gave myself to you and then I felt… I felt like I had betrayed myself. I know now that I didn’t, I followed my feelings and I don’t regret it.” Her arms embraced her, and now it was Hilda who was supporting Marianne through the high tide of her emotions crashing against her own confused mind. “I want you, I like you, I think I’m starting to love you… you shouldn’t be with me, and I shouldn’t be with you… Hilda, please, please, tell me this won’t end. Please tell me this won’t end…

“Please tell me you won’t let it end.”

They were animals, they were monsters, they were living creatures. Everything they had found in the way, everything that had hurt them through life, everything that had enlightened in every turn of their days, everything tucked in their pockets away from the eyes of intruders.

Each of them, each of every single one out there, in the city, out in the wild, in the high restaurants on top of skyscrapers, down in the cheapest bar in the city, all of them were monsters, passengers in life.

All of them dancing to their own music, sometimes out of sync, sometimes humming out of tune.

All of them wishing, hoping, for something better.

Hilda had found it there, in Marianne, in the woman as a whole, with her bright smiles, her musical giggles, her bitter tears, her scientific mind.

All of her.

She loved her with no restraints, no conditions, no questions to ask.

Hilda loved her.

She will never let it end.

Was it impossible? Maybe. Was she naive for trying? Absolutely.

Would she stop?

Not even the falling sky would stop Hilda from keeping the silent promise her heart had accepted when she heard the plea in Marianne’s weak, shy, anheling, desperate voice.

No, no one would stand on her way.

No one would keep her from fulfilling her promise.

In the afternoon her resolution was her silence while Marianne kept her arms around her neck and her fur collected her tears and her muzzle rested on the woman’s shoulder. Her resolution was silence and strength and love and devotion. There were stories about wolves that would start their own clans when they found the right mate. There were stories of these strange cases where wolves would leave their families to start their own clan by themselves, madness in a world that didn’t understand them. There were stories of these shapeshifters that had gone against everything sacred driven by something greater they couldn’t explain.

Embraced by Marianne who had accepted her even in the rawest form of her wild nature, Hilda believed those stories. Hilda understood those stories.

Hilda longed for those stories to turn into hers. 

She would see to it until the very end. She would see to never let it end until Marianne wished something different or life met its final day.

Hilda would turn her fangs and her strengths against anyone who tried to strive her away from the light she had found. The lighthouse in the middle of a storm, the oasis across the desert.

Marianne, hazelnut and sky blue, gray and steel, love and resolution. Marianne in her arms every morning, every night. Her lighthouse in the middle of the storm, her oasis across the desert. Her love and her mate. 

Her human.

* * *

Work, home, the streets, the lights. Derdriu in the morning with its rush hour, at noon with an ocean of people to navigate, in the night with thousands of stars to look at.

Coming and going in a never-ending cycle Ingrid knew by heart. She had self-inserted in the maelstrom of activities and routines, finding there actions that fit in her life, giving her a sense of direction and belonging. Driving through the streets she had come to learn by heart, she found a simple life worth living there. Ingrid had found solace in Marianne's kindness, in Mercedes's intelligence, in Annette's cheerfulness. When Dorothea arrived in her life it had thrown her mind in complete disarray, her thoughts racing in overdrive whenever those green eyes looked at her asking for more of what they already had.

Annette had commented on how happy Ingrid seemed when she arrived back from her week off. Mercedes had smiled knowingly and Ingrid had blushed but smiled nonetheless as well.

Yes, her girlfriend was a werewolf, so what?

They all had their secrets to share and to hide. Her girlfriend was also amazing, kind, clever, talented, gorgeous and never ill-intended. She was supportive and respectful of her boundaries, her words positives and her smiles sweet as the honey under the sun of spring. Dorothea had been willing to take things slow, she had asked for consent and how comfortable she was in every step, when they first kissed, when they shared a bed, when she had tried to explain her nature and the fear almost closed her up.

"Ingrid, are you ready?" Marianne knocked on her door before entering, looking refined and elegant in her blue velvet dress she wore for important occasions.

This was an important occasion.

"I'm not sure about this shirt..."Ingrid fumbled with the cuff of the black fabric "am I too serious all in black?"

"That's what accessories are for." Marianne grabbed the collar chain Hilda had made for Ingrid and pint it carefully, the golden-red shone in the same shade as her suspenders. Ingrid waited tapping her boots for Marianne to place the little medals perfectly.

"I just wanna look nice, it's an important night for Dorothea."

"You look astounding and very handsome, when she sees you she'll forget how to talk for a second." Marianne stepped back, satisfied. Ingrid raised an eyebrow, judging her reflection before grabbing her jacket and putting it on her shoulders. "Talk about yourself better. Hilda won't know what hit her when she sees you so elegant and gorgeous!" Her friend blushed and smiled, pushing her shoulder weakly.

Ingrid smiled and fetched her keys as Marianne turned off the lights in the apartment. Dorothea's play premiered that night and they had one of the most important seats in the whole theater, the ones the actress had gotten for them with a wink and a kiss.

Yes, in the streets of Derdriu she had driven in overdrive for months as she learned more of herself in that new plane. Who was Ingrid when she was with Dorothea? She didn't know yet, but she was discovering it, finding new edges and turns every day, learning new things, re-discovering little traces she loved, and had long forgotten with the inevitable numbing of the years.

Months separated in weeks that could be broken into days, hours, minutes and seconds. Time that was shapeless when she was with her. When they talked about the simplest things, about the big problems of life when they sat cuddling watching a show when Ingrid drove them away for the weekend.

At their own rhythm, following their rules, they were discovering the music of their love and living each moment to the fullest.

Her watch told them they were early as Ingrid parked. That was good, she wanted to kiss her amazing girlfriend good luck before the play. The Ordelia theater was one of the biggest ones in the city. People already were gathering around the entrance, all dressed properly for the occasion. Ingrid offered Marianne her arm and they walked to the main gates where Hilda had told them to wait for her.

"I feel so strange in these clothes..."

"Ingrid, stop it, you look great, don't worry that much. As long as you don't use perfume Dorothea will love it."

"Remember that time when we bought an automatic air freshener? Hilda and Dorothea almost jumped out of the windows." Ingrid kept her arm close and Marianne secured as the crowd grew larger around them. The doctor giggled at the memory.

"I like better that time when Dorothea wanted to race your car when we played drinking poker!"

"Oh, Hilda had to wrestle her and suddenly we had two wolves instead of our girls in the living room and then Doro was so shy because it was the first time I saw her as a wolf." Ingrid laughed alongside her friend, all the memories of them learning new things about their particular girlfriends flooding them and warming their hearts. It had been a ride and it would continue to be, but was that a bad thing?

They didn't believe so.

Ingrid was about to add something more when her senses were alerted and she raised her left hand to push away whoever had just invaded their personal space. Her arm, strong and trained, was beaten easily by a small woman with pink hair.

Oh.

Ingrid let go of Marianne so her girlfriend could take her in her arms and swirl her around never minding the people around them that looked surprised at the sudden display of affection.

"Hi-Hilda! Wait"

There was no waiting for a fool in love.

"Our Mari has really got Hilda on her palm, uh?"Ingrid turned and saw Claude, elegant in charcoal and gold, a dazzling smile as always. "Good to see you, Ingrid. I bet Dorothea won't know what hit her when she sees that shirt."

"Claude, nice to see you too."

"Do you want me to take you to the dressing room? You can wish her good luck better than any of us." He winked playfully and Ingrid felt her blushing working its way up her neck.

"Oh, yes! Doro will lose it if she sees you dressed up like this. That collar chain really is a masterpiece and suits you perfectly." Hilda had her arm around Marianne's waist, holding her close.

"Hilda, Claude, please don't be so…” Ingrid couldn't find the word she needed but her ears burned at their comments still.

"Come on, Ingrid. Dorothea will appreciate us dropping by before the play, I'm sure. Especially if she gets to see you." Ingrid almost groaned, if Marianne was with them there was little she could do. Ingrid scratched her neck unconsciously and caught a second sigh in her lips. It'd be best to follow them instead of giving them more time to keep teasing her.

"Lead away then, Claude."The man winked and started walking, through the main entrance and past the hall filled with guests. Claude von Riegan wasn't a big part of their lives, but it was a part they cherished nevertheless. The man was highly influential and a long time friend of Marianne and Hilda. They had seen each other for birthdays and social events and he always seemed comfortable and in control. Ingrid suspected that social awareness hadn't come easily to him, but she didn't ask further. She wouldn't ask him either how he could navigate the theater as an expert while chatting with them and waving at people so easily.

Ingrid tried to keep up with the conversation the trio had but she wasn't truly there. Dorothea would do great, she was sure. Ingrid had seen her rehearsing day after day, going over her lines in the car when she had picked her up the days she finished late at night. She had seen, completely endeared by her eyes, how engaged Dorothea was by their upcoming play. They had gone over the details in their dinners out while eating noodles or when walking in a park with coffee to go.

No, she didn't fear for Dorothea. She feared for how helpless she'd be at her mercy. Ingrid trembled in excitement and anticipation of seeing the songstress, her girlfriend, surrounded by her peers, on the stage, fully in her element and admired by the very theater she had set out to conquer.

The hallways got narrower and the spectators that walked lazily around in the other rooms were replaced by hurried staff that made sure everything was ready for the big premiere. Suddenly, she realized there was silence around her, she looked and noticed her companions smiling silently at her. Ingrid tried to remember what they were talking about and couldn't.

Oh no.

"I see." Claude's smirk was so telling she felt like pushing him away. She buried her hands deep into her pockets instead.

"We're here, do you want to do us the honor, Ingrid?" Claude used his head to point the door at their right. Hilda kept Marianne's hand in hers and her smile was huge. Ingrid sighed and scratched her head again before knocking. There were several voices at the other side of the door, talking in murmurs and laughing out loud. She couldn't make out what was said, but she heard the heeled unmistakable steps of her lover and the door opened, a completely different world was briefly presented to her.

"Ingrid, dear!" Dorothea pulled her in for a hug before she could even register her silhouette adorned by the regalia of the long-gone emperor. "Hilda, Claude, Mari! My, my, I feel honored now!" She let go of the blonde and looked at them all smiles for enough time for Ingrid to really take her in and let her jaw hit the floor.

The goddess had outdone herself the day she drew Dorothea's soft features and bold curves and when she imagined her enrapturing voice. All colors and shapes that filled the world with love and charm and music Ingrid couldn't explain but heard nonetheless. Her red dress was from an era long forgotten which just added to her exotic beauty. Touches of gold in the vivid red made the dress seem alive and she was sure she had spotted a strong white inside the cape, but she couldn't see more because they were talking and she was supposed to be a functional, engaged part of that conversation.

"... nervous?" That was Mari, good, she could join from there.

"Oh, yes, of course! I'll amaze you all still!"Such confidence, such an imposing presence. Oh, she was so in love.

"Of course you will, you're one hell of a talented actress." Hilda let go of her girlfriend to grab her friend's shoulders and squeeze in re-assurance.

"If any of the rumors from Enbarr are true, then we're up for a treat."Claude grabbed both Hilda and Marianne by their shoulders, Hilda looked quickly to his hand on her girlfriend's shoulder and her muscles tensed for a second, enough for Ingrid to notice. Claude led them away and just a quick look between Hilda and Marianne put the first at ease enough as to let him guide them away. Claude winked one last time and they were gone, lazily walking back to the main hall.

She had time with Dorothea and Dorothea alone.

The door clicked softly when the brunette closed it behind her back.

Ingrid swallowed laboriously.

"So..." Her voice was cut abruptly when Dorothea's hand grabbed her collar chain and kindly pulled her in closer.

"So?" She asked, her height difference so present. Ingrid looked at her lips in a tempting shade of red, at her eyes, green treasures she had found (or maybe they had found her) in an ocean of people, a maelstrom of faces that didn't speak to her, and then at her inviting mouth again.

They kissed and said everything words couldn't express. They kissed and dissolved in a conjoint breath wild and whole.

"You look amazing." The brunette murmured when they let go with a smile.

"Just for you, I feel weird in these clothes." Ingrid shivered when those hands now traced her suspenders and Dorothea smiled with so many intentions behind.

"I feel bad now, should we just leave so I can thoroughly enjoy you in these clothes?"

"Uh..." Her mind was blank, was she supposed to answer? She didn't care.

"I know, I can't, I must pay my tribute to the stage, don't I?"

"Later… we still have a long night ahead of us."

"My, my, when did you become so bold? I like it, I must say, Ingrid dear..." Another kiss, a conversation compressed in just three seconds, and a reluctant separation.

"Good luck out there, my love..." Ingrid whispered, setting Dorothea's face on fire and spreading in her face the wildest of smiles. When did she decide to call her that? Ingrid wasn't sure, but she wasn't to find out that moment.

"With you by my side? I don't need it."

A last kiss and she was gone, leaving Ingrid in a cloud she wouldn't quite escape that night. Her feet took her, trembling and shivering, back to the main hall where her friends waited for her. They smiled and guided to their seats and Ingrid knew no more, Dorothea was in the stage, she was fire and decision, she was strength and change, she was the beacon of an era that was engulfed in the shadows of ignorance and pain.

She was everything Ingrid wanted.

She was the woman she wished to hold close, take her hand and show Dorothea her birthplace as she talked about her past and the circumstances that made her who she was.

Ingrid wanted to take Dorothea back to Galatea and show her there the traces that lingered of the city and landscape that forged her personality, her true, essential self.

She wanted to, under the Galatea skies, give herself to the woman she had learned willingly to love.

So erupted she was by her display Ingrid didn't notice how restless Hilda was despite Marianne's hand on her knee and her puzzled look in her hazel eyes.

"What is it?" Marianne asked when Hilda looked around for the fifth time.

"There's something amiss..." Hilda craned her head in all directions, trying to find something in the darkness of the room.

"Do you want to search where it is?" Marianne followed her eyes but failed to find something out of the ordinary.

"No, let's wait for the play to finish..." She whispered, taking her hand and pressing her lips against the back of her right.

Hilda was restless through the rest of the hour and a half, but it wasn't enough to distract them from the amazing performance Dorothea displayed. The werewolf clapped her friend standing, trying to push her worries and what had upset her to the back of her mind. There were two rounds of applause, as the cast returned and bowed before them again. Hilda looked at Ingrid, about to climb the stage to kiss her girlfriend and decided to fetch her friend and get them out of there as soon as she could.

There was something out of place and she wanted out of that room and that building with all of her pack.

"I'll go for Doro." Marianne leaned in to listen to the words that tickled in her ear.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I'll be back in no time. Would you wait for us in the cars? And please don't let good old Claude get under Ingrid's skin! I fear what will become of him if she gets mad."Whatever answer Marianne had to that was silenced by a kiss and Hilda was gone.

The doctor looked at her girlfriend disappearing in the middle of the crowd and sighed, motioning her companions to follow her.

"That was truly something. The rumors were all true!"

"Yeah."

"Come on, Ingrid! I'm sure you have more to say!"

"Uh… She was superb..."

"Enough as to leave you speechless, right? And gorgeous, don't forget gorgeous!"

"Claude…" That was a warning.

"I know, I know." Claude smiled as the fresh crisp air of the night greeted them. "I should go, please extend my congratulations to Dorothea, wouldn't yah?" He closed an eye and tilted his head, crossing his arms.

"Don't you want to wait for them?" Marianne stepped outside the theater, people rushing around them and closing their jackets to guard against the sudden change of temperature.

"No, it's ok. I believe the four of you will be busy tonight." His smile grew and he started to walk backward. "Call me soon! I love hearing from you, my favorite lesbians!"

"Claude!" Ingrid and Marianne scowled back, or tried, a smile fought its way to their mouths still.

"Don't tell Lys I said that!" And with that, he was gone, alongside most of the spectators in the night that started to bite as autumn grew closer every day.

Marianne and Ingrid looked at each other, smiling, and then toward the building waiting for their girlfriends to arrive.

The street was almost empty by now.

There were celebrations due for such an event. Ingrid had gotten reservations for all of them, a long night awaited still for the four of them.

The four of them.

But that night, as time made its way relentlessly, and their waiting became a worried one, and then an anxious one, Dorothea and Hilda never came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you want to know. Mari and Hilda went to watch WALL-E to the movies.


	6. Family can be found II (or, my dad was a dick but you can guess that already.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was so much more careless than Hilda about his nature. Marianne thought she liked him, before blinking away the tears that had been born when she remembered her girlfriend’s hugs.  
> “Come with me, we need you.”  
> “We?”

The collar chain rattled softly with each step, the metal ringing in a tone that just made her desperation feel real and closer. Marianne looked at Ingrid pacing around their apartment and her own throat closed a bit more if that was even possible.

“Mari, what are we going to do?” Ingrid asked, maybe the fourth time since they arrived, grabbing her temples trying to think harder, to find an answer she had overlooked in her agitated state. Marianne looked at her from their couch, she had been biting her thumbnails in an anxious gesture she hadn’t done in years.

But she hadn’t just lost her girlfriend and her friend ever before.

They could go to the police, but what good would that do to them? Their girlfriends were werewolves, they wouldn’t be easily contained or dominated by any human being. They could file a missing person but would the police even care? Two adults that just didn’t show up to their dates after a theater play? That didn’t sound like a pressing matter for the district.

“What did she say? Can you remember anything else?” Ingrid asked again, desperate to find anything that would spark a sudden burst of understanding and genius in her to hop in the car and just get to their missing wolves.

"She said she was fetching Doro and that was it. I don't understand it, Ingrid, she was restless through the play but she said it wasn't anything serious." Guilt painted and stained her voice, her words clinging hard to her throat and painful to let out. She twisted her hands, wrenching between them one of the bracelets she had been wearing, trying hard not to think it had been a gift from Hilda and failing hard. Ingrid looked at her and got down to her knees, grabbing her hands trying to steady them despite she felt the same fear and insecurities surging from her chest and searing her throat in a wave that was bitter and acidic.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. They're werewolves and I know that Dorothea lets me do the heavy lifting because she finds it adorable but she is strong and Hilda is too. They can't be harmed easily." Ingrid said, her hands in Marianne's trying to convince her friend and herself as well. She needed to, at least just a small ray of hope if not she wouldn't be able to keep pushing forward.

"I know, but… what could've possibly happened?" Her eyes were strong despite how small her voice was. She squeezed the hands that held hers and, as they had done so many times before, they found solace and strength in each other.

"At this point, maybe we need to consider other things we thought didn't exist." Ingrid sighed, scratching her nape before tilting her head with her hands linked behind her neck. “We should go to their apartment, see if their car has moved or anything…”

“Don’t you think they would leave us…” Marianne’s insecurities talked instead of her, maybe even the hope that it would be a better explanation than they just disappearing into thin air.

“After telling us their secrets? I don’t think so.” Ingrid got up, stretching her hand to Marianne and helping her to her feet. “Let’s go, I don’t think I can stay here a minute longer not doing something…”

“Let me change it for something more practical…” Marianne disappeared into her room, changing quickly into her Sunday’s clothes, Ingrid just took off her collar chain and loosed her suspenders, changing her boots as well for something she could run in if needed. They were driving through deserted streets in a couple of minutes, their silence strained as different scenarios played in their minds. Ingrid didn’t need GPS to get to their building, she moved through the streets without even thinking about them, her mind fixed in the brunette of kind eyes and gorgeous smile who had promised her the sky and the moon that night to then disappear in the immensity of the universe.

No.

She wouldn’t accept that.

She couldn’t.

“Ingrid, they aren’t here.” Marianne could see their street, the windows that faced the sidewalk, and the door that she had gone through so many times. It felt empty, it looked deserted.

They weren’t there.

Instead, there was a huge man, sitting at the stairs of their door, looking bored with shaggy pink hair visible despite the dim light from the street lights.

Marianne recognized him before they were close. It had to be Hilda’s brother, the one she had talked so many times before but she had never seen a picture of. She grabbed Ingrid’s forearm, an old practiced gesture to make her stop the car. Ingrid cocked an eyebrow but stopped in front of the building, raising both eyebrows when she saw Marianne get out of the car and call for the huge man sitting on the stairs at one am.

Somebody would’ve called it madness, and she could’ve said the same if it wasn’t that she knew Marianne enough to know she wasn’t one to do something foolish.

“Holst?” Marianne called, tentatively. The man’s head snapped toward her. His eyes were the same shade as Hilda’s and they sparked in the night as her girlfriend’s did, a certain glow that wasn’t quite human, and yet one could only see if one knew.

“Do you… Have we met before?” His voice seemed to be born from his chest, a timber so low it seemed impossible to be born from a male’s throat. It seemed even more impossible than this man was related to her petite girlfriend. Yet she was sure he was.

It gave her an idea and a purpose.

“I’m Marianne, Marianne von Edmund. Hilda’s my girlfriend.” She said, walking toward him and craning her head to keep looking at his eyes. He was almost two meters, by her calculations, all brawn, and muscle, square shoulders hidden beneath a white jacket that was too tight for him.

“Sister! Hilda has told me so much about you!” He picked her up so easily that Marianne felt weightless, spinning her around as he hugged her strong and yet gentle. He was Hilda’s brother, their hugs, their strength, the care with which they handled her.

It made her throat burn with sorrow and sadness.

The man, a werewolf, set her on the ground and his demeanor had changed to a worried one. He must have picked up the change in her scent and was looking at her worried, his hands now by his side.

“What is it, sister? You smell worried. Where is Hilda? She’s ought to be here with you! Little sis isn’t that careless as to leave her girlfriend alone at night…” He looked around, sniffing the air looking for traces in the air to follow.

He was so much more careless than Hilda about his nature. Marianne thought she liked him, before blinking away the tears that had been born when she remembered her girlfriend’s hugs.

“Come with me, we need you.”

“We?”

* * *

There was one good thing about having at least a hundred kilos more in the back of the car, she could take the turns faster and her rubber had a bit more grip when the car raced through the streets tempting to go over the speed limit in each block.

That and also that having a two meters friendly werewolf in your band was reassuring, to say the least. Holst had listened to Marianne in silence, nodding with his big chest crossed by his arms, his frown more and more pronounced until his face was a snarl that could've scared easily. Ingrid looked at him through the rear mirror, he barely fit in the back of their car, and his figure would be a funny sight with the seatbelt barely fastened and his legs stretched in the back of their seats and the windows down if it hadn't been for the situation. Ingrid didn't have it in her to be scared of him when her mind was completely occupied by Dorothea.

Dorothea and her disappearance. 

Her hands ache when she clenched them even tighter in the steering wheel, the only way to let some of the pressure and pain and oppression she felt in her chest find a way out.

"You're taking me to the theater, right?" Holst asked, once Marianne finished explaining, her voice the soft flutter of the morning bird compared to the thunders his chest kept concealed.

"Yes, we hoped that you could help us there..."

"I was surprised my little sister and my little niece hadn't returned after the play. I didn't make it in time and I was just waiting for them to show up..." He scratched his chain, it did a raspy noise neither of them had heard in a long time. "It takes a lot to take the two of them down if they are together." He tilted forward, looking at the streets from the back seat, his mouth a thin line behind his incipient beard. "I'll know better once we arrive."

"We're close," Ingrid muttered, her teeth grinding against each other. "Just a couple of blocks more..."

"Great, cause even with the windows down I can smell the air freshener in here, how long did you use it?" He asked, thumbing his nose.

"Since I bought it, I stopped because Dorothea and Hilda asked me a couple of weeks ago." Ingrid had taken all the air fresheners she had bought in advance for their car and put them in the last bottom drawer of their kitchen, the one that was never opened after her girlfriend had admitted that it was painful to be around them with the windows up.

With winter coming it wasn't feasible to sit there for hours breathing in the chemicals of the little blue and green pills she used to buy. It had been an easy decision, Ingrid had stripped bare the car of them and fully cleaned it with neutral products Hilda had friendly sent her direction. Dorothea had seemed surprised by how easily she had adapted, the next time she got in the car clean and free of any new source of an irruptive scent that could damage her sensitive nose.

Ingrid had smiled and shrugged, it was just the logical thing for her. She wanted Dorothea to be happy, she wanted Dorothea to be comfortable, it was a little effort that would brighten her days, of course, she was willing to change it for the songstress.

And it seemed that every werewolf that got in her car now was happy about it. 

Hilda had sighed in relief a couple of days ago when Ingrid drove her and Marianne to a restaurant and Dorothea now used to fell asleep once the car picked up some speed and the road was the steady path toward the Edmund mountains they had started to learn by heart as their weekends were their windows to get away into the wild. Little corners they had carved in the world and time to shape as they pleased.

Holst nodded, his head tilted toward one of the windows.

Ingrid wondered how much Dorothea and Hilda put up with for them. The thought was a cruel blade in her side.

Soon, they’d have answers soon.

She parked the car in the same spot she had done hours ago, but now the streets were mostly empty and she didn’t have to maneuver at all, just gently rolled the car to a stop. Holst was out of the car remarkably quick for a man of his size. Marianne followed in no time, letting Ingrid fumbling with the keys and her seatbelt and her worry behind. The werewolf seemed even more imposing with his wide frame straightened up, taking in deep breaths and following the traces of a scent he knew since the day it had been born into the world.

A brother looking for his sister.

Holst had a mission he would gladly exchange his life for.

Her strides were long to catch up with them, anxious to get a hold on what they could be saying, on anything that would give her just a glimpse of light into a mystery she hadn’t wished for.

“I smell both of them.” He was pacing back and forth, unsure which way to go as he said out loud his findings. “It isn’t fresh, but I suppose this is when they arrive. Then…” He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and creasing his forehead. “... Hilda was here again, I can see it mixed with yours and… Claude? Was Claude here too?” His eyes looked at Marianne’s, intrigued.

“Can you pick all that up? Oh, yes, he’s a friend. He came for the premiere...”

“It’s hard, there are too many smells to get a clear lecture.” Holst turned, his hands in his waist as he pondered their options. “Yeah, makes sense, he was always invested in whatever artistic was happening in the city.” He hummed, scratching his chin again. “This is not good. We need to get in the theater, I can’t pick up a clear trace here... “ Ingrid and Marianne looked at each other. There was no need for a silent conversation, they knew exactly what they had to do.

“Let me circle the building.” Holst didn’t wait for their answer, he started walking and they were at toll. They were going to go into that theater again, break in if necessary so the tracker could do his part.

The only question was when.

Green eyes met hazel ones. There was no doubt of what they had to do, but they had to be careful. There was too much at stake to rush into things, despite how much they'd like to.

"Marianne, Ingrid!" Holst called several meters ahead of them already, a sharp look in his eyes that lightened as Hilda's did in the night. "I found something." They ran to him, hope, and fear intertwined in their chests. There wasn't anything obvious to be seen there, just the street near one of the secondary exits of the theater and the deserted street with the dim street lights over them. Nothing their naked eye could see.

Yet there was something that Holst’ nose could pick up, and it put a grim demeanor in his face.

"Werewolves. Several, and not from a clan I remember." He said, pointing at the closed door. "It isn't fresh. I need to get in the theater to know more..." Holst scratched his head, thinking, his expression darkened by the second. 

"Instead of breaking in, I think we can get us in without getting us caught and leaving Hilda and Dorothea alone…" Marianne took her cellphone, typing quickly and just hoping to receive an answer soon. Ingrid knew what her friend was trying and hoped it would work. If it didn't she would be there the next day ready to throw the door down and get Holst to work into tracking Dorothea and Hilda down.

Her fists were closed, clenched with force.

She would, and she knew that her sentiment was shared by Marianne, despite her appearance.

They would turn every stone in that city if it was needed.

* * *

Marianne set a cup of coffee in front of Ingrid, it was hot and black and it was small comfort in the middle of a storm she had trouble navigating. She smiled, a small tight smile, and took a sip, bags under her eyes.

Holst was asleep on their couch, he had walked directly to the spot Hilda used to sit in and crossed his arms sitting there. It hadn't been long until his chin had touched his chest and his breath was even and shallow as he dozed away and Marianne and Ingrid just sat at their table, too anxious to go to sleep but dead in water as they waited for Claude's answer. His family was well positioned in the art world and it was more than likely he could get them in even if it was closed to the public.

But it was going to be difficult to get an answer at four am.

Ingrid looked at her watch once more and then rubbed her palm over it. She was tired and worried and anxious. Yet, she tried to keep calm. She tried to think about it as just along, long ride to the hospital with a critical patient in the back of her ambulance.

She would feel better if she were driving, she knew.

Marianne sat in front of her with a sigh. Holst had told them that no one would mess with the Goneril clan, one of the oldest and biggest clans in Fódlan. It didn't comfort them that much, but it was enough to let Holst sleep through the night after a long trip and a night of tracking his sister down.

Her coffee was dark and bitter, she barely tasted it, chugging it down.

"Did… Did Dorothea tell you anything?" Marianne was cupping her mug, not taking a sip of it still.

"No… just that her father..." Ingrid stopped, realization hitting her hard, as the cold wind in winter that could stop her breathing. "Her father..."

Marianne waited, expectantly.

"She said that her father was the werewolf and that he left her after she was born because she didn't show any signs of being one." Ingrid looked at Marianne, the answer so obvious in front of them she was infuriated with herself for not getting it before.

"Her father? But why now? And how?" Marianne had bags under her eyes like she hadn't seen in years. Her whole expression was one Ingrid thought she would never see in her friend again. It pained her and she knew she likely mirrored the same tired anxious expression.

"I have no idea, but what other werewolves would come for them?" Ingrid left her mug and sighed. "I can't believe I just said that."

"It feels strangely natural, doesn't it?" Marianne smiled and Ingrid groaned. She was right. It felt natural. It was so strange and yet just right. Ingrid had told herself countless times that her girlfriend was a werewolf.

She believed only now she was starting to fully understand what that meant.

"That doesn't change the fact that they are missing and we're here, sitting, waiting..." Four AM, Ingrid had to repeat herself, four AM, it was a dead hour, the hours right before everything started once more. The quiet of the night before dawn.

The last moment of silence before the city woke up and breathed again, routines started, cars, kept going and the trail started to run cold. A whole new day for a metropolis of millions of people woke up and started to move around their lives, leaving behind a swarm of trails and scents Ingrid was sure Holst would get a headache just trying to follow.

"Ingrid, they'll be fine. Dorothea is clever amidst all her qualities and Hilda is so determined when she is set to doing something… They'll be back with us." Marianne didn't add they would want to be back with them.

She hoped for it.

She was sure of it.

"I can't help it… I worry, I worry that all this," Ingrid used her arms to gesture to their apartment around them, the life they had carefully crafted with patience, time and love. "And…. and the-" her voice hitched when she tried to say it, but she pushed nonetheless. "And all we have built with Doro and Hilda will just… disappear." Her hands were clenched in tight fists, trembling on top of the table. Suddenly Ingrid wasn't there. She wasn't the woman that had carved her path and her future by her own means and her own hands. Her reflection wasn't the one of a short-haired woman with some white hair growing wild amidst the blonde of her hair, but a little kid, too scared to speak her truth and just valued for what she could offer instead of what she truly was.

Suddenly she was back at her parent's home. Powerless, speechless, just a prize to be sold and a mind to be overlooked.

Marianne, in a gesture she had practiced for years, grabbed her forearm, a friendly touch to bring Ingrid back and ground her back to reality.

"It won't, we have each other, and we're the ones that built this home. Not my uncle back in the mountains and not your family..." Marianne's voice was soft, enough to guide her back into their living room, to the aching tiredness of her bones and her trembling joints and the pain of her fingers crushing themselves by the sheer power of her hold.

Her tongue was bitter with the flavor of coffee and her throat closed by the worry of her loved one gone.

Ingrid was there. She was there.

And she could do something.

A deep breath expanded her chest and let her feel something more than pain and anxiousness. A deep breath allowed her to look up and let her practical mind take the reins once more.

They could do something. She would lean again in Marianne, in her strength, in her unwavering support, she'd look up to her and would try to return each kind word with a decisive action. Ingrid would, once more, take solace in their friendship and strive for something higher, something richer. They'd go through whatever the world had for them in-store together and would emerge victoriously, mind the world and its plans they had no time for.

"Let's try to sleep, tomorrow will be a busy day. Claude will open the theater for us I'm sure..." Marianne wasn't sure she could sleep in the state of mind she was. She was afraid of going back to her room and stepping in the very space where Hilda had come clean to her and had shown her the different sides of herself. She was afraid she could keep it together and one if she was there, alone, looking at the gifts her girlfriend had given her and to see in the little details the life they had started to build together unnoticed by both of them and yet real and close and strong. A blossoming flower that didn't fear the cliff where it had been born or the fire that could rain from the scorching summer sun.

Marianne wasn't sure she could take it all at once and not crumb upon it.

Yet, she had to try still.

"I don't know if I can sleep..." Ingrid rubbed her face, her fatigue wouldn't be of help that was sure. "I'll try to rest..." Her right hand remained covering her face and part of her chin. Her green eyes found Holst, sleeping still on the couch, his long legs stretched and his arms crossed.

In Hilda's place.

Her heart stung for Marianne.

"I wonder how he can sleep..." Ingrid sighed, her words barely audible through her hand. Marianne got up, making an effort to keep quiet. She was long gone from that clumsy girl Ingrid had known years ago, opening a built-in closet in the hallway and taking out a blanket to put it on top of him.

“He had a long way from Goneril territory and it’s likely he hasn’t eaten that much… Werewolves seem to need more sleep than regular humans too.” She said while tucking the blanket around his neck. Marianne had noticed how Hilda tended to sleep longer than her. Maybe it was that she was a morning person.

She doubted it.

“I guess I’ll lay down in my room…” Ingrid got up, taking her mug still half full with her. “Mari… will you be ok?” Marianne’s shoulders were slouching, her entire frame seemed defeated. Ingrid’s mouth twisted displeased, she was sure she looked the same.

And the bitter truth was that she didn’t want to face a sleepless night plagued by demons and old ghosts that had found their way into her present alone.

“Yeah but…” Marianne looked at her, hazel eyes with a single petition that was easy to grant as she had the same in her heart.

“I know. Come on, I think your bed is bigger than mine.”

They wouldn’t quite sleep those hours, dozing in and out nightmares and daydreaming that would barely allow the minimum resting to their bodies. Just enough to keep pushing forward, pushing themselves to the limit and breaking it to explore uncharted territory they weren’t afraid to cross in exchange for the right reward.

Laying awake and in silence, taking solace in the life they had built in the years since they decided to stand off their old demons and their unfair past to live a free future through a brave present.

They would find them.

And when they did, Dorothea and Hilda would better be ready to show the whole world what werewolves were made of, because that was bound to be a bumpy ride.

* * *

Claude von Riegan was proud and thankful for many things. He was thankful for his heritage, his childhood in Almyra and some of the hardships he had gone through when deciding to live alone back in Fódlan. He was thankful and proud of the friends he had made along the way, the infinite knowledge he had learned from them and the wisdom he could receive from them each day.

He was extremely happy for the opportunity he had been given to watch them grow and develop, to see them change and sharpen into the persons they had decided to be, they wanted to become.

Claude von Riegan would’ve done anything for them.

Anything.

Even to lie to one of the most charismatic and yet terrifying woman he had ever met.

Maybe women were more accurate.

His smile, dazzling as ever, didn’t show a crack into the world of doubts that crept beneath it. Manuela wasn’t someone to be reckoned with. The actress was a powerhouse waiting to ignite, a storm barely kept and masked under a charming smile and a well-trained face.

Oh, she was powerful and she knew it.

Claude could handle her, yes. But if she was with Judith he could just hope for the goddess to be with him and to be enough.

He looked at his outfit once more and rearranged the hem of his shirt before ringing the bell to the house. It was true that his family was well-positioned and his connections ran deep. He had at his fingertips the strings of some of the most influential people in the city and maybe in the country.

There were steps approaching the door.

He smiled to himself and let that smile there, wielding it as his weapon for a new battle to wage.

It was true that he was an influential person.

“Oh, Claude, good to see you actually on time!” Manuela smiled and let him in, grace and strength in each of her movements.

But he still needed to convince influential people to do his will.

"You wound me, professor Manuela, you know I'd never be late to your classes." He joked, taking off his jacket and folding it neatly in his arm. He made a point taking his shoes as well and stepping into the apartment carefully. Manuela Casagranda, the biggest star the Leicester and Adrestian stages had seen so far, had a curious smile when looking at him. A Saturday afternoon the songstress had allowed him into her home.

"Is Claude here already?"

Well, their home.

"Judith! I'm honored to be in your home." His smile didn't waver for a second. Judith von Daphnel, Manuela's wife and one of the most important businesswoman in the city. "Looking as sharp as always, right?" His words weren't misplaced at all. Even on a free Saturday afternoon, her shirts were crisp and her presence imposing. 

"Rest it, boy." She snorted, a smile still in her face. "Now, I was expecting to take my wife into an early dinner today. Shall we cut to the chase already?"

Oh, yes. What a powerful couple, always to the point. Claude von Riega, however, wasn't one to step down a challenge, not when his friends' faith was on him.

Oh no.

"Hush it, dear, let the poor boy sit down at least." Manuella walked passed by him to her wife, Claude knew there was a spell in the rocking of her hips just by looking at how Judith's almost grey eyes sparked and softened before him.

"I suppose my manners can improve, can't they now? Come on, let's have some coffee and sort this out." Claude bowed and followed them, fully aware of how he was supposed to move in these kinds of situations. He expected them to chew up on him just to have some fun, after all, he had dropped at their door with almost no notice, and a brilliant smile he knew could carry him through the worst scenarios.

Judith and Manuela could have their fun at his expense, they'd find out he was a hard nut to crack, more so when in his mind he could still hear Marianne's voice explaining the situation. Or at least part of it. Claude knew she had kept things from him.

He also knew better than to pry when the situation required actions.

He'd have his explanations later.

The apartment was a big, comfortable one, two couches were in the huge living room with a coffee table that had barely anything on top. Claude would've pictured Manuela's home a bit flashier and messier, but maybe he was just seeing Judith's influence. He sat down there, feeling like a prisoner waiting for the executioner. His jacket was a neat bundle next to him.

Manuela sat in front of him, her dress a comfortable fit as she crossed her legs and studied him with more of a critical eye. "So, let's be honest, what is this nonsense of the Riegan house Operan in need of renovations?"

"You know how my grandpa can be, he just needs to run an idea and let it wild for a while." Claude accepted the black cup of coffee Judith handed him and took a sip out of courtesy. It was rather bitter and strong for his liking, he knew better than complaining of course. To be charming one had to sacrifice certain things, such as requesting milk in the coffee. "The sooner the better, just get in, take some pictures and get out. It isn't such a big favor to ask."

"Why now? You could wait for the next play, nobody will stop you if you try going into the dressing room and backstage." Judith sat next to Manuela, her arm around her shoulders and a cup exactly the same Claude had in his hands filled with coffee too strong for his taste but perfect for hers. 

"I just wish to have a peaceful Sunday, I can wrap this today and drop the key early tomorrow, or, as early as you would like." Claude let the coffee on the little plate in front of him, leaning forward. "I'm sure you understand that, right professor Manuela?" His smile was wider now and his hands were relaxed and intertwined on top of his knees. He knew that yellow looked good on him, that his shoulders were relaxed and that his hair was trimmed and well kept.

He was in his element, and all of his fears and his doubts were left behind. He was a negotiator, a charismatic man that could talk his way out of any situation.

He was Claude von Riegan and his loyalties were with his friends.

He would face any challenge for them with no hesitations, even if it was just asking a favor to his old professor and her wife.

"I'm just surprised how rushed you seemed on the phone" Manuela had a hand on Judith's knee and her expression was, for once, amazed, just for a second before going back to her normal elegant demeanor.

"Oh, you know me, I'm always on top of things." That was true, and more so if he woke up to a message of Marianne and an early conversation with her where he could hear Holst in the background crying for his sister.

Hilda and Dorothea had disappeared.

Claude knew better than to distrust Marianne in her judgment to avoid the police for now. The woman was a doctor for crying out loud, she knew to handle the toughest situations with grace and a clear head. Ingrid seemed to have agreed with her and if someone could drive a heavy vehicle around the city with a dying person in the back without crashing into something, he believed they had at the very least a good instinct.

"Still, I would've supposed that age would've given you a bit of pause..."

"We're never too far off of who we truly are, aren't we?" That was a lie, he had learned to be more restrained and clever with the years. He had sharpened himself into such a beautiful and deathly tool he was the proud and joy of his family.

He was still very susceptible to his friends, something some people would consider a weakness and he thought of as a strength.

"Always the sweet talker, aren't you? I suppose it's fine, just bring it tomorrow afternoon. I'm not getting up early on a Sunday for something so minor." Manuela got up, leaving Judith with the faintest trace of her lingering warmth and disappeared into a hallway Claude didn't want to look at.

"You okay, kiddo?" Judith left her cup of coffee, empty, and looked at him in the eye. The woman had a penetrating look, almost impossible to keep without the feeling of being examined and judged.

"I'm always good, Judith, you know that! And before you ask, my parents are just fine living their best lives." Claude took the coffee he had forgotten and had a second sip, something to calm his host. Judith hummed a flat note. He was unsure if he had been convincing, but he'd need to hope for the best.

Or the worst.

He'd deal with it when the time came.

"Here it is." Manuela reappeared a small key in her hand with a keychain too big for it. "Be sure to not have a party in there, I beg you." He received the key with a bow and a smile, perfect manners for the son of a family that took pride in them.

"Of course, professor! I appreciate this! You'll never guess I was looking around for my grandpa." He put the key in his pockets and grabbed his jacket. "I won't take more of your time so you can enjoy his beautiful afternoon." He bid his goodbye, walking backward and never stopping looking and smiling at them.

Manuela sighed and shook her head, Judith still in her spot on the couch with an eyebrow raised. Claude put his shoes back on and opened the door, bowing one final time.

“Oh, Claude, tell Dorothea to be more careful, her last friends were a bit too raw with the staff,” Manuela said, as she waved him goodbye.

Claude smiled and nodded, winking before closing the door behind him. Her friends?

Those weren’t her friends, Dorothea would never be associated with people she found annoying, obnoxious, or rude.

Oh no.

Marianne and Ingrid wouldn’t like that a single bit.

Claude swallowed.

Holst wouldn’t like that a single bit.

What a night was waiting for them, crossroads just waiting to be walked on, decisions that would change their lives in more ways than one.

Claude waited to be out of the building before jogging toward their meeting point. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was scared as well as intrigued.

* * *

The door opened at the first try of that new key, it must have been a first for her and Marianne would've been surprised if she hadn't been worried, her heart hammering her chest. Despite the haste that had driven them into the theater, she stopped in the threshold of the building, looking into the shadows that it hosted and her soul felt unsure and hurt.

Hilda and Dorothea were there? She didn't know.

She knew they had been there when it was a palace that harbored lights and talent and people and dreams.

Not the dim light that couldn't help to defy the shadow realm of the theater when it was closed and its stage was silent.

Holst moved her kindly, a large warm hand in her shoulder to make enough space to move on and start investigating the place. He didn’t seem to need directions, his nose a compass amidst a territory he didn’t know. Claude took his phone and turned on the flashlight to give them so light as he looked for some of the lights. The night had already fallen over the city and the little light that leaked through the windows wasn’t enough to make out the shapes of the corners and the doors inside the building. Ingrid closed the door behind her, squinting and following Holst who was standing on the tip of his toes before changing directions into one of the hallways.

The humans followed without questions.

It wasn’t the moment or time for questions.

The werewolf changed directions, going through the huge doors to the main stage and, without missing a beat, he walked to the chairs they had occupied the day before, following a path that seemed to be highlighted for him. They followed him, a rushed pace to keep up with his long legs and his determined mind.

They went up and down the chairs, Holst never talking but never stopping. Finally, he went back to the chairs they had used.

Ingrid remembered with a pang of pain how mesmerized she had been the day before, completely taken away, snatched by Dorothea’s performance and how powerful and regal she looked in the stage singing the aria she had performed just for her so many weeks ago in that little cabin, a haven for their love still too fresh and raw for the world to look at.

“They were here.” Holst started walking more purposefully, pointing to the ground to show them what only his nose could see. “This is Hilda, she parted ways with Mari here and… this way!” He was jogging now, his steps light and fast for a man of his height. The humans had trouble following his quick strides. “Here, here her scent mixes with others, three of them and Hilda. They went...” He dropped, crouching and closing his eyes, a deep breath followed by shallow ones. “This hallway, come on!”

“That’s the way of the dressing room!” Claude kept behind them, his breathing laborious but steady. Marianne was the last, her lungs gasping for air and her muscles cramping at the prospect of more running after they had just jogged the whole theater.

“That’s the way these bastards went. Damn dogs, if they even touched my kin…” Holst’s frame covered almost the whole hallway, effectively blocking the light and the vision, his muscles threatening anyone who would dare to harm his loved ones. “Here. They remained a whole lot of time here. And Dorothea’s scent comes from this room.” He stopped right in front of the dressing room where Ingrid had wished her girlfriend good luck. The sadness and the grief that clamped her throat turned into hot, slick cholera that would drown her if she allowed it to take control of her.

Her fists trembled as they clenched her phone, threatening to crack the device.

How dared they?

How dared they to take Dorothea away from her?

Her wrath was a raging fire that would consume her and drown her in a bottomless oppressive ocean she couldn’t help to escape.

“Ingrid, Marianne, we should split ways. I think we can track them from here. Claude-” 

Ingrid didn’t listen.

How unfair it was? How cruel it was?

How disheartening it was to find somebody to love and to have them ripped apart from her side?

“Ingrid!” She blinked, looking up to Claude who was shaking her by her shoulder. She had been crying, she realized. Ingrid blinked quickly, hoping for the dim light to cover the hot path of her tears in her cheeks.

“Yeah?”

“We need to keep moving, come one.” Marianne had her hand and she guided her gently away. Holst remained there, his shoulders trembling and his back to them. If they could’ve seen his face they would’ve seen a grin that extended and widened, losing all its humanity as his lips part and his teeth turned into sharp fangs.

They were too far away to see any of that. Instead, Ingrid let Marianne guide her out of that cursed place, she and Claude talking about the next steps to take.

“Look, I think we need help, the police, or something. We can call Leonie maybe she can lend us a hand…”

“I know, I know, give us a day, I swear I’ll keep you in the loop.” Marianne’s hand was an anchor she clung to, half-listening as her knees wobbled and yet her strides kept strong.

“I trust you, but…” Claude scratched his head, groaning as he tried to think. “Okay, I’ll give you a day, please let me know if something changes and…” He stopped at the entrance of the theater, his smile gone, his eyes decided. “I need to know what’s going on after this is over.”

Marianne nodded, though those weren’t her secrets to tell, she would tell him her part of the story. She would tell him all that Hilda meant to her and how she believed that was the best course of action. Marianne, however, would not betray Hilda’s trust.

She would keep her secrets close to her heart.

She would keep their time together from stranger’s eyes as the cherished memory it was.

“Come on, we need to keep moving.” Ingrid had sobered up, hardening with a single goal in her mind, a determination that shielded her from her own emotions that just knew how to run wild. Her feelings she had bottled up and wasn’t ready to face, not at that moment, maybe not in a long time. “I’ll drop you off by your place, Claude.” She looked for her keys, her strides long and her eyes fixed. There was a glint of danger in them.

A glint of recklessness.

Marianne followed, the same energy around her. Their friend was quick to close the door behind him and jogged to catch up to them.

Ingrid and Marianne had been an example as citizens, always on time, always respectful, never failing to pay their taxes, and vote in every election. 

Not that night, however. 

Not that night when they decided to break any law that stood in their way. A lawless night for a problem that couldn't be dealt with by human standards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe only three chapters remain... I'm so excited about this!
> 
> ...
> 
> Wait, what do you mean I have to write them? 
> 
> ...
> 
> Oh shi-
> 
> EDIT:
> 
> We got really nice and beautiful art gifted for chapter 3! Go take a look, I got all emotional when I received the message ;-;


	7. A car runs faster than a wolf (or, technology, love.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love was a strange thing, impossible to explain and with total power of our actions from time to time. Recklessness had never quite been a trait of character for either of them and yet there they were, running over the hundred kilometers per hour chasing the promise of something that wasn’t sure and they never knew it could be real or not.

"Ingrid, red light! Red light!" Claude was grabbing to the back of the car for dear life, as Marianne tilted forward, looking at the streets while Ingrid sped through them, changing gears with a quick kick to the clutch. Her knuckles were white in the steering wheel.

"Claude, shut it! We're almost there." She took a sharp turn and the wheels screeched burning rubber against the pavement. Claude's building was a tall one, in one of the rich neighborhoods of Derdriu. She slammed on the breaks and if he hadn't been fastened by the seat belt, his face would have been now against the windshield. Ingrid barely moved, her hands gripping the steering wheel and her eyes fixed on the road.

Claude was, understandably, scared of her.

"Let us know if you know anything from any of our friends, would you? Holst said he’s near and they may go to any of their places if they are closer to them." Marianne looked at him from the passenger seat, her hazel eyes so determined he was unsure how she could remain so focused despite the mad run they had just gone through half the city.

"You know it, Mari." His fingers were quick to release the seat belt despite how much they trembled and he was out of the car in less than five seconds, watching it speed again and crossing the corner barely in time as the yellow light turned to red. His knees were shaky when he walked to the entrance of the building, but he managed to get his cell phone out and start typing to his contacts in a desperate attempt to help his friends in whatever that was going on.

More so if those friends were ready to break the law to get to their partners. He knew better than standing in the way of a lesbian and their girlfriend. He looked at the car, the wheels screeching as Ingrid drove off and turned to the left in the first corner. Claude kept there, his phone in his hand, before shaking his head and walking to his building.

That was going to be a night.

A night indeed.

“Where is he?” Ingrid was driving with no restrictions, her eyes so focused in the street and anything that could cross their path that she couldn’t see anything else.

“I’m putting up the GPS, he sent a pin, I think he turned…” Marianne connected her phone quickly, despite the maneuvers Ingrid did to keep them on track. Her eyes looked quickly to the screen in her car and changed course. She felt better by doing something, she was doing something.

She was doing something.

She was doing something.

Ingrid changed gears.

Soon she’d be with her. With them.

She was doing something.

“What else did he say?” Ingrid knew this city, she knew the street layout like the back of her hand, for her work she knew the fastest streets, the ones that didn’t rely on street lights to keep traffic at bay. She knew where the cameras of the police were and how to avoid them as she sped through corners and empty streets, cutting the shortest and safest path to Holst’s GPS signal. They were going east, toward the mountains in the route Ingrid would usually drive for a nice weekend out with Dorothea near the national parks there and the quiet forests that had seen her confidence grow around the songstress and her warm voice and warmer gestures.

If something happened, she could always call Sylvain and ask him to return her some of the many favors she had done for him.

The clutch protested with a high scratching sound but she changed gears nonetheless and her car was in fourth gear in the middle of the city. In other circumstances she would have taken away anybody’s license for being so reckless in a metropolis, where people would always be around and accidents were just waiting to happen.

Not now.

Ingrid didn’t have even time to think about that.

“They are in a... Theater?” Marianne looked at the position in her phone and then took Ingrid’s phone to look up the map, she used her legs to keep her steady despite the tumbles and turns Ingrid was making to cut corners burning rubber into the street.

“What’s up with this bastard and theaters?! Can’t they be in a place a little easier to access?!” They were already well into the city’s finest neighborhood, always chasing the pin that represented Holst in the map and that started to move again, faster than a human and slower than a car. He was cutting through blocks instead of streets, moving agilely in their map, enough for the little dot to appear and disappear in different positions as his device tried to keep him pinned to his exact location.

Marianne looked at it and did a double take before turning to Ingrid with a little hope blossoming in her heart.

“He’s running away, it’s possible he’s got Hilda and Dorothea!”

“I don’t know how they’ll fit in the car and I don’t care. Where to?” Ingrid had her hands full with the road, going through narrow streets with light so dim she had trouble making out the shadows outside the range of her front lights.

“To the highway, I think they’re trying to leave the city.” Her eyes went from her phone with the blue and grey map where the GPS tried to follow despite it had never been built for such turns, the actual road where the now more spaced houses and cars were blurred by the night and their speed, and her phone trying to see the map of their surroundings.

“Just great…” Ingrid mumbled, another sharp turn and she was sure she had slammed her side against the door by it. She’d need to look for bruises the next morning if they ever made it alive out of that mad chase.

Again, she failed to care. Marianne didn’t seem concerned by it either.

Love was a strange thing, impossible to explain and with total power of our actions from time to time. Recklessness had never quite been a trait of character for either of them and yet there they were, running over the hundred kilometers per hour chasing the promise of something that wasn’t sure and they never knew it could be real or not.

They passed through the tunnel that crossed the first of the mountains toward the Edmund mountain range, a lonely prominent cliff that kept Derdriu hidden from the eastern visitors and had been one of its natural barriers centuries ago. It wasn’t a surprise that Derdriu soldiers tended to favor both archers and flying units, more than a thousand years ago that was it.

The change of light was strong, enough for anybody to blink a couple of times trying to adjust to the white blinding light of the tunnel, Ingrid barely frowned, her pupils contracting so hard that her eyes were just a sea of green with two small dots of black. They shone with determination, a fierce luster that would carry her and her friend for the rest of the night.

None of them wouldn’t give up, not now, not ever.

And as soon as it hit them it was gone, the black sky again over them as they exited Derdriu and started the long way toward the mountains and Almyra.

The long way to a landscape Ingrid used to love and now just jabbed her with thorns of regret and apprehension.

The long way to a landscape Marianne had fled many years ago and she had learned to make peace with just to be hit yet again with its challenging profile.

The silence between them two was mute, as their minds worked in overdrive and the engine roared its own cry in an attempt to catch their racing thoughts and their elusive hopes. They didn’t want to think what would happen if they were to find only Holst.

Their runaway thoughts didn’t want to acknowledge the absolute devastation that would mean to lose the ones they loved. To lose the source of solace and strength they had found amidst a life that sometimes was hard to navigate and storms that were hard to weather when there was no lighthouse to look at.

The silence was muted, as they didn’t share anything else that emotions they weren’t even able to recognize, just feel. The same steel grip in their hearts squeezing just a bit more each second.

Each second.

A bit more.

Just a tad.

The moon, above them, was deaf to their soundless howl.

The little pin in their GPS said they were close, that Holst kept running next to the highway.

It sparked hope and fear in them. Marianne leaned forward, her eyes peeled looking for something, anything, at her right, on her side of the road. He was close. Hopefully, they were close.

Close enough for Ingrid to decelerate, close enough for her to see them if she just squinted a bit further.

If she just… She saw them, several wolves running at their right, just up ahead next to the open highway and all the lanes they’d have to cross to get into the slow one to be next to them.

“Ingrid, they there are!” Marianne pointed at the figures running, she didn’t need to say it, the driver turned violently, crossing three lanes and siding next to them. Marianne could see Hilda running, her fur bristled and red spots staining it, her muzzle was a snarl as she ran next to a similar yet bigger wolf Marianne supposed it was Holst. Behind them at least three or four dark wolves chased them, there was blood in their muzzles and fur as well.

She didn’t have time to think about anything else.

“I’m going to open the door!” She yelled, unfastening her seatbelt and climbing the seat to get in the back of the car.

“Mari! Wait!” Ingrid couldn’t let go of the steering wheel, her foot engaged in the gas pedal, a delicate dance to keep the car right next to the wolves that tried to keep up with the machine. She looked at them and at her friend for less than a second and then her eyes were back on the highway, she was praying for the way to remain clear and free of exits and intersections.

Marianne fumbled with the handle, the door locked as she tried opening by force. “Ingrid! The door!” She yelled, acting upon instinct only. The blonde punched a button in the dashboard and suddenly the risk was real. If Ingrid had to take a turn or just a risky maneuver to avoid something on the way, she would badly hurt Marianne, Hilda and Holst in the process.

They pushed forward nonetheless, breaking every rule they knew willingly.

Marianne opened the door, pushing against the wind and grabbing the backseat as hard as she could.

“Hilda! Holst!” Her words were almost lost to the wind, but the wolves were already running next to them, preparing for what was about to happen. Hilda had most likely recognized Ingrid’s car and waited for the right moment to jump on it. Her paws were strong, strong to keep running after what could’ve been hours, strong to inject her muscles with blood and make her whole body a spring to jump several meters and get in the car in a single, smooth movement, followed in close by her brother, slamming Marianne in the process. One of Holst's back legs dangled in the air for a second, before he pushed himself forward with his front legs and both wolves were in the car and over Marianne.

The impact and the weight of her girlfriend in her chest knocked the air out of her, but she wrapped her arms around her and held her tight, feeling the fur bristled, patches of it soaked in hot liquid she supposed it was blood, her hammering heart and the soft whimpers and the thump oh her tail against the seats as she tried to come closer to her, whining.

“I’m here, oh, Hilda, I’m here.” Marianne accepted everything Hilda gave her. She took the blood, the fur, she took the weight and the soft cries. She just buried her face in her fur and, for a blissful second, let herself feel drunk in relief and love.

She was there.

She was there.

Ingrid looked through her rear mirror, speeding up to let the other wolves behind, before maneuvering their trajectory in a dangerous S-shape through several lanes to close the door that was still open, punching the locking button once more.

Hilda left her arms too soon, twisting in the limited space they had in the car and growling at her brother softly, a low rumble that seemed more like a word than a threat. Her snarl then changed, her ears flatten against her head and her paws twitched and contracted as her fur receded. Her skin was a shade of lighter pink and her wounds became visible in the dim light of the car and the street lights on the highway.

She was turning back to her human form.

There wasn’t enough space for the three of them in the back of the car, yet she did her best to press herself against the door, at the other end Holst did the same, tucking his tail under his paws, his head touching the car’s roof.

In a process she hadn’t seen enough to get used to, or maybe a process she would never get used to, Hilda was back again her human girlfriend, her skin pearling with sweat and her breath labored as she panted and gritted her teeth.

“Those bastards!” Her voice was the same, high and warm and oh Marianne had been so worried she felt like happy to be sitting or her knees would’ve given up under her.

“Hilda!” She brought her back into an embrace, trembling, sobs filling her chest and throat yet not making it out. Not yet at least.

They were missing someone.

“Hilda, you’re hurt.” Ingrid looked at her GPS and cursed, the next detour back to the city still too far away. Biting her lip she pushed the engine further, now well over the speed limit.

Ingrid couldn’t care less.

“Nothing serious. We need to go back to Derdriu, that bastard’s got Dorothea!” Hilda turned, still in Marianne’s arm, completely unbothered by her nakedness. “No, Holst, don’t you dare to turn in here!” She growled, her brother looking at her in an expression that would be easier to read if it weren’t covered in fur.

“Who is the bastard? Dorothea’s father?” Marianne let her hand on Hilda’s shoulders, keeping her close and steady despite how frantic the woman was and how overexcited she seemed. Her heart raced in her chest and her sweat was still pouring from her skin. It only took one look to Marianne to know she was running herself ragged and only adrenaline was keeping her up.

Or whatever a werewolf would use as adrenaline.

“Yes! He appears in her life after decades and thinks he has any right to say something about her? About what she can or can’t do with her life?! I’ll destroy him the next time I see him!” She rubbed her face with her hands, staining her cheeks with blood from where her paws were before. She had run until her pads were raw and bloody and then she kept running. “And then he tries to talk me into it?  _ Me _ ? Ugh, he’s making us  _ work _ !” Marianne took her hands and kept them in hers, trying to calm her down. She was bleeding, she was hurt, it wouldn’t do her any good to keep exerting herself in that way.

“Hilda, you’re hurt! I need you to seat back a bit.” Marianne didn’t have anything to give Hilda to cover her body, once the adrenaline and the rush left her blood she’d be cold and hungry, she needed medical attention and proper care. They needed to head back to Derdriu to get them back in shape.

“Hilda.” Ingrid looked at them through the rear mirror, her expression a serious one. Hilda was naked, hurt and tired, but her eyes were wide awake and alert. “ _ Where _ is Dorothea?”

“They were moving from theater to theater, I don’t know how but that old man’s got some connections in the city.”

Ingrid nodded, her eyes back again on the road. None of them could see her expression, none of them could see the frown in her eyebrows. What they saw was how her hands trembled by the sheer strength she used to grab the steering wheel.

They heard the pain in her voice, the determination in her voice.

“We’re going to bring her back tonight.”

* * *

The clock on their wall marked past midnight. Marianne felt like those couple of hours had lasted for days. She knew that soon fatigue would take her limbs prisoners, but she couldn’t stop. Not yet.

Not quite yet.

Ingrid was sitting on their couch, her elbows on her knees and her eyes lost, looking inward to something she couldn’t even phantom. She was consumed in her own grief that painted a world where only gray and red and black lived.

Marianne could only imagine how much she yearned for the green and brown of Dorothea's eyes and hair, for the silk of her voice and the warmth of her hands. She just knew her limbs were tired and the wave of relief had left her dumbfounded and lethargic. Hilda was still fidgeting, wrinkling and frowning each time the doctor cleansed her wounds with the small first aid kit she had opened next to her.

Holst was eating a large bowl of rice, his wounds already bandaged and his jaw chewing and clenching far harder than needed.

Hilda's next wound was a gash she grimaced at. It was on her shoulder and she was sure it was caused by a fang that had bitten her hard. Hilda hissed and dug her fingers in her knee, but kept still while Marianne disinfected the area and looked for the equipment she needed to stitch the flesh back together. The silence among the four of them was heavy and telling.

The seconds she needed to thread the needle and stitch her girlfriend were long.

They had made their way back in record time. Ingrid had never been that reckless behind the wheel and, honestly, Marianne didn't care in that moment. Not when she had two wounded agitated werewolves in the backseat of a car they barely fit in. Holst had told them the  Wald clan had made the horrible mistake of attacking the Goneril clan. After that all of his cheerfulness had disappeared, his eyes never leaving his sister who had just eaten her way through half of their pantry. Hilda had the same appetite as if she hadn't been fed for a day, which could be the case by the way she chugged a liter of water with ease before devouring a package of cookies she loved and that Marianne kept for her.

Ingrid had been quick in offering them food and beverages, she had made sure Marianne had everything she needed to tend their wounds, and then she had sat there in silence.

Alone.

She was alone and Marianne knew she wouldn't be able to reach out to her, not at that moment at least.

"Does it hurt too bad?" Marianne cut the thread and finished her work with the mastery of years of practice. Hilda smiled at her and shook her head, somehow she had managed to escape with only superficial scrapes in her face. Her shoulders and thighs were a different story, they had been marked by fangs and claws, vicious injuries that, although they were superficial, were big enough to make Hilda blood profusely. She was wearing Marianne's clothes that were too big for her and her usually clean and well-kept hair was tangled up and stained as her fur had had.

She covered the wound with bandages, buttoned up the sweater she had given her to cover the wound and set to work in the next open gash.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave you both like that..." Hilda's eyes were elusive, looking only at the floor in front of her or the yellow sleeve that went down all the way to her fingertips. "I thought I could get Dorothea and get out of there before anything escalated. I just didn't expect for them to move so quickly… I didn't expect to be Dorothea's father looking for her after all these years."

Ingrid's head snapped, her eyes fixed at Hilda and her words that were a spring of fresh water in the middle of a cruel desert.

"Oh, Mari, don't worry that much. We heal faster, this one won't scar me." Hilda pointed at the wound Marianne had been stitching in her left arm. She tried to inflict her tone with a lighter voice. She was unable to do so, her smile a sad one as her girlfriend tended for her wounds. 

"We put up a fight, of course. Dorothea isn't someone to cross but... He brought an awful lot of his clan just for her." Hilda sighed and her face was a testament of weariness and fatigue. "They weren't supposed to hurt us… to hurt me, old traditions and stuff, you know? But then Holst showed up and the room was a bit too stuffy and someone did something stupid..." Hilda gestured at her left shoulder, where Marianne had stitched the biggest wound the fastest she had been able to.

"When I find the  _ idiot  _ that bit you Hilda..." Holst hands were marked by veins and his muscles were stone under his skin. His sister frowned at him, shaking her head.

"We can't just go back and open up our way biting if we want to make it in time-"

"In time for what?" Ingrid's voice was dry and abrupt, it almost seemed it didn't belong to her. There was a glint of desperation in her glance. Hilda's grimace grew further when she looked at her friend and Holst kept his eyes at the third bowl of rice he had been eating.

The silence dragged on for a second more, Marianne finished stitching her girlfriend and squeezed her knee, encouraging her to continue.

"This guy is all about traditions. He talks non-stop about preserving his legacy and his pack and how old customs have been abandoned… insufferable, really." Hilda opened and closed her hands, testing her strength. Her fingers trembled when she did. "He's tried unsuccessfully to father a  _ right  _ heir for his clan and it seems like Dorothea was the only one that carried along his traits." 

"I thought that if your parents were werewolves you were too." Marianne murmured, her hands working in the bandage of the last wound she had found in her girlfriend's body. Hilda seemed to be right about the healing process, her minor wounds seemed older than they really were.

"It isn't that simple, sometimes the trait isn't there completely, sometimes it runs in all the children of the family. The whole thing it's a mess nobody has looked into to actually explain." Hilda rolled her eyes and then closed her eyes in a silent face of pain as Marianne cleaned the open flesh. "He wants her to be his successor and he wants her back in Enbarr under his thumb to  _ educate. _ " The spite in that last word was so strong all of them felt it in the air. "He doesn't like my clan, but he should've known better than to attack me… but, what can we expect from someone who would father children and abandon them just because they weren't  _ right." _ Hilda didn't move when Marianne finished patching her up, her pink eyes were in Ingrid and she tried to convey all the grief and anger she felt in them. "We'll get her back, those fools can't keep Dorothea in a golden cage and we'll help her break free, I promise."

"Okay… You need to rest, it won't do any good if we show up and both aren't ready. You're our ticket in." Ingrid's voice was leveled, it made Marianne shivered. It was so wrong. Holst sighed and rubbed his face, before grabbing his fourth helping of rice and walking to the couch where he'd devour the food and tried to sleep just a bit more. Wolves seemed to need not only more food but more time asleep to maintain their bodies. Hilda's sight followed Ingrid who got up and left to her room in silence. Her fists were tightly closed by her side.

Marianne took off her gloves and put away her medical kit, her heart both heavy and light in her chest. "Hilda..." The woman turned to face her, her expression changed into a softer one and a shy smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm sorry, Mari, I was careless." Hilda thought about following up with a joke about how Marianne was usually the careless one, prompt to be clumsy and get something wrong. She didn't find the will to do so in herself. Hilda leaned in and accepted the hug Marianne gave her, her forehead resting in her shoulder and her senses flooded by her beautiful soft blue scent. She wished to intoxicate in it and never wake up again from that blissful feeling.

"It was never your fault, Hilda. I'm just so happy and relieved you're ok and here..." Marianne held her close, minding all the wounds and cuts she had just tended to, her hands delicate and sure in Hilda's back. Her girlfriend sighed and for a moment forgot they weren't completely alone in the room. "Try to rest up, okay? I need to check up on Ingrid."

"Mari..."

"I think Holst is asleep already, we'll wake you up soon, but you need to sleep a bit if we are to get Dorothea out tonight. I already messaged Claude and he said he'll be around if we need him..."

Hilda's expression darkened when she thought about their friend.

"I guess we owe him some explanation, right?"

"We can think about that later." Marianne kissed her, a chaste kiss that elevated her heart and got up. She left the box where she kept her medical supplies on the table and went to Ingrid's room, knocked on the ajar door and waited.

She waited a couple of seconds more, before pushing the door ever so slightly and knocking again. The lights were on and she could make out the form of Ingrid sitting on her bed.

"Marianne, come in." The blonde sighed, using the heel of her hand to wipe away a single tear. Ingrid shifted and twisted to face the door and her friend. "Why are you here? You should be with Hilda..." She observed sheepishly how Marianne crossed the distance and sat next to her, looking at the wall in front of them instead of her eyes that were shy and embarrassed.

"Hilda and Holst will be fine, they need to sleep a little and eat. You need me too." Her voice was soft as it got lost in the wrinkles of time, of that long hour she had decided to wait for their wounded to recover and sleep before springing back to action.

Time that for her was eternal and anxious but for Ingrid was pure agony.

Marianne knew very well that for her the worst had already happened. Ingrid's thoughts could be a raging fire concealed by her silence. She knew her friend, she knew she was suffering and knew how much she struggled to let it out, to reach out for help or just to recognize that her pain and her grief were worth listening to, that she was worth being comforted.

The seconds, long and unbiased, stretched across them with the elasticity time shouldn't truly have yet that it was its very nature.

At first, it was a muffled sob, something Ingrid could bite back and look down to keep under control. Then were her shoulders trembling.

Then the dam broke and Ingrid had both of the heels of her hands against her eyes, biting her lower lip and crying hot tears that hurt but hurt less being out. Marianne ran small circles between the blade of her shoulders, letting her cry out the inferno she felt inside. Ingrid had curled up in herself, her elbows in her knees supporting her weight and her hands kept at her eyes. They didn't need words, they had each other and years of understanding between them.

After what could've been minutes or hours Ingrid's shoulders stopped shaking, her breath shallow leveling, her eyes closed but dry. She used her sleeves to clean her face and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Mari..." Ingrid muttered, her voice a single thread that could snap again at any moment. "I'm sorry..."

"Please, don't apologize for grief or emotions. You know that I'm here for you, I love you." Marianne hugged her friend, and let her hiccup and sniff and compose herself using her shoulder as support. "We're going to get her back, it's going to be okay. We'll just drive through the city as maniacs again."

"Oh, yeah, I guess we did that." Ingrid smiled and sniffed once more. Her eyes were glossy still, red streaks after crying her pain out. "Thank you, Mari. I love you too."

They smiled and sighed, looking for strength to continue that night, looking for the will to keep pushing forward and free the one they had lost. They just needed to wake up the two werewolves that were to guide them and Marianne thought as she got up once more, a short trip to their kitchen.

It was time to go.

* * *

Under the dim light outside of the Riegan Opera house Holst's black eye seemed more ominous than it already was. He has dismissed Marianne's concern about it, simply saying that throwing a couple of fists before turning the fight into biting was just the werewolf's way. She wasn't so sure, imagining Hilda punching people in the face wasn't something she associated with her girlfriend.

The thought made her frown.

Hilda was strong enough to break somebody's bones too with a punch, she was sure. It was ridiculous the sheer strength in her muscles. She wondered, not for the first time, how efficient her neuromuscular system was and how many more fibers she had than a regular human being. That wasn't the time, she chastised herself, to think about that. They had more important things to do.

Like listening to Claude going over his files finding the combination for them to enter the Opera house. 

It was a bold move, to say the least, using the most famous Opera house as a base of operations. The building was not only enormous and well illuminated, but by the seaside with only two main avenues leading from and out of it. A place that wasn't easy to access or leave, it had been the biggest attraction of Derdriu for centuries and it had been easy to access when people used horses and chariots instead of cars and bikes. It was imposing, a mix of modern and ancient styles, built upon each fire that had damaged it, upon each breach the time had opened in it, upon each new style the city had welcomed changing alongside it and remaining the same. It was an icon of Derdriu.

One that wasn't in Goneril territory.

The Opera had been fiercely disputed over the centuries, Holst had said that much. Hilda had just pursed her mouth and crossed her arms. Werewolf history wasn't a subject she seemed interested in discussing.

Marianne would ask Holst later.

"I found it!" Claude beamed at the other end of the line, Marianne signaled the others so they'd gather around the car, near the Opera a couple of blocks away. "I’m sending it to you, but this will change within a couple of hours, so you need to be out before that happens..." He stood in his living room, looking at the phone he had in speakers and bit his lower lip. It was a big risk.

A huge one.

"Look, if you need me, call me again and I'll get there for you, I can distract my grandpa too, but it looks like whoever got Dorothea there is a family friend, I don't see how else they would have the code to get in the Opera House so easily." Claude scratched his head, feeling useless. "Do you need me to go now?"

Ingrid, at the other end, shook her head, gesturing at her watch to Marianne.

They were running out of time already.

"We'll call you if anything comes up and, Claude… Thank you." She disconnected the call before he could say anything else. Ingrid was looking at her, her black hoodie up and comfortable sportswear on. She looked very much the same, but Hilda and Holst stood up with clothes either too big or too small for them.

The man scratched his chin, his fangs were showing through his displeased expression.

"They are here and they're quite a few." He simply said, his eyes toward the building they were supposed to storm in the middle of the night. Oh, it was such a bad idea.

Such a bad idea.

What other choice did they have?

"They moved using the main door," Hilda said, touching her nose with a knuckle before pointing at the big ceremonious gate that had been kept intact since time immemorial. "Those bastards feel comfortable enough to move as they please in  _ my _ city..." That was a low rumble, a growl that made Ingrid and Marianne's hair stand as the natural reaction of prey when the predator was discovered too late to run away. 

"The left street, sister, we can go there and try to move our way up looking for her. If something happens this time I won't be gentle and try to keep forms when they broke any past deal we had." He looked at his sister and his expression didn't soften. "Besides, you know Doro, she must be there fighting her way out one way or another."

Ingrid looked at Marianne, who had opened the trunk of the car and retrieved the backpack she usually took to the hospital. They exchanged a determined look and nodded. “Let’s go.” Ingrid said, her voice dry and her feelings repressed. Her mind was operating at a different level where only the practical logical decisions could live.

They had a mission, that was the only thing that mattered.

Hilda and Holst sprinted into action, moving through parallel streets trying to move against the wind to mask their essence as they got closer, the humans following close behind fully aware they were at disadvantage for now.

Just for now.

By what Hilda and Holst had seen, the clan was pretty confident in their capabilities. It made sense if it was a whole pack against two lone wolves. Two lone wolves away from their clan, their pack and their families in barely claimed territory near the mountains of Edmund.

That’s what they believed, at least.

Hilda had said that they thought that humans were no factors in any equation. Oh, how wrong they were.

They arrived at the door quickly, considering they were moving with all the stealth they could muster. Two humans that weren’t used to that kind of situation and two wolves that were known for being more brawn than brain. Security around the building was so low that it would’ve caught the attention of any real investigator or professional thief. Marianne walked to the little electrical panel, the last whim of the head of the Riegan house had decided to install in his most valuable possession, and input the dynamic code that was to change soon. The chase was on and they were the hunters that would bring them down one by one.

The lights were on, dim and faint barely enough to make shades out of shadows and silhouettes out of the shapeless space they didn’t know. Hilda was in front of them in no time, however, sniffing their way toward their friend. Marianne cursed in her mind all the missing opportunities she had to go to the Opera house to at least learn some of the layouts. Hilda and Holst however seemed to move as if they knew exactly where to go and what to avoid. They made them stop whenever they felt something out of place and kept them going quickly on hallways and corners to avoid detection.

They were swift, they were silent and, somehow, the wolves were able to keep to themselves despite the thunder that stormed their chest in a way to escape as a growl. Hilda could follow that trail no matter if it was dark or light, she could see Dorothea’s essence and how it dragged from the heart of the building expanding to all the escape routes as it thinner and faded. They were being led to a trap, that much was obvious and she just hoped that whatever trick Marianne had thought and whatever skills Ingrid had under her sleeve were enough for them to break through it.

But there was no other way around it, was it? They had to get Dorothea out before the crazy clan decided to move on into Enbarr where they’d be fortified in their own territory and a full-on scale war was to rage in between packs that didn’t look eye to eye.

Whatever happened outside their territory was something they wouldn’t be able to deal with back at home. Hilda suspected the only reason they were there still was the fact that they had run out of energy and needed to replenish and, surely, they hadn’t been able to break Dorothea enough as to move her.

And they wouldn’t before they got to her and got the heck out of there, the lot of traditionalist idiots.

The last door they had to cross was tainted with the smell of a dozen different wolves she didn’t know and didn’t want to be introduced to. Holst moved her aside and pushed the doors open, going through first and acting as a shield for all of the ones to follow. He’d be the one to take the bulk of whatever they had to throw. He was the shield of his family and would answer the call each time he heard it.

“She’s here,” He said, catching Ingrid with his left arm and keeping her from seeing Dorothea. Not like this. Ingrid tried to push forward, but she couldn’t help to move him away.

And it was for the best.

Dorothea was pacing around the main stage, her muzzled covered in foam and her snarl tattooed in her face, her eyes tainted by madness and anger. A heavy chain around her neck and her belly allowed her to move just a couple of meters at the time.

They had taken her to the place where she blossomed, the place where she could be truly who she wanted to be, where her talents and her abilities shone and the world bowed to her in awe and admiration. They had taken her to the stage that had acclaimed her and stripped every single little thing from her away.

Her brown rich fur stood up in between the blade of her shoulders, her long tongue hung in between her teeth and she looked around, desperate to find a way to leave. Her ears perked up when she saw them and her snarl changed into whimpers, trying to go to them. Hilda ran to her, her strides long and her fists tight. She didn’t see anything else, she didn’t care for anything else.

The growl in her throat had turned into a painful cry.

“Thea!” She jumped onto the stage, dropping to her knees and hugging her “We’re here! We’re here!” Her friend pushed against her, looking for shelter in her arms, a haven to hide from the world when she was at her lowest state. Hilda looked at the chains and took them in her hands, fully aware that she wouldn’t be able to break them and trying nonetheless. The cry of frustration that was born in her chest she couldn’t contain.

“I hoped you’d come.” Hilda turned and saw him again. Aureus Wald, the man that had the audacity to call himself Dorothea’s father. “We have unfinished business I’d rather deal with here.” 

“Oh, shut up already old man.” Hilda stood up, shielding her friend from the green eyes of the head of the Wald clan. “You really have some nerve to attack both of the children of the Goneril clan, don’t you?” She had to take a deep breath to keep her blood under control and the scent of this man, so similar to Dorothea’s and at the same time so essentially different, slapped her.

“You two are a disgrace, as your whole clan, but this isn’t your territory.” He crossed his arms and paced around her, circling both of them with a dignified expression. “And she is my daughter, therefore, she’s mine to educate and raise. I’m just doing what I had to do a long time ago.”

“Don’t you say, you creep? Is that news to you only now?” She kept moving to always face him. Hilda could hear the other wolves around, circling them from the shadows, low snarls and growls, the sole indication that she was their target and they would tear her up at the first wrong move. She smiled.

That bastard.

“Disrespectful, what else to expect from the likes of you?” He walked next to her now, into her personal space and she saw the heavily ornamented jacket he wore and the pristine white shirt underneath. His beard was clean and sleek, even the line of his hair was cut precisely and carefully.

He looked like a proper man, clean and educated.

What a fucking bag of shit, twat man.

“Pretentious fucker.” Her snarl was a pronounced one. She couldn’t know where Holst, Marianne and Ingrid had gone, her senses flooded by the smell of so many wolves and so many emotions. At the center of it all it was Dorothea, still in chains and shackled to a stage she was never supposed to be caged to, but freed by. She had to trust in them, she’d have to trust that Holst would arrive and would be the big, indomitable presence he always was. “I’ll tear you apart since we’re in neutral territory, don’t you think?”

She had to trust in Marianne and her backpack filled with surprises.

"If I remember correctly, that did not work last time, did it?" His fingers tapped his forearms, the creases in her forehead were profound and he sported an entertained smile. "You had the nerve to flee with your brother, crying for the scratches my friends marked you with the last time we saw each other. Why would now be any different?"

"You wanna test me old fart?" Hilda kept facing him, her right hand working as a shield for Dorothea. Oh, how she despised his kind. How she would gladly tear him apart and eradicate him from the world.

"You even brought humans. Nothing to be done about that, right? We'll deal with them after dealing with you two."

"You won't touch them, I assure you that." No, she would humiliate him, she would bring him low and wounded to his knees and would force him to ask for forgiveness.

“Hardly believable, given your position.” His smile was wrong, his grin just too wide to be human. Hilda smiled in the same demeanor. So he wanted to do it that way?

They’d do it that way.

“I’d say to watch out for your backbone snapping, but you don’t really have one, eh?” She’d apologize Marianne later for ripping her clothes apart. She’d make her the most beautiful ornaments she could think of to make up for it. She’d wake up early only to prepare her breakfast with the coffee and milk she liked and the little raspberry pastries she loved in bed. She’d do everything she could to see her beautiful smile in the mornings of Derdriu once more.

Her own smile turned into a grin and then into a snarl.

For the ones she loved, Hilda would tear the very sky apart.

He jumped at her halfway his transformation, hoping to gain the upper hand, Hilda dodged him in time to turn and, with a leap that was powered only by blind rage, she ripped the clothes apart and landed on top of him, unaware of the hell that had broken loose around them. She pinned him against the floor and wished for him to be gone.

Out of her city.

Out of her life.

Out of the earth that had to support his useless weight once more.

She bit his ear and pulled hard, scarring him for the rest of his life and taking away that stupid smile from his face.

The howling and the crying filled the Opera house as the cursed chants of a tragedy that had never been written but it was interpreted still.

For several seconds her mind was blank, her senses and her instincts taking control, her muscles acting and her mind repeating the same words. She would destroy him and would banish him from her existence, she would protect her clan, she would protect her family, she would provide for her mate and she would care for her until the end of her days.

Hilda had made a bow that was sealed in blood and rage and a mix of love she wasn’t able to understand yet but would explore later. When her hands free of the taint of blood would reach for Marianne’s and the woman would, finally, see her as what she truly was. She would see all her faces and all her sides, she would see she was a monster.

Hilda was a monster, her own monster.

What would Marianne think? What would Marianne decide?

She couldn’t think of that as her fangs dripped blood and her growl was a warning one, the man beneath her whimpering and exposing his throat in a simple yet important gesture. She had dominated him, asserting her hierarchy the old way, as traditions demanded. Hilda felt sick and victorious, she felt wrong and right. She grinned and howled, calling the pack around for all to see the alpha brought down to his knees and his ear destroyed, a permanent mark of his shame and his worth.

None.

Around her, the commotion just grew louder and stronger.

Holst had jumped into the fray as soon as he saw his sister, his  _ little  _ sister getting attacked by the poor excuse of a man that had tried to force his daughter away. Keeping as many wolves away as he could, next to Dorothea who was in no shape to fight and yet she still tried. He did so leaving the humans behind to watch a battle that was never meant for them to see and yet they witnessed all the same.

Ingrid just had eyes for Dorothea, for her wounded form shackled and chained. Something hot and boiling rose from her throat, something powerful enough to make her walk that way to free her, never minding the fight that had just broken loose. Marianne stopped her, grabbing her shoulder and turning her around with all her strength.

“Ingrid, don’t be crazy! You’ll get shred to pieces if you get in there!” Marianne looked at the stage, covered in blood and at her girlfriend, wrestling the brown wolf down by biting him viciously. It was so similar at the time she had wrestled Dorothea and so different all the same. She knew that the intent behind each of those attacks was one.

A shiver ran through her back.

“We need to do something!” Ingrid exclaimed, pointing at the wolves fighting, incapable to tell apart how many of them were fighting and how many were on their side. For now she could just think of the two pink ones they had brought with them. “They’ll get killed if we don’t-”

“Come with me.” And with that Marianne was gone, crouching through the seats of the Opera house and taking off her backpack to open it up. She passed Ingrid in closed plastic bags, something that felt like water and pointed to the stage. “Just throw it in there and then try to open those chains, do you still know how to pick locks?”

“Of course, Sylvain would never forgive me if I forgot something like that. What’s… never mind.” Ingrid was well above asking questions at the moment, she parted ways with Marianne and took a long detour, her eyes never leaving the stage.

She saw how Holst was able to keep at least three or four wolves at bay. She saw how Hilda kept wrestling Dororthea’s father down, she saw how a handful of other wolves circled them, seemingly unsure of what to do and who to attack.

She saw Dorothea at the center of it all, limping and panting as she kept pacing, trying to avoid the worst of it all.

It was a savage dance, a spectacle that maybe was common among werewolves but pure butchery for humans. Ingrid tried no to think about it. She tried to think in Dorothea’s warm voice, in her peaceful face when she slept, in her disheveled hair when waking up, in the imposing presence on the stage.

That wasn’t a monster.

She wasn’t a monster.

The circumstances around her push her into something she didn’t want to be.

Rage, again, filled her in as waves of an ocean she could never hope to control

She took one of the bags Marianne had passed her and, alongside the victorious howl of Hilda on top of the man, she threw it open onto the stage.

It was as if suddenly the metallic smell of blood that had flooded her senses before disappeared, completely covered by chemical pine smell. The same she used to put in her car before Dorothea told her it was too strong for her and Hilda.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

The other bags she had in her hand were just a mix of all the air fresheners she had put away mixed with alcohol and whatever Marianne had thought would make them unbearable for really developed noses, something that would make it so chemical that it would be equal to burning them alive.

The wolves that were circling the fight unsure of the side to pick turned and ran away as soon as a second bag hit the stage from the other end.

Ingrid bit down a laugh of disbelief and threw the rest of her bags, a chorus of cries the immediate reaction. She saw Hilda running back to Dorothea while she sneezed, hitting her nose with her paw. This was her chance.

She ran among fleeing wolves and through the slippery floor covered by blood and started to work in the chains there. Ingrid wasn’t sure why there were rings to secure the shackles and she wasn’t about to ask at the moment. That’s something she could learn from Claude later. Her hands looked for the lock picks she thought would never use again and started to work quickly, as quickly as her trembling fingers allowed her. Dorothea was as far away as she could whimpering and moving with her eyes close in agony.

“Steady now!” Marianne threw herself on top of the chained wolf and hoped for the best. Dorothea remained still, hiding her face in her chest and just hoping for the smell to get diminished by Marianne’s clothes. Hilda did the very same while Holst ran away to the door, crying out loud. “Ingrid!”

“Almost there!” That was much to say, she was sure, her fingers worked hard trying to pick the locks but she didn’t know if she wasn’t making any progress. She felt her heart hammering and her mind in a million places, trying to push everything away but the task at hand. If she could just break the chains.

If she could just break Dorothea free.

If she could just break Dorothea free as she had broken herself free so many years ago.

The lock from her waist opened and Dorothea wrenched once more, this time against the last binding that kept her in that cursed place, before turning and running away. Hilda followed her and Marianne and Ingrid were quick to take to their feet into a mad sprint. Just make it to the car.

Just make it to the car and leave.

And finish that nightmare of a night.

The Opera house was well illuminated and quiet, the five of them running into the night as the sky over them started, little by little, to change to purple, dawn upon them.

They were free. Completely free.

Or at least free for a couple of hours before they needed to deal with some unfinished business.

Or some unfinished people.

And, that night, as Ingrid had told Dorothea weeks ago, a car proved once more to be faster than a wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to remind y'all please drive safely. Don't be Ingrid.


	8. Your family sucks as badly as mine did (or, being supernatural doesn’t free you from bad parenting.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda and Dorothea had arrived many months ago in the open city of Derdriu. They had arrived with a deadline and a countdown tickling on top of their heads, never stopping, never going back.
> 
> And yet, in that morning where crossroads were crossed and bridges were breached and treaties burned.
> 
> Hilda and Dorothea had, finally, conquered Derdriu.

Ingrid kicked the door of her car open and opened her arms to receive Dorothea. Dorothea who was wearing clothes too small for her and who was wounded and exhausted but still had the brightest of smiles as she wrapped her and believed for once she had escaped that horrifying circus.

"Ingrid, dear!" Ingrid hugged her and spun them around, laughing and crying at the same time, before her shaking legs gave up on her and they were both sitting on the ground, laughing and crying, breathing in the same air that was the testimony of the lives they had joined together. She didn't care for the poor state Dorothea's clothes were, neither for the dirt and sweat that clung to her skin.

Dorothea was with her, she was once more with her.

"I was so worried!" Ingrid's voice was broken, she didn't mind. Dorothea tried wiping her tears from her cheeks and smudged some dirt on top. Ingrid kissed her instead, feeling her real and warm and alive in her arms. "I was so so worried!" She repeated, nesting herself in Dorothea's neck and accepting the arms that wrapped her and rocked her. Dorothea nuzzled her hair and hid her face in that blonde ocean as emotions dominated her. She did her best to keep sobs at bay and rocked them both whispering soft words meant to soothe Ingrid and herself.

She was there, she was herself, her life was hers to decide and the woman she had fallen in love with had just made her way through a sea of unknowns, an ocean of obstacles to be back with her once more. Dorothea knew at that moment she didn't want to let go of Ingrid ever again.

She knew that she had found a treasure when she wasn't truly looking, finding in the woman acceptance and unconditional love despite all the problems Dorothea could cause her due to her nature.

Kissing her felt just right, and she covered her temples and hair with soft kisses, her voice murmuring words she didn't know she had in her but were true nonetheless. 

The moment, a private one, was witnessed by the silent street and the rising sun. Holst slept still as a wolf in the back seat and Marianne had taken Hilda away, somewhere they could also talk. 

There were so many consequences to deal with after that night.

For them, intertwined in a hug that left no air to doubts or questions. They found answers they could talk about later but were already communicated in a hug that said more than words ever could.

For Dorothea and Ingrid it was a confirmation. A step through a new threshold they had wanted to cross and weren't sure how. There were thousands of things to talk and discuss, there were things they would learn as they grew as people and changed alongside each other, never quite being the same but always willing to learn.

For Ingrid and Dorothea it was a new beginning.

For Marianne and Hilda was a new side of themselves to expose. The last secret to be shared and the last piece to be stripped to show themselves as they were, naked and open and vulnerable in a place where there were no walls to hide and no lies to speak.

In a place where only the truth could be said and their glances spoke louder than their words, buried at the bottom of their chests.

Hilda was unsure to reach out for Marianne. The events in the Opera house repeated in her mind over and over and over. She could still taste the blood in her tongue and all the words that were in her mind didn't feel right. None of them felt right.

There wasn't anything to explain. Nothing to unveil. Hilda had thrown at Marianne the worst side of her, the one that could never be human. The one she despised of herself but couldn’t control. At some point, she hoped, she could leave it behind, as a long distant past she didn’t need to look at. A shadow that was to stay with the demons caged in the deep bottom of her mind.

But, how could she even try to split two halves of a whole, when they were the very same? Both the embodiment of what she feared and she loved? Both to answer the call and the cry to protect and to please when her dear ones cried her name out loud. Hilda followed Marianne, down the street and up into their apartment, her eyes fixed on the floor and her hands keeping her ragged clothes on and her mouth shut. Hilda stayed silent as they went through the door and into Marianne’s room, seated on the edge of the bed, obedient, when her girlfriend pointed her that way and went back for her first aid kit. 

It was the second time that night that she would have to stitch her gashes close and clean her new cuts, open and fresh.

They were silent, the light of the morning warming the room and softening their features tired and exhausted.

Hilda was so tired she didn’t want to think anymore, she didn’t want to pretend anymore.

She didn’t want to lose Marianne for a day more.

“Will these leave scars?” Marianne asked, pointing at the light cuts Aureus had managed to get in her forearms and some other cuts in her shins. Hilda shook her head, she would be sore and she would be sleepy. Her body would be fine, however.

Her body would keep up, of course.

Her heart was a different story.

“Don’t worry too much about stitches, really. I’ll be fine…” Hilda tried to smile while she stopped herself from grabbing Marianne’s hands with hers. Her hands stained and tainted with blood weren’t fit for her girlfriend to hold.

They weren’t fit to hold and guide her into a future that could shine for both of them as one.

So they remained there, in silence that was both strange and stagnant, uncomfortable to breathe in and impossible to shake away. How to begin a conversation no one knew how to start? How to breach a gap that words maybe couldn’t hope to explain and repair and build anew again?

Maybe they couldn’t.

Maybe they wouldn’t.

There was no starting anew, however, there never was. Their bond had changed, and it would continue to do so if they decided to be together for what was to come.

For what they could see together if they decided to walk along that path more.

“What happened there, in the Opera house… that’s me, Marianne.” Her hands clenched, they hurt, she clenched tighter still. “That’s me. That’s a monster. A real one.” Her smile was a sad one, but she concealed behind it the howling her chest cried and the certainty that she would be left alone again.

The certainty that Hilda had found in Marianne something worth fighting for and the fear she had lost something worth living for. Someone to care for and greet each morning with a kiss and a smile.

Hilda would need to lick her wounds maybe back at her family house, far away from everything that was around her. She would need to lay low and look at the landscape that had seen her grow, trying to calm the raging fire of her anger toward the man that had revealed before everybody who she truly was. Yet, was it his fault? It had been Hilda the one to transform and be the beast she knew she kept inside.

She was too tired to think about rights and wrongs.

In a sense, she just wanted to be done with it and begone, out of her presence and her smell that was the sweetest drug she had ever had and feared would ever taste.

“Hilda.”

“I’m sorry you had to see it. I’m sorry I’m this, this I can’t change…” Her smile grew, the pain in it was visible. “That’s why I shouldn’t try to apply myself, uh? Imagine how terrible it would be if I had to actually work each time they asked me to.” Hilda let out a humorless laugh. “I… I understand, just said the word and I’ll be out of here and gone.”

Her pink eyes begged her to say otherwise.

“Just say the word.”  _ But please don’t. _

Marianne took her hands and brought them to her lap, looking at the wounds in her palms, where she had run so hard and for so long she had left them raw. Thin skin covered them already, pink and red and still raw and sensitive.

Those wounds weren’t fully healed, they must have hurt Hilda when she kept pushing through the night. When she jumped in front of Dorothea to protect her from the crazy man that called himself her father. When she raised against the odds and put her very body in the line for all of them. It hadn’t been pretty to watch, it had been brutal and frightening.

Marianne, however, wasn’t scared of Hilda.

She wasn’t scared of that Hilda, the one that told her to say the word and she would leave. The one that used to wink at her and grab her hand asking for hugs to guard against the cold. The one that would sleep late in the mornings and call her half asleep to go back to bed so they could cuddle more.

Marianne, realized, had misunderstood what a monster was.

But so had Hilda.

“Does it hurt?” She ran her thumbs in her palms, grabbing each little detail in her mind.

“What?”

“This, your wounds, transforming… does it hurt when you talk about yourself like that?”

“Mari…”

“I thought I was a monster, Hilda. A different kind but a monster at the end too. Scary, cursed… dangerous.” She never stopped running her thumbs in her hands, a mantra that kept her grounded and going. “My family, my only family, is an uncle that had to raise me when my parents died. My blood is one that has been ruled out by old traditions still written in the city I was born in. My luck, I thought, was to be alone and that would be ok. Maybe, just maybe, if I helped people I would redeem myself for the sins I hadn’t committed but I had to pay for anyway…

“I don’t remember my mother’s voice and I hated me for that. I don’t remember my father’s face and I despised myself for that. How could I have forgotten the ones that gave everything for me? Whenever I try to think about them I just see my uncle and his cold stare, his polite and disinterested stare. His curt nods. I was alone, and in my loneliness I thought something was wrong with me. Something had to be for me to be that way, right? Something had to for me to be alone all the time, right?”

“Mari…”

“You said I’d always have you. You said that we were our own to decide. I pretend to hold you true to your word… I still want you in my life. You aren’t to pay for sins that don’t exist when you just protected us.”

“You saw me there, you saw what I’m capable of. You saw how I…” Hilda wasn’t able to look at Marianne’s eye. Not quite yet.

No, when hope bloomed in her chest and threatened to drown her.

“I saw you protecting your friend and fighting bravely against all odds…” Marianne let go of her hands to grab her shoulders. Her words now were painted with desperation, with need, with pain. Marianne was grabbing onto Hilda like she was the only sign of happiness in days and nights that had been grey for her for a long time. “I was scared, I was worried, I was so worried something would happen to you. Something so outside of my scope. You went to a place I couldn’t follow you and I couldn’t understand. That scares me, Hilda.

“It scares me to be left alone again.” And with that, she was silent, no more words to share, no more secrets to hide.

Her story, the missing pieces she still had to find, were in the cracks of that simple revelation. Fell in line with the fears and grieves that had accompanied her for many years to now.

“You… don’t hate me?”

“I don’t think I’m capable of.”

“But, Mari…”

“Just… sleep with me, okay? Hold me tight and let’s sleep some hours before I pass out of exertion…” That was a bit extreme, she believed Hilda was closer to fatigue than her, yet the woman didn’t complain, she nodded and climbed to bed, nuzzling against her chest and nesting her face in the creek of her neck.

Yes, there were many things that would follow. There were many things to resolve.

So many stories to tell.

So many words to share.

But in that morning, in a silence that had been renewed between them, the softness of their breath was the only proof they needed to give in to the love they felt. To be swept and drowned by it. An ocean that would never be calm, and yet had never been sweeter.

There weren’t monsters.

Just two beings trying to be whole and the best for each other.

* * *

Ingrid thought she would never get enough of watching Dorothea's smile. It didn't matter if it was in the long night of a cruel winter or in the stagnant heat of a summer's noon. It gave her heart winds to soar and her soul a reason to try and believe. It made her feel like the trip had been worth it, the effort hadn't been in vain, her feelings hadn't been illusions.

Dorothea smiling at her, no matter the day, no matter the season, no matter the hour.

Oh, she was so in love and she couldn't hide it from herself any longer.

Ingrid hugged her once more and let herself be consumed by her warm skin, the heart in her chest beating and telling her it wasn't a dream. Dorothea was back, Dorothea was back with her.

Dorothea was back with her and everything would one way or another fall back in place.

"I was so worried..." She muttered for what could be the tenth time since they had gotten back together, now in Ingrid's room. Ingrid had made sure to visit their kitchen and pantry to put together some sandwiches with a generous portion of cream cheese and butter, whatever she could find that would silence their now rumbling stomachs that had finally caught up with everything that had been going on and demanded their share. They simply had sat down on the floor, eating in silence next to each other and letting their company be the soothing words they needed to hear and the healing salve to cover their wounds and mend what had been broken and severed.

Dorothea grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. Ingrid felt how hot tears were born yet again in her throat. She pushed through them still.

She needed to say it.

She needed to let those words fly, free and brave, soar through the newfound courage her heart had found through that hell of a night.

"I thought I would never see you again. I would never hear your voice again. I would never kiss you again." The heel of her right hand was as good as anything to clean the sole tear that had escaped her imprisonment. Her right hand was held by Dorothea. "Can you imagine? Instead of a big breakup or me screwing up as always, something I could just blame on myself to give me some sense of closeness, you just… disappeared?" She bit her lower lip, knowing well there were things still to be said and she had to speak them if she wished to reach for her own freedom. "Disappeared, Dorothea. I thought… I thought..."

A shattered, ragged breath, taking in air to keep going.

Keep going.

Dorothea hugged her and her embrace was warm, it called her to get lost in it. Ingrid did, hiding her face in between her neck and shoulder and letting her tears flow free, speaking from there in muffled cries and sobs that still made sense. "I lost it, I didn't know what to do, I wasn't in control. I was powerless, powerless! I never wanted to feel like that ever again!"

Dorothea mused her short hair with her fingertips and kept rocking her, inviting her to open up, to let it out. To be herself.

Dorothea wanted nothing but Ingrid and everything she had to offer.

Everything.

"It isn't fair, it isn't fair that everything was taken away from us once more. I ran out, I escaped already. I thought I was done escaping from people and from places. I thought I was strong enough, mature enough, that I knew myself enough." Ingrid sniffed, her hands had gripped Dorothea's shirt, the one she had lent her, and her fingers trembled. "I wasn't, I wasn't. I was so powerless. Dorothea, I'm just so happy and so disappointed in myself."

"Ingrid, dear, no. Please, don't say that!"

"When I was a kid..." She cleared her throat, her voice hurt, her chest hurt, her limbs were heavy and a treacherous voice in her mind told her to let go, to remain silent, and enjoy the warmth she had been given in the strong arms of a woman that loved her and had told her so before. To let herself to be cradled and to keep her secrets to herself.

Remain that fake image of strength and support.

"When I was a kid, "she continued, taking a leap of faith and wishing that Dorothea would always be there to catch her. "I wasn't who I am today, I wasn't even a shadow of who I wanted to be. I'm… did I ever tell you I worked as a broker for my family?"

Dorothea had to blink and resist the urge to separate them to look at her Ingrid. A broker, the woman who loved being outdoors, who loved helping people, who despised the way finances could get in the way of basic needs and well being, a broker?

"You didn't, dear." She simply said, an invitation so she could keep talking in the safe environment that was her hug and her arms, free of judgment and sharp words.

Never for her.

"My family's got an insurance company. Fancy, prestigious, dirty and corrupted. They sent me to Derdriu to study. I met Marianne here, I… I was free here, and I realized I never wanted to go back. So I didn't."

"Ingrid..."

"When I was a kid my parents weren't bad. They just... had grand ideas for me and of what I should be. Sylvain and Felix were my only true friends. Sylvain even taught me to pick locks in high school, I suppose I didn't understand it at the moment. Guess it was useful in the end, wasn't it?" Ingrid laughed and pushed back, putting space between them so she could watch Dorothea's green eyes, a treasure life had put in her path. 

"I ran away from all of it, I left the company that wasn't really helping anybody and I just… lived here. I lived instead of surviving and soon enough days turned into months and years so quickly I lost track of them." She smiled, averting her gaze for the first time that morning. "And then you came along and… and before I knew it I had fallen in love with you. I lost control without realizing, the thing I'm afraid the most and I didn't realize until now." She used the back of her hand to wipe at her nose and scoffed down on herself. "I lost control so much that did all the crazy things we did this night and to just tell you all of this… I won't want you to go. Not like this. Never like this.

"Don't ever leave me like this." Those last words were almost lost, her voice small and her fears big. She pushed forward. She had to push forward.

For Dorothea, she had to.

Ingrid brought her gaze back on a whim of courage and waited. 

"I promise you I won't. I won't. We'll face it together and if we ever feel like we can't do it any longer, it will be for our own volition and nothing else." Dorothea said in her ear, kissing her temples, her blonde hair, her warm skin.

For their volition and nothing else.

It was a promise, it was a statement, it was a declaration of intentions.

They had taken a step more in the journey that was life. They had moved into the direction they wanted to live their lives.

There was no turning back.

Never turning back.

* * *

Marianne looked at Holst and his already bushy beard and supposed that it was something werewolves had to deal with as well. He didn't seem to mind, scratching it mindlessly before taking a sip of his mug of coffee. Alongside his black eye, he looked intimidating.

He was her brother-in-law, in a sense, her brother.

Her family had grown without her even realizing.

"You think we can trust Claude with this information?" He asked, looking at Hilda in a non-judgemental manner. His sister seemed defensive toward him, defending every word she said. Marianne had taken her hand and squeezed trying to calm her. They could talk about it later.

Later, there were just so many emotions they could sort out per day.

"I don't think we have any other option now. He basically gave us the info to bust us in and out." Hilda's tone was exasperated, there were bags under her eyes and she was tired as she hadn't been in a long time.

Hilda just wanted the whole thing to be over already and sleep for a week at least.

"If mom and dad were here-"

'But they aren't, they sent me here to do the family job and I will handle it as I see fit." She sighed, closing her eyes and breathing in deep, using her left hand to rub her face. "Sorry, we still need to deal with that asshole and we should answer Claude soon, it's a bit too much..." Hilda sighed again and looked at Dorothea, at the other end of the table next to Ingrid looking every bit as exhausted as the rest of them. "I'm sorry I called your father an asshole. I'm more sorry you're related to him."

“Oh, he’s so full of shit that I’m sure he’d love for Chopin’s Fantaisie-Impromptu intro to play every time he gets into a building, that fucker.” Dorothea scoffed, enough to make Hilda and Holst smile.

Yes, that was Dorothea all right.

They shared a moment in silence. Their eyelids were heavy and their minds foggy. They would soon run out of time, of course. After that night there was still business to attend. It bugged Hilda and Dorothea to no end. The elephant in the room for the three wolves and the big question for the two humans.

What next about Aureus Wald.

Dorothea grabbed the cup of tea in front of her and frowned, picking her words carefully, trying to put in a logical order the series of events that had happened last night. She had been chained, furious, tired and scared, a maelstrom of feelings that had replaced her thinking mind, throwing her into disarray where only her instincts had place.

That, however, wasn't enough to not realize what had happened.

Hilda had defeated Aureus fair and square, he had shown submission and had exposed his soft throat to her when he couldn't take the pain and the fight any longer. In a sense, Hilda was his new Alpha. Or something of the sort.

She refused to use old terms as such to describe relationships between people. Aureus, on the other hand, would be horrified not to use them, at least until now that those very titles were his demise.

"We need to find him and you need to flex on him again that big muscle of yours," Dorothea said, looking at her friend over the edge of her cup. "He will obey and you know that. He has to."

"Ugh, yes, but that would mean you're under me and that  _ he, _ " everybody could taste the despise in that word, "would be beneath me too. It will complicate things if he keeps pushing them and I don't think that jackass is ready to let it die."

"Umh, do you mind explaining a bit more?" Marianne tugged at Hilda's hand, raising her eyebrows. Ingrid nodded, her arms crossed over her chest. Hilda's grimace grew and she sighed, rubbing her face again. Marianne knew she had that little tick whenever she was tired or stressed.

"I won a fight against that idiot, I dominated him and now he must obey whatever I say or challenge me again to try to swap roles. Or so our stupid law says..."

"You have laws?" Ingrid pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to wrap her mind around this new information. Dorothea had forgotten to mention that it seemed and now they didn't have the luxury of time to absorb and process whatever text or tradition that was considered common knowledge among them.

"Some old book that resembles a code, yeah." Holst left the cup on the table, his height more pronounced since he was standing next to the table. "It's ancient though, nobody really uses it but for some old nobles like this scum."

"The less I have to do with that old thing the better." 

"You have to, little sis, I don't see another way around it." He lied. He did see a different way out of that mess, but Holst knew better than cheating his sister out. He knew better than just handing Hilda the answer or to give her a way out of her responsibilities. She had found a palace and a home in Derdriu.

He could see that much at least.

Whatever their parents said or that old fart that thought too much of himself had no place in the path she had taken in life.

"I hate this idiot and his fixation in making me work..." She sighed, hitting her forehead against the table. "Guess we don't have any other bright ideas, right?" Marianne massaged her shoulders in small circles.

"Nope, I'm still not comfortable telling Claude, but we can tell him something to appease him in the meantime. I can pay him a visit later too..."His tone dropped an octave when he said that, a threatening presence if they had ever seen one. Hilda looked at him from the table and sighed, shaking her head.

"Please, don't scare off good old Claude. I'll talk to him after we deal with all this mess. Thea, mind joining me for a moment? We need to talk about some details." She got up, kissing Marianne's knuckles as a goodbye before leaving toward the small kitchen Dorothea in tow. She could smell the curiosity and the anxiousness from Ingrid and Marianne. It wasn't fair to have them away when they wanted to be close, it was true, but the sooner they could finish the whole endeavor, the better.

Dorothea closed the door behind her and sighed, rubbing her temples and frowning. The talk they needed to have wasn't an easy or light one.

Crossroads still waiting for them, for the path they were to take when making decisions was to be unfolded.

“You know what it means if I call that stupid law.” Hilda was straight to the chase, no need to sugar coat it or change it. There weren’t many secrets between them. None when it came to their living agreements and how their society perceived them.

They were both under the protection of Hilda’s parents. They were both part of the Goneril clan, even if Dorothea was an outsider, she had been around enough to be adopted by the family and to be raised and educated in their traditions.

Yet, time changed and the world moved on. The world moved on and they were bound to move with it. If Hilda was to face Aureus again, she would have to call for the old tradition of duels and claim that territory as hers and the wolves around it would be either welcomed or banished. Pushed to the very limit of the city to never set foot again unless she was to call them. It would mean Dorothea would be under her protection and under her clan.

A new clan.

A new clan with only two wolves and maybe, just maybe, two humans.

That was madness, yes. It was madness she liked, however.

“I know. I must say I’m not sure how to feel about it, but I almost want you to do it just to see that stupid noble crying in his knees bowing before the new alpha around.” Dorothea leaned against the door, her hands behind her back. She wanted to have a light free expression, a demeanor carefree and understanding. It was for the best.

It was for the best.

“We can make him run away whining and crying, it’s the very least he deserves... “ Hilda shifted the weight from foot to foot. “You know you’re my equal and this is just a dumb tradition.”

“If we do this, you will be responsible for me, darling. Are you sure you want that work?”

“Didn’t you know? If I’m the boss I’m delegating absolutely all my tasks. You’ll be the one in patrol all the time” She winked, grabbing her right elbow with her left fist, as her body language changed, inviting her friend to banter with her for a bit longer.

“Oh, you wouldn’t need to ask me that. Just put something in Ingrid’s car or ambulance and she’d do it for you free of charge.” Dorothea raised an eyebrow as if she were saying something obvious.

“Aaww, would you make her do that for me? What a kind friend you are!”

“Well, well, you are giving me the satisfaction to see my twat father ran away swat at by the very thing he loves.” Dorothea’s smile grew warm and confident, she was feeling herself more and more with each passing second. “I don’t think it’s a bad arraignment, Hilda. It would mean we’re both free. Truly free.”

“You aren’t truly free if your peers look at you and see just a link of a pyramid instead of the whole person you are.” She retorted, her own insecurities and issues coming up.

Dorothea smiled and walked to her, slow strides to keep her strength and energy.

“Yes. I did swear to myself years ago that I would never be back empty-handed. I did tell myself that I would never ever again be back in the streets with nothing, just the clothes on my back and the grief and sorrow in my chest. I remember but…” Dorothea put her hand on Hilda’s shoulder, the one that was still wounded and that Marianne had bandaged once more. “That I would make sure that I was to carve a path for myself and my name only would be enough. Isn’t this a way of doing it? Aren’t you picking me solely because of who I am?”

“Thea…”

“I think the clan Arnault Goneril has a nice ring to it.” Dorothea winked, letting go of Hilda and starting her way back to the living room. “A clan where there are no stupid rules and we like the liberal arts and the dirty lefties that destroy the economy.”

Hilda laughed, shaking her head and scratching her forearm where one of her cuts was itchy already.

“Say what you want, but you are the one that’s doing all the work and thinking here.”

“Well, of course, darling! You have always been better at your hands and your muscles than me.” Dorothea turned and tilted forward. “Brawn and skills, and if you aren’t sure you can ask Marianne and I’m sure she’ll say the very same.”

“Oh, I’ll get you back. Ingrid is way easier to fluster than Mari.” Hilda pushed her lightly. “Now, let’s go back to our girlfriends, please? I’m afraid what Holst may tell them about our childhood if we left them alone any longer.”

“Agreed.”

An agreement, as simple as that. Words and understanding.

Communication.

That was the true key they had always needed to face the world no matter what happened around them. Hilda and Dorothea had shown, once more, why they were a team not to be reckoned with.

A duo not to be messed with.

True to Hilda’s fears, Holst was trying to defuse the tension that had taken hold of the humans by telling them the first time Hilda transformed into a wolf and the absolute mess it was. The woman elbowed him with a bright smile, making him laugh out of pain.

They were ready for what was to come.

Or almost ready. Hilda would never face the world as the new alpha of an almost non-existent clan without a proper shower first. Dorothea would be very much the same. If they were to storm the world and rule Derdriu under their thumb by their own rules, then they’d do it in style.

* * *

Aureus Wald was a proud man. He had always been, he would always be.

He took pride in his blood, which he had said was pristine. He took pride in his clothes, carefully tailored and chosen each day.

He took pride in the way he managed himself through life.

And the things he didn’t take pride in he tended to forget. Why bothering to live in the past when the future was the open way that would inevitably find them all? The past was a place he didn’t like to visit, a place he thought little of and he wished to eradicate from time to time to be truly free from it.

His left ear sent a new jab of pain, the stinging feeling of his flesh mending back together but never quite the same that it was. Hilda had destroyed it so badly that even his healing abilities wouldn’t return it to its former state.

No, he was to carry that scarred ear for the rest of his life.

The past had decided that he needed a constant reminder of the things he couldn’t be proud of.

His fingers were quick to finish the last touches to his tie and the reflection in the mirror was sharp and dapper. Other than the stupid bandage at the side of his head, he was his usual, formal self. He turned and some of the members of his clan bowed.

There were fewer that day than the morning before.

Some had fled after the fight. Some had decided to turn their back to him and leave the clan after he had been defeated by a brat. By the youngest daughter of the Goneril family. How shameful, how pathetic.

Oh, how he wished to leave it all behind.

Yet, as time immemorial, the past was as inevitable as the future.

“Sir, they’re here.” Of course, they were, in a rush to finish what he had started. His displeasure was written in his face. Unfortunately, things had turned sour for him and a bit more violent than he intended at first. The Riegan family hadn’t taken kindly that part of the Opera house stage had to be cleaned aggressively due to the stains of blood on the wooden floor or the splinters their little quarrel had caused. He had forgotten that the Riegans were cowards, unwilling to go to the true extent an old friendship and treaty called for.

Aureos rolled his shoulders and practiced his best confident smile.

Dorothea was a great actress thanks in part to his own talents that had been passed along to that ungrateful kid. Just out of his reach to educate into a proper wolf.

His fangs grew a centimeter.

He’d need to think about it later. Dismissing the boy with a flick of his wrist, he looked at his reflection once more before breathing in deep and leaving his quarters to the study he had been using the past days. There were no many cards in his hand, he had no leverage to play with. His clan had seen what happened and they were respectful of their old traditions. They would wait and watch for what the girl had to demand, she could put her conditions and he would need to obey or fight her back once more.

His ear sent an electric wave through his body at the thought.

What an ugly business.

In his study there were the Goneril children, his daughter who smirked at him and the two humans. Of course, she had brought all her pack or what she thought she could call a pack. Humans knowing about wolves, if that was his territory he would…

The past was to be left behind. He sat at his desk and glanced at them, measuring their intentions by the look of their faces. This was due to be a more civilized exchange. Their fangs had finished talking the night before, and it showed in the delicate ornaments Hilda was wearing. She eyed him, her eyes were marked by distrust and condescendence. 

She smiled. It was worse than an insult or a spit to his face.

He smiled in retaliation.

“So, you, whatever your name is.” Hilda started, walking to his desk and putting both of her hands on the clean and smooth wood. “This is what’s gonna happen. You’ll leave this place, pay my good friend Claude all the damage we did last night and this is from now on  _ my _ territory.” 

“What are you doing, child? You’re taking on way more than you can chew.” He had words, and just words now. He might as well use them and strive for the best. “You’re not cut for this job. I’ve heard about you, you like making ornaments and spending your days in the city instead of patrolling, don’t you?” He pointed at the delicately crafted earrings she was wearing. “Quite exquisite I must admit. Then, why do this to yourself? We don’t have a real quarrel, you and I. We don’t even have old nasty unfinished business between clans.” He tilted forward, his eyes so focused and intense they reminded her of Dorothea’s. “Just let me take what’s mine by right and I’ll be gone. I even will pay the damage even if this was just a friendly agreement the Riegan owed my family from a long time ago.”

He believed it was a reasonable proposition. They were never to mingle in the first place. The Goneril presence had been circumstantial and just a thorn on his side he intended to get rid of that day.

Hilda’s smile was misleading, her fingers were digging into the wood of his desk and each nail had carved itself into the wood relentlessly. They were at two different sides of the table, on positions that would never see eye to eye.

But there wasn’t anything to discuss at that moment.

“That’s the problem, old man. You think that we are alike just because of who we are and what we share but I am nothing like you.” Hilda’s voice was leveled, calculated, purposeful and strong. She had the upper hand, she was the strong warrior that had defeated him when he decided to take things to an unspoken duel. She was her superior and she would show him why. “Traditions, law, old things written in paper and ink that faded with time. None of that matters, you live anchored to a past that gives your stability because you’re too afraid to change, you’re afraid of adapting and afraid of losing the little power your filthy paws could grab.” She didn’t move a muscle, her eyes locked on his. The room around them had felt in deadly silence and she knew her pack was behind her, supporting her, trusting in her.

She would never let them down.

The wolves from the Wald clan, however, had no reason to be loyal to their master. They had no reason to follow a man that had fallen to the strength of Hilda Valentine Goneril.

“You’re insignificant. This is my territory now, leave and never come back or face me again in a duel so I can make your ears match.” Hilda pointed at his left side and waited. She knew he was scared of her, he couldn’t hide behind masks when his smell betrayed his emotions. She knew he wouldn’t go back to a duel with her. 

Hilda knew that none of the wolves around them would dare to intervene.

Hilda stood, proud, over the territory she had unknowingly conquered, driven by the love of her friends and her inherent wish to provide for her mate a better future, fertile territory where she could thrive and they could live surrounded by the love of their close ones.

They had arrived with a simple mission, keep the city in check and just live there to abide old traditions, appease and soothe the wishes of those who lived in the past and refused to look into the future. They had arrived with curiosity and a deadline to look forward to.

Dorothea and Hilda had arrived not truly sure of what to expect.

As Aureus growled and yet bowed his head, she knew she was victorious.

She knew they had won.

Hilda and Dorothea had arrived many months ago in the open city of Derdriu. They had arrived with a deadline and a countdown tickling on top of their heads, never stopping, never going back.

And yet, in that morning where crossroads were crossed and bridges were breached and treaties burned.

Hilda and Dorothea had, finally, conquered Derdriu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could've stopped a bit more with Doro's father, but I don't want to hijack the focus of this story: Werewolve lesbians in love.
> 
> Only one chapter to go, the epilogue.
> 
> I don't know how this happened, but it did.
> 
> Enjoy!


	9. We don’t think we have more secrets to tell (or, I love you under the sky of Derdriu and under the sun of the vast world around.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life, somehow, had managed to find its rhythm and they had paced to it once more. Or so Hilda thought, as she accepted a kiss from Marianne and the cup of tea she had brought to her desk while she worked in the delicate ornament she was crafting.

Life, somehow, had managed to find its rhythm and they had paced to it once more. Or so Hilda thought, as she accepted a kiss from Marianne and the cup of tea she had brought to her desk while she worked in the delicate ornament she was crafting.

Because she had learned to love with no hurries, no rush, day and night, unbothered and indifferent by witnesses. She had learned to love and it wasn’t painful, it wasn’t forceful. It was the undeniable truth the air and the water would murmur each day in each season.

It was the joy of being and knowing.

The realization that it was a path to be walked on and not a goal to obtain.

The understanding that love, like everything in life, came in different colors, shapes, words and signs. And yet, at the very bottom, it remained the same. A lingering feeling that was never shortened by sharing, that was never dry by drinking from it.

It was a path, a trail to walk. It was a way for the ones that went and the ones that returned.

A trail had no gates, but open ranges and the never silent flowing stream of life, as water that made its way back to the ocean and then returning again to the sky that embraced us all.

“Sweetie, you wanna eat out tonight?” Hilda had had a sip of her tea and her stomach had rumbled, reminding her that she needed something just a bit more consistent and hearty to make it through the night. Hilda, however, could translate that primal urge into something civilized and coherent. Something Marianne could tilt her head to and smile before nodding.

Oh, she was so beautiful no matter the day or the hour.

Hilda drank more of her tea and looked at those hazel eyes she would trade her life for willingly.

“Sure, sushi?”

“Oh, Mari, you know me too well!” Hilda winked and stood, going through the plethora of products and little pieces and tools she had on top of her desk to pull one of the latest she had created and hadn’t decided to put up for sale just yet. “We can dress up, I just made these for you and I think they would go really well with your lovely shade of blue.” Marianne waited patiently as Hilda tried the earrings on her and carved in her mind the little details she saw to fix and change, notes to further tailor those pieces to the woman she loved.

Her inspiration to work and make something better, make a better city free of the threats she could deal with so Marianne would live a free life of them.

“Yes, dear.” Hilda beamed at her answer and Marianne felt how her own heart melted in her chest. She cupped her cheeks with her palms and drew the line of her jaw with her fingertips, barely touching her warm skin, before kissing her lightly. Barely a touch enough to make them tingle and wish for more.

Always for more.

Yes, life had found its rhythm once more, it had tumbled and it had turned spinning their wheels. It had taken sharp curves and had asked important decisions from them out of the blue before returning once more to its natural curse. The rush of a river when the snow melts in spring before setting into a wide and yet shallow curse in summer.

Life had found its rhythm once more.

And they had found a life to be lived next to each other.

Marianne nuzzled her forehead with her nose, before leaving and promising to get back to fetch her in less than an hour. Hilda sat back at her table and kept working, humming to herself a song that just made clearer how lovestruck she was. The light of autumn as it moved to winter was warm and helpful, making the silver in her hands shine as gold and the gold waiting on a little plastic cube glow like a little sun. 

She preferred silver for Marianne, however.

Holst had already gone back after his surprise visit that had turned so wrong. He stayed a week longer in which he made sure Ingrid and Marianne heard every little embarrassing detail he could remember of them while growing up. That time when Dorothea had had the great idea of eating spicy food with no regards to her smell sense whatsoever, to when Hilda got stuck in a fence and some hikers had to help out that poor and lost dog. He had been a nice reminder of home, a taste of what she had left behind and would always be available for her.

It was, as well, a sample of what she could strive to accomplish for them.

The sun of Derdriu could be harsh and its summer’s humid. Yes.

But it could be their home as well.

And Ingrid was aware of it as she parked the ambulance once more after a day filled with emergencies and calls and sighed, killing the engine. She smiled at her coworkers who were already opening up the vehicle and jumping out, ready to call it a day. It had been weeks since Ingrid had done everything she thought herself incapable of. It was a mystery still to her how she had managed to avoid detection and speeding tickets, not to mention the suspension of her working license and all the problems she could’ve gotten into.

Of course, Ingrid hadn’t care.

She believed she wouldn’t care even now.

“Say Dorothea hi for me, would you? I’d love for us to visit again and play some cards once more!” Mercedes winked, failing this time to make Ingrid blush. The woman had gotten used to the teasing and now she just smiled and nodded, too happy and at peace with the fact that her girlfriend, her _werewolf_ girlfriend, was a big part of her life. Dorothea shared many of her nights, her talks with friends, their weekends away near the forest they had grown fond of, on a couch watching movies that Dorothea would later replay when they were along adding a little twist here and there to make Ingrid laugh.

Her smile was big when she closed the door of her own car and drove to her local gym. It was easy to get into a routine when Dorothea was in her life. It was easy to turn to her and smile, and open her arms and laid her secrets bare for her to share and trust.

It was easy for Ingrid to be herself when she was around Dorothea. Her mind consumed by the love she never quite believed she would find and she was capable of. Giving and taking in an interchange free and wide.

A path that was to be explored each day and each night.

A path that was a gift and piece of work every time.

Ingrid drove calmly, correctly, following every rule, through Derdriu and she didn’t question how the afternoon turned into night and how the dark sky brought a chill in the air when she left the gym freshly showered and a duffel back slinging in her shoulder. She planned to stay at Hilda and Dorothea’s apartment that night. Marianne had texted her before telling her she was going out with Hilda for dinner and then returning home. Ingrid had scratched her nape for a second before calling the songstress and sorting out some details for their meeting that night. It was common for them to stay together changing just apartments, sometimes the four of them in the same apartment, sometimes two and two.

It gave her an idea she had to discuss with Marianne yet, but that it was stronger and stronger every day.

Ingrid took a turn and a detour to her final goal, dutifully going through Derdriu’s territory they were supposed to watch over. Dorothea had insisted that those traditions were almost gone but better be safe than sorry. Ingrid had to accept she didn’t understand that much about it, but she carried something from Hilda and Dorothea in her trunk and driving ten minutes more didn’t seem like a big price to pay for any other crazy wolf to leave them alone. After Hilda’s big flex on Aureus, they had resolved some of the pending issues about territory. Holst had been knowledgeable regarding it, pointing limits and natural barriers in the map, as well as acting as a representative of the Goneril clan to make the separation official.

Ingrid and Marianne had remained behind, waiting for the whole thing to be done and hoping for the best.

A red light made her stop, soft music from her radio kept her mind away.

Talking to Claude had been more complicated as he had politely put it, he had stuck his neck and butt for them and wanted real answers. Hilda had been blunt and told him the truth without keeping any secrets, in about half an hour in which she didn’t stop talking she explained her childhood, her nature, the reason they were back at Derdriu, the time after they had parted ways in the Theater and the crazy day and night that had followed.

Claude and his smart green eyes had listened to her carefully, never stopping her to ask a question and just sipping the coffee Marianne had prepared for him, before sighing and saying that the world was more complicated than he had thought at first.

Dorothea hoped they could trust him. Hilda was sure they could trust him.

Claude had sworn that their secrets would be safe with him.

There were still hundreds of little things to unfold yet, small pieces of information they were bound to discover and explore with time. Ingrid had yet to tell Dorothea much about her past, about her friends in Faerghus and her friends in Leicester. About her siblings and her parents. Maybe Ingrid would find someday even the strength and the love to look back and try to mend the bridges she had severed when she realized she had to prioritize herself first. When she realized that distance was a shelter and a shield and she needed to heal before moving forward.

Her head was still deep in those considerations when she knocked on the door’s apartment and was swept in by the strong and yet gentle arms of her girlfriend hugging her. Ingrid smiled and laughed, trying to keep standing despite how hard Dorothea had pulled her in.

She had loved, she had lost.

And she had loved again.

A cycle that knew how to renew itself again and once more.

“Hey there, love.” She said when she was able to detangle herself from Dorothjea’s loving arms, kissing her hello and stepping in the apartment that was still every piece of a mess as the first time she had gone into, but know she knew how to navigate such a place, mapped by routes she couldn't see but had been told about.

In comparison, Hilda stepped carefully following trails only visible for her nose in Ingrid and Marianne’s apartment at the same time kilometers away.

“You want some delivery?” Ingrid asked, pulling out her phone and already tapping in the food app they used to use to get their meals delivered. “What about some meat?” She said, looking at it, feeling Dorothea over her shoulder humming in approval.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay this time, sweetie?” Hilda was looking at Marianne, how she changed from her comfortable clothes into something a bit fancier, something that would go with the new earrings Hilda had gifted, Marianne had said.

“Oh, no, no. Let us split.” Marianne put over her clothes a jacket and asked Hilda how it looked by raising her eyebrows. Hilda nodded, walking toward her with a slight frown.

“I did invite you, however.” She said, hugging her by her waist and setting her forehead between Marianne’s shoulder blades. Hilda thought she would never get enough of her warmth and her scent. So enticing, so intoxicating.

“The account is already linked to my card, don’t worry too much about it,” Ingrid said, sitting at the table and rolling her shoulders. She was stiff and sore after deciding she was in shape to take a bit more weight and strain in her exercise routine. Dorothea massaged her muscles and Ingrid relaxed into her touch, closing her eyes and sighing in content. “How was your rehearsal?”

“Oh, you know, working with Manuela is a treat! I felt like our time together wasn’t enough, but I guess I shall wait until tomorrow, won’t I?” Dorothea murmured, her fingers gentle and yet strong in her neck. Ingrid forgot she had to answer for a second.

“You really outdid yourself this time, dear.” Marianne looked at her reflection, already changed, and wearing Hilda’s new ornament. A delicate piece of work she could’ve never dreamed about but Hilda seemed to produce so easily it was astonishing.

“Oh, I just had to imagine how beautiful you’ll look with them, and then it was easy,” She said, winking and laughing when Marianne smacked her shoulder playfully. “It’s true! I just put work into something when it’s about you!”

“I know… and it’s embarrassing and lovely at the same time.” Marianne blushed as she said it, making Hilda playful banter stop. She walked closer to her, hugging Marianne tight and rocking both of them to a rhythm that belonged to no one but themselves. Marianne sighed and returned the hug, letting the fierce love of Hilda take away the weight of the day. “I love you.” She whispered, feeling like she never said it enough.

“I love you too, dummy,” Hilda said, picking her up gently and rejoicing in feeling Marianne’s weight in her arms. The first time she had done so Marianne had yipped and blushed, asking Hilda to put her down, now she laughed and her laugh was everything Hilda was after.

Yet she could have a bit more fun, couldn’t she?

The world was theirs, after all.

“Are you asleep, dear? You drool when you sleep on a chair.” Dorothea patted Ingrid’s shoulders, bringing her back to the world from the blissful plain she had entered with a gasp. She breathed in deep and stretched, not paying attention to the little jab there.

It was Dorothea the one who used to drool when she slept a bit too much.

“I’ve been thinking,” Ingrid said, now cracking her neck and sighing in relief when her whole body seemed to fall in place once more. Dorothea’s eyes were curious when they looked at her, but she remained silent and waited for Ingrid to continue her line of thought. “And you can think this is because I’m hungry but consider this.” Ingrid put her hands on the table and used it to exemplify what she was thinking. “We’ve been spending a lot of time in each other's houses, moving around and planning it in advance, what if…”

“We just move in together?” Hilda asked, breathless when she stopped spinning them around and looked at Marianne’s perplexed eyes.

“The four of us?” Dorothea rested her chin in her hands, her curious glance had turned into an alert one. “Are you sure you want to walk into that?”

“But wouldn’t we intrude in your lives? You have a system that we can’t even see.” Marianne looked at her worried, her hazel eyes were filled with questions her clever mind supplied by the second. Hilda knew it was a crazy idea.

But declaring her own clan had been a crazier idea.

It could work.

“It can work if we work together,” Dorothea said, looking into herself for answers. “I think it’d be harder for the two of you.” She pointed at her with her index lazily. Ingrid’s phone buzzed letting them know that her meal was on their way.

“Yes, but we can afford something big, I think,” Ingrid said, locking her phone and using her hands to explain herself more.

“I wouldn’t like to go to one of my old family houses or something. We could find a new place for ourselves.” Hilda hadn’t let go of Marianne’s hands, squeezing them gently to reassure her. “I know it’s crazy and we don’t need to do it, of course! Or even if we do, it doesn’t have to be now I just…”

“I just want the four of us living together. I think it would be better for all of us if we did. It certainly would be easier to plan around our holidays and everything else.” Ingrid looked at her, trying to convince her of all the upsides she saw in it. She tried to tell her in a roundabout way she wanted to wake up next to her or at least under the same roof every day.

“We could get a dog, Mari! You wanted a Great Dane, didn’t you, sweetie?” Hilda smiled and she saw how Marianne was giving in to the idea. She had planted a seed that could blossom into something amazing.

She had planted a tree that blossomed purple in spring and changed to red in fall. It just needed time and care to thrive.

They had plenty of time.

“I imagine Marianne will feel dismayed by looking at the pantry we would need for the three of us.” Dorothea flipped her hair but her smile was an entertained one. “And I could look for a cellar, _finally_ ”

Ingrid rolled her eyes and was about to say something more when the doorbell rang. She got up to get their food.

“If we do that you could get a separate room for your workshop, instead of having everything in your room…” Marianne thought out loud, her hand resting in her chin as she thought.

Hilda smiled and nodded.

Of course.

Whatever she needed, whatever she wanted. Hilda could ask her the moon and she would replicate it in a pale pendant framed by the beautiful black of the night sky, rich and powerful as the ocean before dawn.

Ingrid closed the door and told Dorothea to wait while she fixed them some plates. She would get something going with the prepared dishes and whatever they had in their kitchen and put before her girlfriend a meal that was worthy of her. She wished to do so every day.

They would always strive for more.

Every morning.

Every night.

When the seasons changed.

When things turned sour, they would always try and would try again.

For that was the very nature of love and, in Derdriu, they were free to love who they wished as they wished.

As the late bloom of an early spring that knew how to endure through the seasons to blossom in spring once more. They were to love and to be loved, under the sun of Derdriu, in their open streets, at the warmth of their relationships that reminded them they were complete beings that could grow and reach for more. No matter what they were, no matter where they were.

For trying was the nature of their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's a wrap, everybody! I can't believe we have done it! 70,000 words after and this story has come to an end.
> 
> This started as a silly idea because we love werewolves, we love ladies and we love Derdriu! But it turned into something more as I wrote it. As usual, I left myself to be taken away by the plot, and just vibed with it. I wanted this to be fluff, yet added angst, still mostly fluff.
> 
> It was a ride in the sense that nor Marianne and Ingrid or Hilda and Dorothea have support conversations in the game and I had to decide based on their personalities and their relationship with other students how they would interact. Did I do good? Did I do bad? Who knows, it's already done.
> 
> As always, I can't thank you enough all of you who came here and read, commented, left kudos, and just sent me your opinions about this story, you absolutely rock and make my day! It's a huge inspiration to receive feedback in the crazy endeavors I take on! I loved writing this and I hoped you liked it to the very end.
> 
> I will revisit this universe later, I'm sure. There are so many things I wish to talk about, little scenes I didn't get to write in the middle of all the craziness that was going on here and maybe just looking forward to their future and how these four face life, one day at a time! But, for now, I will let it rest.
> 
> Take care all of you, have a hug and a cup of coffee from me and I wish you all the best. Until next time we meet!

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a dumb idea and committed to it. Welcome to my gift of fluff and love for these wonderful characters!
> 
> This is, as well, my way to pay for my angsty sins that are to come.
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter by @KuroKR_ where you can usually find me publishing gay stuff and gushing over gay stuff.
> 
> Comments and kudos are so much appreciated! I need to thank all my fellow writers in the servers I'm in that had to hear me talk about this project FOREVER before it saw the light!


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